Bringing dog to stay at relatives houses?

[Oaktree55]

We have two cats, one skittish. MIL insisting on bringing very active prey driven dog to stay. We have an annexe where she could stay happily with dog but wants to stay in the main house.

I wouldn’t dream of taking our dog to anyones house unless they suggested it. I’ll now have a very upset cat weeing everywhere for weeks after.

AIBU? How many people have others dogs to stay overnight?

Dog stays at home with dog sitter.
Only time we took dog with us was when there were no other pets in the house and the owners were ok with it.
She is being unreasonable as there is an annexe she can stay in.
I would tell her she stays in the annexe or does not bring the dog.
What is her reason for insisting on staying in the main house?

YANBU to expect her to stay in the annex that you are very fortunate to own. However, it would BU to place barriers in the way of your DH mother from visiting her son in his own home. The logistics of your MILs situation isn't clear on your OP and banning the dog could mean your DH and MIL see a lot less of each other.

How does your DH feel about the situation?

Family member suggested coming to stay at ours recently with dog. we are not set up in any way for a dog! No enclosed garden, open plan house. They decided not to come when we politely pointed this out and suggested a couple of alternatives.

We take our dog to stay with my relatives - all dog lovers, who have/have had dogs of their own. We don't take her to stay with my in-laws, because they're not massive fans of dogs. Friends - we'd only take her if she was specifically invited. She has never been in DH's sister's house, even though they live close by and we're in and out of each other's houses a lot. That seems fine to me - it's their house.
In your situation, surely she doesn't get to insist?

Ha
never in a month of Sundays
not any animal

so you have children?

YANBU to have dog in your house when it would upset your current pets and have a perfectly good annexe for her to stay in. Sounds like she's being difficult for the sake of it.

I have a dog and I wouldn't dream of expecting to take it to stay at someone's house unless I knew that they were set up for it and wouldn't mind. You've also provided her with a solution in the annex but it seems that's not good enough?? You're being perfectly reasonable.

Your home, your rules. There is absolutely no way I would allow a dog in my home for a short visit never mind an overnight stay or longer

If my partner wanted his family to visit with a dog then I wouldn’t be staying and I would go and have my own visit elsewhere while they were there.

We used to take our dog to my parents' house with cats, but he was used to cats as we had two. We also took his crate so he had a home from home and we had a means of containing him if needed, and his stake and line for the garden.

She’s be staying in the annexe or not coming at all. People are so rude. Get a dog sitter or use kennels.

I don't take my dogs to visit where it's not a good idea, either because the hosts don't want them or because they have cats etc. Some friends and relatives are happy to have them round, that's different.

I think your MiL is sticking her head in the sand a bit, how awful would it be if her dog killed one of your cats?!

Just say no FFS.

It is cruel to inflict this on your cats.

We have a dog but I don’t allow visiting dogs as it upsets my cats too much.
The only exception is one friend who works with animals and has impeccably behaved dogs who dont even look at the cats

We have an 8 month old puppy (and 3 cats). As we can’t leave the pup alone for too long we ask if she can come with us if we’re going round to see good friends for the evening but they’ve usually got dogs too. If anyone said no we’d manage as I’d never want to distress anyone or anything. My in-laws have 2 cats and they’re not used to dogs so we haven’t taken her with us. I think your MIL is being v.v.unreasonable! If you think your cats will cope with the dog being in the annex you would insist she stays there or not at all. However, if you still think your cat will get stressed then you need to put your foot down and say no…your house, your rules!

Just say no?

We have 2 cats, one nervous. No dog allowed in our house, I'm afraid. If that means some people won't visit, so be it, we're fine with that. It's the cats' home they don't get to be scared by a dog coming into it. The end.

it would BU to place barriers in the way of your DH mother from visiting her son in his own home

The MIL is the one putting the barriers in the way. She chose to have a dog, so it's up to her to find a solution which means she can see her son. Not up to the OP. I wouldn't have a dog in my house and I don't have cats. And the OP has an annexe, so there is a ready made solution there!

If my partner wanted his family to visit with a dog then I wouldn’t be staying and I would go and have my own visit elsewhere while they were there

Same here, although I wouldn't like the idea that a dog had been in the house. However, I suppose as if DH cleaned the house thoroughly afterwards it wouldn't matter.

Oh I would definitely expect a deep clean before I returned

Are you mental @Cyw2018?! I think the OP is generous offering the annex - I wouldn’t - pets are the owners problem I certainly wouldn’t take any animal I own to another persons house or expect them to bring one to mine!

We have 2 dogs. Its simple.

"Can we bring the dogs?"

"Sorry the cat hates dogs"

"OK we will sort out a dog sitter/alternative place to stay. See you soon"

Anything else is either you being a doormat or the MIL needs told by her son what is and isnt reasonable.

Why do people get dragged into these situations?

She can stay in the annexe with the dog or she can put the dog in boarding and stay in the main house or she can stay at home with the dog.

(I have a dog and cats)

I never visited parents with Two Sighthounds despite them being well mannered.
Mum lets me bring a well mannered Whippet now, as she has no cat.

A “ -Skittish- ( PITA) dog would be a nightmare all round, especially with cats.

YANBU

Sorry but if you can't put your foot down you only have yourself to blame. I would never allow dogs in the house because I don't like them. If dog owners would refrain from visiting because of that, well that's their choice.

I always say no.
I have allergies and as much as I love animals, if I wanted one in my house I would have bought one.
I notice that inlaws can find sitters when they are visiting someone they want or going on holiday, but less so for their DILs - some like to make issues.

I'm a dog fan, but not in a month of Sundays would I permit one to enter my house whilst my elderly cat is still alive. He gets anxious around other animals (fine with people though) and has poor eyesight so if a dog snuck up on him or cornered him he'd be traumatised. It's his house so his health and happiness most definitely come first, I don't care whose dog it is.

MIL is BVU and her son needs to have a word.