Bringing dog to stay at relatives houses?

[Oaktree55]

We have two cats, one skittish. MIL insisting on bringing very active prey driven dog to stay. We have an annexe where she could stay happily with dog but wants to stay in the main house.

I wouldn’t dream of taking our dog to anyones house unless they suggested it. I’ll now have a very upset cat weeing everywhere for weeks after.

AIBU? How many people have others dogs to stay overnight?

And if there's a door between the main house and the annexe, make sure she doesn't keep "forgetting" to shut it.

I have had son's dog to stay (with and without its owners) and friends dogs to stay. All tolerably obedient housetrained clean dogs I know well, familiar with my dog and cats. Our sons have hosted all our dogs and cats , ditto conditions.
Including our laid-back retired racing greyhound whose attitude to his previous job of chasing small things was " No way. I'm retired and off duty.".

I wouldn't host unknown dogs.

I've always taken my dog to family houses, he's very much invited though. He also comes to work and just got emotional support dog status (through slightly iffy process by exh's employer clamped down on him going to work without it)

I wouldn't have a dog in my house no matter who it belonged too.

If there is the option of the annexe, why on earth isn't she using it?? I'm a dog/pet person but would NEVER be so rude or insistent on where I take my dog.
She uses the annexe or stays home

I've had cats around 23 years now, and no one has ever got a dog over the doorstep. SIL asked a few times in first couple of years, but I politely told her 'no', meaning 'absolutely no way under any circumstances!!'. Cats are sensitive creatures and very much like the comfort of their own territory, so there's no way I'd have a dog to stay.

YABU to let this dog in your house. Have you suggested to MIL that it might be slightly awkward you would boot her out the same night and never speak to her again if her dog kills one of your cats.

I remember as a teenager a family friend bringing their Jack Russell round to sit in this garden. This thing would literally lose its shit whenever it saw a cat or other small animal. Somehow it got loose and into our house so I rushed in to rescue our sleeping cat. I managed to get the cat to the stairs, throw it upstairs and kick the dog down the stairs but my arms and face were absolutely shredded from cat scratches and my legs and knees from this dog trying to get to and bite the cat. It was absolutely horrific and after that my parents said no to the dog. The owner of course was very upset that I'd booted her precious dog repeatedly to get it downstairs 🙄.

Your MIL is just trying to be difficult and your husband thinks you’re the unreasonable one? Is he incredibly low intellect, or just a dick?

I have a cat but would not agree to dogs staying over even if I didn't.

He must have a detailed, well thought out plan on how to prevent the dog mauling the cat, and for keeping the cat calm and content. Surely?

Dogs and MILs = hard work
stay well away from both is my advice!

Your poor cat.
YANBU not to let MIL stay in the house.

Your MIL and DH don't sound like animal lovers to want to inflict this on your cat.
You need to protect your cat. What if the dog got hold of it?

She is rude and unfair.

She's had a perfectly reasonable offer of the annexe. What an entitled arse hole.

Said as a dog lover and owner of a terrier with a high prey drive.

Asking fine. Expecting not.

Really unfair on your own pets. Say no for their sakes, that's their home

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. However, I wouldn't stay anywhere without my dog, so I would have to stay in the nearest travelodge and meet up somewhere dog friendly, if I wanted to spend some time with you.

We relocated 3 years ago. We are almost 4 hours drive away from family. Each time we visit,we have to leave our anxious rescue dog with overnight boarders which costs us £60 a time. It's annoying as no one ever visits us,it's always us having to fork out on fuel and dog sitting.

I voted YABU...because it's up to you to tell her no. And if you won't you can't really complain about the outcome. If its not fair on the cats, prevent it. Or don't, and the cats distress is on you.

What would you like to happen in this situation? Can't you just visit less?

Presumably you don't think your dog should be allowed free reign in a relative's house where it might kill the resident pets?

Your MIL is being very unreasonable. And I say this as a massive dog lover and disliker of cats.

We currently have four cats and nothing on earth would persuade me to let any dog into their home, let alone a prey-driven one.

No fucking chance.

We were once having a new central heating system installed, and I popped to the shops for a few minutes. When I got back there was a Jack Russell running around my back garden and in and out of the back door. It belonged to one of the plumbers, who turned up when I was out.

I ripped him a new one. The plumber that is, not the dog.

Your own pets well-being should come first. Other people work round that.

I voted yabu because yabu to allow a dog into your cats home knowing it will upset the cat. And it sounds like you will cave to keep he peace and it's the cat that bears the brunt.

Same.

Thankfully I don't know anyone rude or entitled enough to think their dog has to go everywhere with them, including to my home.