How to handle bonkers request from neighbour

[DaphneMoonsSeattle]

We live on a small estate (22 houses). One of my neighbours knocked on my door yesterday to ask if I could please stop my DC riding their scooters past her house.

Today my DD came in to tell me that the neighbour had now asked her not to ride on the footpath outside her house. I went outside. She asked me why my DC ride on the footpath right outside her house. I told her; it's a footpath. They're allowed on the footpath. I have asked DD to avoid being right outside her house but my DS is autistic. I've told her that. He doesn't understand "don't ride your scooter on this particular bit of the footpath".

But, aibu to think that what she's asked is unreasonable? You can't ask people to not use a footpath! They are not on her property, fair enough she can absolutely ask people not to be on her property, but she can't control the footpath. She's complained that they ride their scooters near her car. Her car is parked right beside the footpath. She's in a corner house so she probably does have more footpath outside her house than most. But that's not really anybody's fault. She's really taking it personally. 'They're outside MY house'. They're on the footpath, they're not peeking in her windows!

I don’t have kids and yes, sometimes I find other people’s kids annoying. But I don’t think I would ever feel entitled to demand that children didn’t ride scooters past my house on a public footpath purely because I was somewhat annoyed by wheels on a pavement. I’m annoyed by loads of things, but jeez, children are allowed to use the pavement for scooters (or rollerskates or skateboards or whatever). It’s not like they’re revving a quad bike or hanging around on the pavement staring into the house and swearing. Just because someone finds an everyday activity slightly annoying, that doesn’t mean it’s antisocial.

What is it about this day and age that everyone is like that’s somebody else’s problem. It’s a neighbourhood, surely a compromise can be met. Constant hearing the hard wheels of a scooter must be so annoying for hours. Ask them to play with something else sometimes. Can you not take them to the park to be scooting about?

No one is anti-child. But a parenting site is obviously about how to parent a child properly.

Don't back down all she will move on to something else and with your child having ASD you will always be answering to her. Ask how much council tax she pays, then say you pay too. My view is if you have a difficult neighbor give them a problem.then it gets them out of your hair.

I don't think it's anti child on MN either.
Unfortunately there are too many parents who don't care what their kids are doing so long as they aren't being inconvenienced by their behaviour! Or who think their children are the centre of everything and no one has a right to be annoyed by them at all!

then maybe she should have thought of that prior to buying a house next to the footpath?

she could also park elsewhere

Sounds ant-social to me. It’s one thing to use the pathway as access, quite another to be using it repeated for hours on end. Whether that’s broken up in 3 one hour slots of 6 half an hour slots. Still excessive and anti-social. It must be impact your neighbour.

Imagine if they did it for a minimum of 10 minutes at a time. If it is 3 hours in total, she would have to listen to this 30 times a day, 10 minutes at a time.

It just sounds terrible.

That should read: into 3 one hour slots OR 6 half an hour slots.

then maybe she should have thought of that prior to buying a house next to the footpath?

A footpath is for walking on with feet - hence the word. Not for scooting on for hours.

Tell her to buy a detached house in it's own grounds..
And buy those musical horns for each handle.
..

No matter how you break down the 3 hours, it is terrible. I’d complain to the council or whoever deals with these things for an estate. It is totally antisocial.

Encouraging children to respect their surroundings and be considerate to others will help rather than hinder them. It is also unfair to suggest that people who are autistic are incapable of being respectful.

It’s noisy and anti social and you’re children are too young (and too noisy) not to be supervised.

I asked OP about supervision earlier in the thread, but this post is just awful. This is someone's DCs you are talking about, your wording is absolutely revolting.

3 hours a day is a lot, I’d be annoyed with the noise. I’d limit the time they are on the scooters. I don’t think they should stop all together.

Unless the neighbour is barking mad, it's likely the neighbour is afraid of getting her car damaged by unsupervised children outside her home for hours. Not unreasonable.
Not fully understanding why your child can't play outside her own house and then only you have the worry and noise of it all.

My mind is genuinely blown at the people who are saying the kid shouldn't play outside others houses😂it's a street it happens🤷🏻‍♀️I certainly wouldn't stop my child from playing in the street because of noise from scooter or a neighbour worried about their car🤷🏻‍♀️

The law is against her. She just doesn't know it.

YABU in calling the neighbour's request "bonkers" while also admitting that the scooters going up and down the footpath could be annoying.
But it's not just a nuisance issue, but a safety one too. Other pp have expressed concern about a 9 year old and a 6 year old being left to ride their scooters unsupervised for a total of 3 hours a day when one of them is autistic and unable to follow instructions. I was nearly hit by a scooter being ridden at speed on a pavement. To dodge me, the rider jumped off the scooter which then continued unto the road ... and was promptly run over by a car. I dread to think what could have happened if the rider had remained on the scooter.

Are you Jacob Rees Mogg?

Our horrible neighbour, also objected to our lovely quiet 7 year old, riding past his house on her scooter, by herself. It was at the end of our drive, past their house, over the road, back past three houses to ours again. No other children and no noise. Not every day, just once in a while. He said he would report us to Social Services.
When his baby grew up, he played on their drive, playing with his fathers chain saw etc, until the man later bought him, toy versions of his power tools.
Are…sool.

From @CuriousCatfish
”I hate how more people working from home means they expect the rest of the neighbours to be quiet.
Maybe stop being so lazy and go into work.”

I WFH, have done for 7 years pre-pandemic. My company doesn’t HAVE an office to go into, that doesn’t make me lazy. Geez. I really thought that due to the pandemic, we’d moved on in understanding WFH…

Also OP, you mention your DS being autistic, well your neighbour might be too? My good friend, recently diagnosed, is incredibly sensitive to sound, so that might be an issue for your neighbour too. It might not be, but something to consider perhaps.

Scooter wheels drive me mad I would rather have screaming kids then that noise. You said your child is autistic she might be as well and the noise might be overwhelming for her.

Is it a private road or a gated estate? If not it's a public footpath surely?

Oh, only three hours!

Three hours of total time is two and three-quarter hours far too much. It's not just the squeaky wheels, and the constant presence, it's the excited shrieking and calling out, and nobody wants that shrilling on a regular basis on the footpath or roadway in front of their house. It drills at the nerves.

This is not a bonkers request - for you to have some consideration of others.

And good old ageism remains alive and kicking on Mumsnet