How to handle bonkers request from neighbour

[DaphneMoonsSeattle]

We live on a small estate (22 houses). One of my neighbours knocked on my door yesterday to ask if I could please stop my DC riding their scooters past her house.

Today my DD came in to tell me that the neighbour had now asked her not to ride on the footpath outside her house. I went outside. She asked me why my DC ride on the footpath right outside her house. I told her; it's a footpath. They're allowed on the footpath. I have asked DD to avoid being right outside her house but my DS is autistic. I've told her that. He doesn't understand "don't ride your scooter on this particular bit of the footpath".

But, aibu to think that what she's asked is unreasonable? You can't ask people to not use a footpath! They are not on her property, fair enough she can absolutely ask people not to be on her property, but she can't control the footpath. She's complained that they ride their scooters near her car. Her car is parked right beside the footpath. She's in a corner house so she probably does have more footpath outside her house than most. But that's not really anybody's fault. She's really taking it personally. 'They're outside MY house'. They're on the footpath, they're not peeking in her windows!

Ah yes! I work with someone whose surname is 'Claxton' and I just typed it automatically.

Sorry about that.

What a hoot eh? 😉

3 hours?! I'm changing my vote, YABU. That's a very long time for an annoying repetitive noise.

But there are problems. Problems entirely caused by the OP’s children. The neighbour had made a reasonable request.

Past history ? Worried the little one is likely to get toppled by a reversing car?

are the children looking at driveways before they whizz past?

We had people who lived on our streets back when I was a kid, he used to come out and shout when we played near his house.
ignore her as long as they’re respecting her property.

OP said three hours total, not continuous. And people who can't cope with kids playing outside should live somewhere kids don't play outside. Unless they're screaming constantly or causing damage, they get to play. They spend the whole of their lives being told they shouldn't be stuck indoors on games consoles then when they play outside people whinge.

It seems that children are not people at all from this thread, and others. Just nuisances that need to be kept quiet whatever the circumstances. If you decide to live on a new build family estate you need to expect noise. I get it’s annoying and I mutter to myself every now and again but it’s life. Every neighbour has different tolerances and requirements. The poor kids can’t satisfy anyone according to their specific rules. My neighbours whinge about my kids playing in their own garden. My children’s private sanctuary. They glare at them from their first floor windows (they over look our back garden - trees are going in v.soon to block them from looking) and I’ve given up telling my children to be quiet after the older male neighbour screamed shut up them for playing out one evening. My husband and I both work from home. Only once since March 2020 have we, actually I, have had to complain about noise interfering with work. It was from neighbouring builders and my husband told me I was being unreasonable. Good, decent neighbours try to help and resolve issues. Poor neighbours whinge, complain and don’t compromise as they are selfish.

Exactly, it’s noise you’d expect from living in close proximity. If she wants silence she can move. I would say ‘kids will be kids’ and not respond any further.

Personally I would tell her not to speak to my children in future.

I’d be well pissed off if I was your neighbour as well. I WFH and every day after school I have to listen to next doors kid kicking a cone around the street for up to an hour at a time. Does my fucking head in. I’ve been tempted to go out in the still of night and lob it over the fence into the bushes.

Is she older? she sounds older...

Obviously the neighbour doesn't own the footpath but three hours is a lot of time to be listening to what could be quite a loud noise.

Also you may want to think a bit about whether you are contributing to a good neighbourhood or a bad neighbourhood when you say both Yes, I agree it's probably annoying for her. I don't think she's being unreasonable for being annoyed and You can't expect everyone else to tiptoe around what you find annoying though.

To the best of my knowledge currently my family don't do anything that my neighbours could reasonably call annoying - and if they were, and a neighbour came to talk to me about it, I would probably reflect and change it. I can't imagine saying 'you are not unreasonable to be annoyed but fuck you I am doing it anyway', which is how I interpret your posts.

Neither one of you is right.
Both you and neighbour need to show tolerance and consideration
She needs to realise that she can't live in a silent bubble.
You need to realise that there is a point at which your childrens noise may become annoying to others.

This isn't an all or nothing game. At least acknowledge that she is being impacted somehow and limit their scooting time.

Not sure about OP’s neighbours but ours are in their 70’s. I watch his Twitter account to see his neighbour complaints so im
prepared. It’s definitely give and take but both need to be prepared to
compromise. My neighbours won’t take anything but silence and they won’t happen with 2 primary school boys! Their next door but one neighbour (row of 3 that over look us) however says how much she loves hearing them
play as it reminds her of her grown up
child living at home which she misses. Communication is a big issue. When it fails, so
does everything else. I’ve had issues with my other neighbours, and them with us. We’ve discussed it like professional adults and sorted it. As well as remained good friends.

I understand they do not own the footpath but it is damn annoying listening to scooters and rollerskates going past 50 times a day up and down so it can get on your nerves if you are older. Can you not take them to the park for an hour every day to go on their scooter as realistically and legally they should not be on the footpath and most people just put up with it. Equally annoying we will have a young guy next door who brings out basketball net so for 7 hours a day he will be continuously bouncing the ball and it goes through my skull so going to get noise cancelling headset.

She INBU to find it irritating (I find listening to the tweens next door playing football in the neighbour’s garden for hours on end) but she IBU to complain about it (as I wouldn’t complain about the kids next door legitimately using their garden) and you ANBU to let them keep on doing it

All this drama could be avoided by simply saying 'Hi neighbour, I know the DC can be annoying but they still need to play outside. Could we reach a compromise?'.

Very good advice SmugOldBag if you talk to her and have a compromise of an hour or two a day and then he won't be near her house as that is what neighbours have to do to get on so there is no tension.

Yeah I’d tell your kids to stick to being outside yours and immediately neighbouring properties only. You have no idea what they’re doing round the bend near this neighbours house as you can’t see them. 3 hours a day of hearing a scooter rattle around would do my head in.

And if they keep it near to your house maybe you’ll appreciate just how grating it can become.

You could take them out somewhere like a park or woods every few days instead of letting them on the street for those days too to give your neighbours a break

What a sensible post.

I agree with this.
Last year there were a few DCs on my street ( average residential St) on scooters with hard wheels, they were just been kids laughing and playing , but along with the laughing snd hard scooter wheels I had a flagstone that rocked when they went over it so it was
rummmbelll , laughing/ yelling/ ker thunk thunk for a few hrs at a time .
I never said anything but was mighty pleases when it rained !

Maybe she's concerned about dealing withthe remains of your children if they are hit by a car whilst playing in the street for hours on end, and thinks they'd be safer supervised, playing in their own garden or in a local park?

Oooh gave you seen the thread from ummm about summer time 1st lock down?

Something like 'letting DCS CHALK ON DRIVEWAY ?

it's a long but funny read , if ii can find it later I will post a link .

I've actually been thinking about this and am wondering if your neighbour is just on constant tenterhooks waiting for some sort of accident when she hears your children whizzing by. Possibly her own car being damaged or something even more serious. I was thinking about the situation and realised that was what I was thinking about. Although the noise would also add to the anxiety.

The reason I thought this is because you said your children were 9 and 6, and that one of them is autistic and wouldn't understand which bit of footpath they shouldn't go on, which would indicate they may have trouble understanding other instructions. Which child is the autistic child? Because if they are the 9 year old, who is actively looking after the 6 year old? Because clearly they aren't responsible enough? And if they are the 6 year old, then a 9 year old is too young to have the responsibility of trying to look after an autistic 6 year old who can't understand simple instructions regarding avoiding a piece of footpath. You've admitted yourself you don't supervise them constantly. Just a thought...

When I think of my 70s childhood, every child was out playing when not at school.

What a miserable neighbour . So long as your Dc aren’t makings excessive noise let them carry on. If she wants to leave in peace away from life she needs to move somewhere rural. But then she’ll complaining about cockerels and church bells!

It can be a bit irritating when neighbours kids always choose to play and gather outside your house and not outside their parents house. I haven't experienced this much myself but I know people who have and find it annoying.