Bringing dog to stay at relatives houses?

[Oaktree55]

We have two cats, one skittish. MIL insisting on bringing very active prey driven dog to stay. We have an annexe where she could stay happily with dog but wants to stay in the main house.

I wouldn’t dream of taking our dog to anyones house unless they suggested it. I’ll now have a very upset cat weeing everywhere for weeks after.

AIBU? How many people have others dogs to stay overnight?

All of our family are dog lovers and we stay with them with our dog, and they bring dogs to us. Any friends locally who are coming for dinner can bring their dogs etc.
If a friend couldn't accommodate our dog, I wouldn't be looking for a dog sitter. I would possibly book a dog friendly hotel down the road or, more likely, would make my excuses and just not see them!

Did you even read the first sentence of my post? Which Replied to OP specific situation, the rest was in relation to her general question.

I also asked what OP DH opinion was, since it is his house also, and his Mother involved.

She’s definitely insisting purely to be difficult. I have no issue with her bringing the dog over either, that way we can all sit in one room and close the door.

To have her sleep in the house means the dog will be running free as she won’t be cared enough to shut door at night etc.

Yes my main issue is I feel it’s cruel on our cats as one in particular will react very badly.

OH thinks I’m unreasonable that’s why I posted here to gauge response.

I love dogs, and I would love to have one come and stay with us, but it wouldn't happen, because we have 2 cats, and at least one of them would be a nervous wreck.

Your MIL is being very cheeky trying to insist that the dog comes into the main house when you have an annex that you've offered. She's lucky the annex is an option, no one is entitled to bring their dog with them into anothers home.

What does your DH say about this?

We have dogs. I wouldn’t dream of insisting they were included in an invitation to stay.

Sorry, cross post.

What does your OH suggest you do to minimise the impact on your cats? If he thinks the dog coming into the main house should happen, then he needs to come up with solutions to make it work. He also needs to take responsibilty for cleaning up any and all cat wee, and replacing any items that get ruined. After all, there is a perfectly good alternative that would avoid all of that.

I don’t allow skittish over the top dogs in my house either, especially as my son was bitten by one when son sat on our own sofa!

Nope. I would tolerate a well behaved dog for a very nice relative if no cats. But it is the cats home too they can't have a dog stay.
MIL should leave dog or stay in annex. If dh doesn't support I would look into alternative arrangements for the cats. I would be livid though.

I refuse to have dogs in my house, because I don’t like them and the very thought makes me itch. I will tolerate them in other settings.

This has proved a useful way to filter out visitors who don’t actually care enough to make an effort to see me if they can’t drop in entirely at their convenience.

@Oaktree55
I carried my Whippet through Brother’s house, as I could see his ( House cats) were upset by even a quiet on lead dog.
Ours stayed in the secure back garden for visit.
Cats can pee when upset.

My dog only visits other people when he is specifically invited. He never goes in my sisters (she has a cat). I use a dog sitter if I want to go somewhere the dog can’t go. Your MIL is very unreasonable.

I’d happily have friend’s dogs to stay, but in that situation and with an annex that’s what I’d offer. And what I’d be delighted to accept for my dogs if I was going somewhere.

YANBU.

Its not fair on your cats.

We once let my brother bring his 8 month old dog thinking in the cats would just stay out of the way. One of our cats was chased by him (he just wanted to play but cat didn’t know) and lost his bowels over the floor. I’ve never felt so horrible in putting him in that situation.

You can't be expected to host her dog running loose in your house when you have cats. That would be ridiculous even if you didn't have an annexe. It's doubly ridiculous because you do.

As pp said, either she stays in the annexe or she leaves the dog at home. Her choice.

I didn't even know taking your dog to stay with other people was a thing. Growing up we had plenty of relatives with dogs. They never brought the dogs when they came to stay with us.

We take our small dog to stay with people who are 100% happy for us to do so. We also visit relatives with cats (as long as they are happy) and they usually shut the cats away. But we would only ever stay there for a couple of hours, never longer, as it would not be fair to the cats or the dog who would get stressed smelling them.

Your MIL is being ridiculous and selfish, particularly as you gave the perfect compromise with the annexe. I bet your DH wouldn’t be the one who ended up cleaning up the weeks of cat piss either!!

‘Unfortunately, that doesn't work for us. You are welcome to stay in the annex with the dog, but the dog will not be able to come into the main house due to impact on the cats.’

then ‘unfortunately, that doesnt work for us.’ No further comment.

then, ‘no.’

then, ‘fuck off and take your weakass son with you.’

We are visiting a friend next month, taking our caravan and parking on their drive. They have a reactive dog plus cats. Our dog will stay on lead or long line. She won't be going indoors.

We are visiting a friend next month, taking our caravan and parking on their drive. They have a reactive dog plus cats. Our dog will stay on lead or long line. She won't be going indoors.

I like dogs but people who treat them like toddlers who can't be left alone for a while are just ridiculous.

If my partner wanted his family to visit with a dog then I wouldn’t be staying and I would go and have my own visit elsewhere while they were there

I wouldn't even be happy with that. No dog in my house whether I'm there or not.

Cat owner here! I'm actually fine with friends bringing dogs to visit and stay, as long as the dogs are under control at all times. So, on the lead or shut in a room. The cats retreat to their "safe space" upstairs, and are generally fine. There has to be a bit of give and take, and it does look as if your MIL won't be helpful in that respect.

Some can’t be left. Ours has separation anxiety and will bark the place down if left for more than ten minutes, which isn’t fair on our neighbours. We’re working on it and seeing gradual improvement but it’s not a quick or easy fix.

YANBU at all!

Your OH and his mum can both go stay in the annexe with the blasted dog IMO.

I have cats (including a very skittish rescue) and no way in a month of Sundays would I let someone bring a dog to my house. It's your cats home, they should feel safe in their territory and not have a dog (particularly if you mention its prey driven and your MIL is useless at containing it) coming in.

Fine, but you presumably don't bring it to places it's not wanted.

@Oaktree55
No way I had to dogs of my own and they never got inside the house lol.

Tell her is your house with no dog or the annexe with dog. she can then make up her own mind about still wsiting to come.