How to handle bonkers request from neighbour

[DaphneMoonsSeattle]

We live on a small estate (22 houses). One of my neighbours knocked on my door yesterday to ask if I could please stop my DC riding their scooters past her house.

Today my DD came in to tell me that the neighbour had now asked her not to ride on the footpath outside her house. I went outside. She asked me why my DC ride on the footpath right outside her house. I told her; it's a footpath. They're allowed on the footpath. I have asked DD to avoid being right outside her house but my DS is autistic. I've told her that. He doesn't understand "don't ride your scooter on this particular bit of the footpath".

But, aibu to think that what she's asked is unreasonable? You can't ask people to not use a footpath! They are not on her property, fair enough she can absolutely ask people not to be on her property, but she can't control the footpath. She's complained that they ride their scooters near her car. Her car is parked right beside the footpath. She's in a corner house so she probably does have more footpath outside her house than most. But that's not really anybody's fault. She's really taking it personally. 'They're outside MY house'. They're on the footpath, they're not peeking in her windows!

I think this is one of tbe best posts I’ve read on this thread !

Does she not have a driveway to park on? That's the private land she controls, the rest is public property so she has not rights or control over it's use.

She’s a bloody fruit loop

From what the OP has said, no the footpath isn't an adopted footpath. Depending on what the titles to the houses say it might belong to individual houses fronting each section or to all the owners in common or possibly have been left with a management company.

SmugOldBag's post is one of the best. I don't think the OP and her children are as blameless and in the right as the OP thinks they are.

Most unadopted roads are still publicly accessible highway/footway.

Even if the liability rests with the residents (with or without management company) the likelihood is there is public access.

This doesn't appear to be an unadopted road- it seems more like the amenity/ open space area in a private development. Although whatever it is it doesn't preclude the possibility that the OP's children could just possibly be a bit inconsiderate.

I'd draw some lines on the footpath just short of her car and tell the kids not to cross it. Then they still have lots of scooting space but don't get near the neighbour's car. Surely that is win/win?

BTW, she's lucky I aren't the 9 year old on the street. I suspect I'd have taken up more scooting in that direction. I think I was a bit of a brat when told not to do something.

Wow 9 pages for what should have been a simple 'no' from OP to her neighbour.

I kind of think you both have a point.

We live in a terrace with no garden. Our front door opens onto the public foot path. We have a few kids who play on their scooters alot that go past our house. When they do the noise spooks our two dogs and one of them then starts loudly barking for a minute or two.

Have I thought of asking the kids not to scoot on the path outside my house? Yes I have. They could scoot on the other side of the road where it wouldn't be so noisy or near our door, outside the houses that DO have front gardens......but I recognise that it is unreasonable to ask so I haven't.

Could her logic be similar to mine in that it is causing anxiety within her home via pet or family member?? In which case she's not unreasonable really to ask just in case...but she has no leg to stand on if you say no.

All this, "she doesn't own the footpath..."

It's just common courtesy, basic consideration for others, to not do loud annoying things repetitively outside anyone else's home.

It's the same at the cinema these days, everyone talking loudly and playing with their phones so the light shines around, and eating stinky food... Nobody with a movie ticket ever "owned the cinema" but basic consideration meant people did not use to behave this way; ditto singing along while at musicals, etc.

You let your 9 year old take your autistic 6 year old out alone for 3 years unattended on scooters?

does it occur to you that your neighbour is more concerned about that than anything else?

Hours

Probably does feel like three years to the poor neighbours, to be honest!

maybe because that isn’t the answer.

I reckon the neighbours is using her car is a ruse for what she is actually concerned about

a 9 year old in sole charge of an autistic 6 year old for 3 hours

tell her to go away. It's her problem not yours. Leave your children to play. It's part of life when you live on a street. Don't like it go live away from people.

On my road there was a time when quite a few children played out, within 10 houses there were 13 children. All the children were born within a 4 year period around 2000 including my own DS. They played out a lot.

Now most of those children have left home. The only noise from that time that I hated was when a basketball was being used. It’s the repetitive thump or noise that is hard to tolerate, children just laughing and messing about with the odd bit of shouting was fine. Scooters are very noisy. Three hours is a lot plus it’s intermittent. I imagine it’s got to the point she is on edge waiting for the noise to happen.

Plus your diagram, it looks as if you cant see your children as there is a curve in the footpath. I live on a regular road. Myself and my neighbour next door would intermittently just glance out of our front bay windows and we could see the children. Children should play out but as one is only 6 and is autistic surely you want to be able to see them easily?

maybe she should have thought of that prior to buying a house next to the footpath?

It is a footpath^ though and not a park.

It has come up on here that the neighbour should have bought a house in a field if she objects to the kids playing outside her house. As if that is always an option. Or only rich people are allowed to want some peace.
Equally, the case could be made that the OP should have bought a house with its own land if she wants to treat the whole estate as if it were her own private garden.

@ImAvingOops children playing isn't treating the whole place as your own private garden.🙄do you go out and tell people to stop driving past too🤔

bellabasset · Yesterday 17:07
Is your dd doing this continuously? If so maybe your ndn has a point. It's like the argument with trampolines, that's annoying if it's continuous outside your back door.“

this. Can you take them to a park sometimes instead?

So basically your kids spend their days laughing, shouting and rattling their scooters on the footpath by an elderly couple's house? I think you need to supervise them a bit more, encourage them to play outside YOUR house and keep a tighter eye on them. I feel you're being a bit entitled here.

No, because driving past is what the road is designed for. Just as the footpath is for people to walk on. Not for children to stay playing on for hours, otherwise it would be called a park!
The neighbour has no legitimate right to complain about your children using the path to pass her house, but she maybe does have a legitimate reason to object to kids playing outside her house for hours when they could play outside their parents' houses.

I can see why she finds it annoying. Noisy kids outside your house are a special kind of torture.

I think it depends on the type of estate, if it's full of young families and loads of kids are out on their scooters/ playing/ making noise then that's one thing and essentially what they 'signed up for' but if it's a quiet estate and only your kids making a racket for everyone I'd be a bit embarrassed and try to find things for them to do in the garden, parks etc.