To encourage you to really cry out/scream if you're in pain!

[foldingcares]

And you're in hospital.

If your pain is really bad, and you think something is wrong, cry out. Scream even.

I am on Day 4 post removal of part of my intestine after it was removed due to intestinal blockage. It could've killed me. I was in agony on arrival, the pain was like waves, and I made this really clear but I was calm. I manage pain by deep breathing and focusing on my breaths

Surgeon apologised and said things could've been different but we didn't know you were in such a bad way they only knew when it turned septic.

See also, delivery of my DD. Upon arrival, 3rd baby, I'm going to deliver soon.

Midwife 'are you sure? Okay well we will examine you. I'm just going to do some stuff and I'll be back soon'

I said I need to push. Oh are you sure? Are you sure you're ready? You don't seem to be

Left the room again. DD was caught by H at the side of the bed. He pressed the emergency buzzer and she was already crying by the time they ran in

If it really hurts it takes your breath away, and you can't scream.

@Toddlerteaplease I agree

@foldingcares
I hear you OP.

I'm only here now because a passing surgeon heard me kicking off in pain. I actually died on my way into the operating room. resuscitated obviously. Had I not been being such a pain in the arse I would have died that day.

I went into labour with my second - I am quite shy/stoic 😂 so perhaps didn’t show how much pain I was in. They didn’t examine me and sent me away. Anyway my son was twisted in my pelvis and I ended up having an extremely traumatic birth. They also said they ‘needed to see I was in pain more’. So yeah I’m with you Op.

I had this with my second. Was in agonising pain but obviously far too quiet about it - I’m not a crier. I had approached the midwife several times at the desk - she didn’t come in to check on me once - to tell her that I was increasing pain and thought things were progressing. She gave me 2 paracetamol and sent me back to bed on the first occasion. After that she seemed increasingly annoyed and told me that it was obvious that nothing was happening and pain in labour is to be expected.

I was only finally examined when dh came back - I’d sent him home to get some sleep but called him to come back as it got worse - took one look at me and told the midwife in no uncertain terms to get someone who knew what they were doing in to see me now. I was 8 cm and rushed down to give birth, unfortunately far too late for the epidural I’d been requesting for hours.

My sister is a doctor and she does say that unfortunately it is those patients who shout the loudest / make the most ‘fuss’ who get more attention.

@Jimmyneutronsforehead that's awful. Can I ask what happened to the clot? Did it just go on it's own? Also them telling you everybody gets small clots... on their lungs?!

I go very calm and focused in a crisis or when I'm in pain. Great when there's a situation that needs fixing, rubbish when I need people to believe I'm really in need of medical help.

A few years ago I fell and broke my hand, was in agony but had to pick my daughter up off the floor, calm her down, lug her and all our bags off the bus, take her into nursery and get to work. So because it had to be done I did it. Walked to hospital and they diagnosed an avulsion fracture of a finger and buddy taped it. Few days later of me being in a lot of pain I got a call to say another doctor had looked at the X-ray and could I please go back to hospital the next day for surgery to screw my hand bones back together please.

Last year I drove myself to hospital at 3am Sunday morning as couldn't get a taxi and no one else to drive me, in agony again which turned out to be a severely infected gallbladder which led to a 5 day stay in hospital, emergency surgery and a hell of a lot of antibiotics and morphine, but it took 4 hours and me suddenly starting to incessantly projectile vomit in the waiting room before anyone really believed I was in pain.

Lol. No.

I agree BUT a screaming makes it worse so I can't / won't.

I was in sheer agony with kidney stones but because I wasn't screaming they said they must be mild. The memory of the pain even now makes me feel sick but I was just breathing through it and not thinking about anything else.

Hope you're feeling better now OP

I think it depends, experienced staff should spot it. I was in a&e waiting for triage and pacing quietly around. Triage came out, saw me and pulled me in. She said I was grey with pain. Had morphine and then operated on pretty swiftly after that

Omg are you, me? Except I am the stupid one that just bit down and tried to cope.
I'm so used to biting down and not crying as I often have gallstone attacks while my kids are sat next to me so obviously don't want to upset them.
Spent 10hrs in a&e the other day, and as I wasn't crying wasn't given pain relief (did ask for it). Today find out that my gallbladder is seriously infected and therefore can't get it removed.
I should have gone to a&e when this first started and gone with the screaming.

Dh nearly died about 10 years ago. Perforated bowel, burst appendix, peritonitis. He was in A and E for 12 hours, dosed up on morphine. By the time they properly examined him it was almost too late and he was rushed to theatre. Said he only had a 10% chance of making it, and if he did, an extremely high chance of post.op complications. Which could be fatal.

He was very quiet and stoic. Apart from the throwing up you wouldn't have known he was seriously ill. Afterwards he was like 'yeah I was in fucking agony, convinced I was dying'. I said 'you were mate, why didn't you say?' And he was like 'well bloke next cubicle was having a heart attack, another bloke on a dnr having cancer problems, didn't want to make a fuss'.

I’m normally quiet in a crisis or when in pain. But when I was in back to back labour with our daughter, with no breaks between contractions, I literally could only cope by screaming my lungs out . At first I was so embarrassed, but then I just couldn’t help it and I gave up and went with it. I wasn’t doing it for attention, I was too far gone to think of it in that way - I just couldn’t stop.

I’m not sure if it helped me or not. The midwife on antenatal, who was very unsympathetic, kept insisting I wouldn’t get an epidural until I was 4 cm, but eventually I was taken to the labour ward and given one at less than 1cm. So maybe it was the screaming that did it. On the other hand it took many many hours of the screaming for the impossible epidural to become possible, so maybe not.

Something like this happened me but not in hospital. In 2019 I told my manager that I needed a hysterectomy and has a date a few months away. I was only 39 so I appreciate slightly younger than most. She hadn't been my manager for very long so then called me in a day or two later to ask was I really having one and did I really need it as she'd looked through my sick leave record for the past decade and I'd only had a handful of days when pregnant. I was having it because I had fibroids, endometriosis and adenomyosis and spent the vast majority of each month concentrating on not dying from the pain but because I never complained and was never out sick I had the Spanish Inquisition and I still think she doubts I actually had the surgery....probably thinks I had a friend write me the note 🙄

I just happened to read this, wonder if it’s related?

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/female-patients-half-as-likely-to-be-given-life-saving-drug-for-traumatic-injuries

I always think this when Dr's say "describe your pain on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is the worst pain you've ever experienced". I'm like, "I woke up post hip to hip incision for emergency hysterectomy and bladder repair surgery with next to no pain relief because my notes mistakenly said I'd had an epidural when I hadn't. So with this broken wrist / concussion headache / vomit inducing abdo pain, I'd say my current pain score is...3?".

Easy to see how one poorly managed health outcome leads to others.

Yeah I always compare. But if I say to my doctor "I don't know what I did but.." she is "well last time you said that you had a broken ankle, the time before you needed spinal surgery, and before that the burns unit. Hit me with it"

For me, cauda equina was 10/10, let me cut my own leg off, broken ankle a 4/10 and dry socket 1/10 but it'll vary so much for people too

It's not just pain either. I had an asthma attack and was left on a chair in a random area (just in the examination area sort of inside from A&E, not medical and can't really describe it because started to lose consciousness). I might have died if DH hadn't shouted for help.

Yep the midwives didn't believe I was in labour kept saying wait have a hot bath. I said no I was going in now they still didnt believe me and left me , my water broke and she checked me and I was 10 cm the difference in attitude !! They also lied on my notes and said active labour was 3 hours I'd only arrived in the hospital 45 minutes before !

I agree that medics have a certain view of what people in pain should present like.

I was told that as a first time mum that Labour would be at least 10 hours, contractions would likely stop and to take some paracetamol and have a bath.

Eventually I persuaded them to let me come in and by the time they looked at me they started panicking and telling me not to push (I was meant to have ABs as had strep B). DS arrived about 20 minutes later.

This resonates with me! When I’m really, really unwell I get quieter and more controlled, and I go ‘inward’ with severe pain. Sometimes, when it drags on, the burden builds up and I’ll cry quietly but only if I’m alone (or maybe with my mum)!

I do the same thing with fear. Just fold in on myself and try to get to a ‘nothing place’. Nobody believes how frightened I am - even when I’m adamant - because I appear very calm.

Agree with the point about the pain scale too. I live with daily pain and flare ups that would have people off work sick and I’ve had maybe 6 surgeries. My pain scale may not be the same as others. And my own pain scale differs depending on the type of pain or location or how long it’s been going on! 🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s a daft way to benchmark!

My mum has osteoporosis. She has an exceptionally high pain threshold.

A few years ago, she staggered around London with me with what was diagnosed as gout but turned out to be two broken ankles. We'd walked miles!

The next one was broken ribs, then fractured spine, then her foot (for about the fifth time), then the big one was what they thought was her hip needing a replacement.

After months of agony, they finally agreed to give her a steroid injection into the joint. Cue hospital trip, lying down for the injection being guided in using xrays when they ask if she's had breakfast as she's actually broken the head of her femur and needs emergency surgery. Multiple pins later, she's out of pain for the first time in at least 8 months.

Now, she's had one hip replacement and is waiting for knee surgery and is nearly immobile in her 60s because she'll be waiting at least 18 months on the NHS in Scotland. Grrrr.

At least she now has an agreement from the specialists that if there's any suspicion she has a broken bone, she's to have a scan as well as an xray because of so many misdiagnoses in the last decade. It is written in BIG LETTERS on her notes and on the screen of all her hospital and GP notes as well.....

Definitely op.
The 2nd night after a planned section (that became complex when it appeared my uterus and bladder had kindly fused together) I was in the most pain I'd ever been in in my life.

My insides were on fire. But I sat on the edge of the bed hunched and silent because I couldn't move, I stayed there for 12 hours. Each time it was someone different who came in to tell me there was nothing wrong and it was wind. The only person who showed me care was a lovely health care assistant who left in the evening and came back in the morning, she commented it looked like I hadn't moved. I told her I hadn't.

Reader, it was not wind. The surgeon hadn't cleaned my insides out properly and the amniotic fluid was irritating the hell out of my abdominal cavity. Found that out the next afternoon when the surgeon came back to sheepishly tell me after noting I'd been readmitted.