At what age would you think it is acceptable not to know your child's passcode on their phone....?

[SmallDucks]

15?
17?
18?
older? Younger?

16?

16

When they start paying for it!

16 is ridiculous that’s the peak age for them being vulnerable online. When they are no longer a child so 18.

You wouldn't give a 17 year old privacy? Yikes

I really feel for some teens. So many parents seem unwilling to parent them once they turn 16.

@orwellwasright i would and do protect my and do protect my children from exploitation. Not something you care about?

I do t know my kids passcodes, well I do know DD21 because she has never changed it in years and there have been times where she has said 'just use my phone' if mine has been elsewhere. I don't know the passcode to DD12 phone but she will unlock it on request. She isn't on any social media or anything and barely looks at her phone. I primarily got it for her going into high school but at the moment she isn't attending much so the phone isn't used. She isn't able to download anything without me approving it anyway.

Parenting doesn’t imply control/ no respect for a teenager’s boundaries/ privacy.

I’d say 15 or16
x

When they pay their own bills?

otherwise around 16-18 unless there are issues that need additional supervision.

DS is 19 and hugely private, not for any reason, a bit like myself really. I don't think I have looked at his phone for years.

17/18 is too old imo I didn’t even live at home at those ages 🤦🏻🤣

When they 16 - but hopefully before that age - they should be able to feel they can come to you their parent, or a trusted adult who will explain the situation to their parent so there should be no need to know the passcode on their phone.

Then again I've been shown inappropriate images by a couple of related teens in the past.....

No experience of this as my kids are still young but I think I'd say 15/16

Or even before. I don't know actually it's a good question!

15/16 - although I trust my daughter and she would let me look if I had specific concerns.

So many people seem to think a teenagers right to 'privacy' trumps safeguarding them 😳 at age 15 they are too young to be in relationships, unlikely to be earning any money of their own, just what do they need 'privacy' for?! Chances are if there are things they feel a need to hide from you it's because it's something they know they shouldn't be doing!! Age 15/16 I wouldn't have cared if my mum looked at my phone there was nothing to see but a few silly texts to friends that my mum wouldn't have been interested in, silly GIFs and pictures shared etc.

I had friends this age who wouldn't have wanted parents to see their phone.... Because parents would then discover they were in trouble at school, or smoking weed, or sending vile bullying messages, or borrowing money from friends, or associating with much older/inappropriate friends. All of which their parents really should have known about and maybe then they could have taken action!

I don't know my DD14 passcode but she will show me her phone if asked. And she will come to me if anything upsets her eg someone saying something nasty on Whatsapp. I feel this is a good level of trust and understanding on both sides but we've built up over 3 years of giving a little more independence on the understanding that xyz is given in return.

So many people seem to think a teenagers right to 'privacy' trumps safeguarding them 😳**

I think it's more a case of there being more than one way to 'safeguard' your child and going straight to check their phone isn't always the best approach?

at age 15 they are too young to be in relationships, unlikely to be earning any money of their own, just what do they need 'privacy' for?!

This is extreme, really extreme.

Wow, i had strict parents, but at-least they i had privacy on my own phone from around 15!

at 16 not a chance would i let my parent view my phone ( was paying for my own at that age).
nothing on it, but still!

Quite. Very extreme

18…actually i think i know the passcodes for two of them, one at 20 and one at 23

ive never checked their phones (on purpose) but they knew I could at any given time

We don’t know DD 14 passcode; my experience is that if they have something they don’t want you to see they will do a good enough job of hiding it whether you have their passcode or not.
Open conversation, time with them, observing mood and behaviour and having a good relationship is just as effective (more really) than checking their phones

What happens the day they turn 18? Why is a 17 year old the day before their 18th birthday any more vulnerable than an 18 year old? They're not are they.

The only difference is is that one is an adult so you can't control them any more. And that's what this is - control not protection.

If your 17 year has not learnt how to assess risk and protect themselves online then you have absolutely failed as a parent. Why not spend more time talking to your children and less time controlling them?