To encourage you to really cry out/scream if you're in pain!

[foldingcares]

And you're in hospital.

If your pain is really bad, and you think something is wrong, cry out. Scream even.

I am on Day 4 post removal of part of my intestine after it was removed due to intestinal blockage. It could've killed me. I was in agony on arrival, the pain was like waves, and I made this really clear but I was calm. I manage pain by deep breathing and focusing on my breaths

Surgeon apologised and said things could've been different but we didn't know you were in such a bad way they only knew when it turned septic.

See also, delivery of my DD. Upon arrival, 3rd baby, I'm going to deliver soon.

Midwife 'are you sure? Okay well we will examine you. I'm just going to do some stuff and I'll be back soon'

I said I need to push. Oh are you sure? Are you sure you're ready? You don't seem to be

Left the room again. DD was caught by H at the side of the bed. He pressed the emergency buzzer and she was already crying by the time they ran in

I wouldn't be able to. I'm autistic and don't express pain in the way others do. I presented to A&E with a gallbladder attack, in agony, dripping with sweat and a high pulse and BP. I was told to wait in the waiting room alongside the drunks and broken fingernail crowd. I was there for four hours and had to go home where I overdosed on pain relief and sedatives. At least the pain subsided somewhat. It later transpired I had pancreatitis.

Not my experience at the scene of an accident either. The two teenagers who had driven into me were screaming hysterically and both got airlifted to the major trauma centre. I later learned their worst injury was a broken wrist. I was calm quiet and cooperative, got left sitting on a freezing cold verge for hours with a student paramedic until I was taken by to a small local hospital "for a quick check before you go home". Fortunately they spotted my life threatening injuries at that point.
If I'm ever in that situation again I'm going to try screaming.

I'm the same as you, I go into myself when I'm in pain. I was really ill a while back, I knew I was really ill, I'm not prone to dramatics, it wasn't until they got my blood results back that they went shit you are really ill. It went from them casually strolling around to full on dramatics in minutes, nurses pulling off my clothes to get me into surgery. I'm grateful that they caught it on time but I do wish they would have actually listened to me more, it ended up being quite traumatic but if they would have acted sooner I feel some of the interventions could have been prevented.

The labour ones always amaze me. As if you can't possible tell when the baby is coming. My mum (also the silent calm type) was in a labour ward with 5 women who were waiting until they were closer to delivery before being moved to a suite. My mum (who was alone) pressed her buzzer several times and after 15 minutes had to ask someone else's husband to go get a midwife. When a trainee midwife came she said "the baby's coming now". The midwife asked if she was sure and my mum said "the heads already out". She was about to go find help but my mum told her it was too late. The midwife drew the curtains and as she lifted up my mums gown the rest of me came out. The sheer fright on the midwife's face stopped my mum being annoyed and it's turned into a funny story. She found out as we were leaving that it was the midwife's first unattended delivery and she'd only be there 3 weeks.

For baby number 4 they were going to send her to the labour ward. My mum told them there wasn't time and they tried to brush her off. She had to remind the midwives of what had happened last time before they took her seriously.

I also had this experience during childbirth OP, and also after childbirth where I had a dural headache caused by loss of spinal fluid after the epidural punctured the wrong membrane.

After 24 hours of intense agony and inability to sit up in bed (whilst trying to get breastfeeding going) I googled the symptoms of dural headache myself and reeled them off to them and finally they started treating me with a blood patch procedure.

Apparently I didn't look like I was in enough pain for them to have realised all my spinal fluid was leaking out.

I’m a HCP, honestly, sometimes it’s really difficult to tell who is genuinely in a lot of pain, I’ve had patients tell me they’re in 10/10 pain and they look completely fine (talking in full sentences, walking with no issues, no sweating or shaking etc) and there’s nothing wrong with them, then I’ve had other patients complain they were in agony during a procedure, but they didn’t say a word.

The ONLY time I've screamed in hospital I was told not to make a fuss, had a@ note querying if i was attention seeking. I was seriously ill. I definitely dont recommended it.

I have a feeling that one of the reasons I got my gallbladder removed so quickly was the noise I was making in A&E. I'm usually pretty stoical but I genuinely could not breathe without it hurting, every time I took a breath in I moaned and I could not stop it. When asked to rate the pain I said "If someone put a gun to my head and offered to shoot me I'd have said yes."
I'm sure I annoyed everyone in A&E but I genuinely couldn't help the noise.

Oh gosh this is definitely a thing!!
I deal with pain by going completely silent and zoning out but I've had doctors say to me in the past "it isn't serious or you'd be screaming and writhing"
The thing is, sometimes screaming and writhing take more energy than you actually have.

Op I'm so sorry for you! I've suffered intestinal obstruction too and the pain is excruciating.

Completely agree about being vocal about pain, women have a much higher pain threshold but even with pain ratings medical staff aren't good at responding too pain unless it's visceral.

Given how dangerous obstructions are, should I ever have another I won't hold back!

I had a blood clot in my lung. After 5 days of not being able to sit, lay down or breathe properly I went to the hospital and was told that I didn't look to be in enough pain for any pain killers.

After a CT scan I was then told it was just a small clot so it shouldn't be causing these issues and everybody gets small clots.

I was called back a year later by the consultant who formally apologised as they didn't give me enough dye to determine the size of the clot.

I should have screamed and cried and maybe I'd have been taken seriously.

100% agree with this! Sadly crying also has to be employed sometimes - that works too.

This happened to me twice….once broken elbow and once a broken foot in 3 metatarsals
the foot has caused me long term pain as it took 16 weeks for them to take me seriously before finally putting it in a boot. And then it took ages to heal …out of alignment

then I tore my Achilles’ tendon 12 months ago. Not taken seriously by hospital. Told as I was walking it was just sprained . Said I had heard it pop and sharp pain like a hammer. Nope. Eventually went private after 5 months. Even with private they still didn’t disable it or do anything…just told me at my age there wasn’t a lot they could do and didn’t think an operation would be effective. I still can’t walk without pain. I have put on a lot of weight and miss being able to walk. Was basically told that was how it was going to be for rest of my life …take painkillers …I’m not even 60 yet.

🤬

@SeaToSki that’s a brilliant question!

Blimey yes it is painful. I was on a waiting list and had to travel with work into Spain a lot. I had one horrendous flight home when I got an attack and I was literally moaning-and groaning in my seat….luckily back then they didn’t have all the fitness to fly checks…but the guy next to me looked terrified as if I was about to die on him. I capped it off by crying during decent …it was that painful and I couldn’t move with belt on to get any relief.
went back to GP following day and described that it wasn’t fun travelling for work dealing with it…he magically got me moved up waiting list and op done within the month.

You could just are about all your patients. You are not paramedics attending an RTA. You are nurses who are meant ro give care without prejudice

It is very scary, one of dd’s disabilities involves her falling many times and I worry about broken bones or hairline fractures going unnoticed.
It’s was especially hard when dd was non verbal but even now she isn’t, she’s still not great at expressing/explains pain or her feeling poorly. You have my sympathy op.

@foldingcares I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I had what I think was probably a similar experience with a perforated intestine. They took it seriously but it was clear they were not getting just how much pain I was in. With me it wasn't because I was calm, more because coping with the pain was taking all my concentration and I just didn't have capacity for anything else. I found the recovery tough and I think I did suffer a form of PTSD too.

I would add that they wouldn't send an emergency ambulance because pain itself is not considered a red flag symptom. I can understand why, but I don't think i will ever entirely forgive the ambulance service for making me beg a lift to A&E from someone whose car had no suspension and who didn't even know the way to the hospital, while i bled out via my intestine.

I got told to stop making a noise and that it was my own fault for not having eaten lunch earlier in the day when I had a twisted fallopian tube that they left me in a waiting room for five hours with so I wouldn't recommend being noisy as a course of action in terms of getting decent treatment. Maybe move to Spain or somewhere similar with a health system that works.

I have also had this, a closed loop obstruction (where the bowel twists on itself causing the middle bit to die) and told them the pain was a ten, still it took them a while in the hospital and they were pondering about 'a UTI' until thankfully they felt my tummy and there was a lump...otherwise think would not have got a CT promptly and surgery first thing on a Saturday morning to remove a metre of it :-(

I have PTSD after multiple small bowel obstructions and surgeries..I feel for you and with pregnancy as well..hope you feel better soon

Well I screamed through every single one of my contractions (except 2!) when in labour and I was completely ignored so not sure that screaming will make a difference. In fact studies have shown that women (and black people) are often ignored (or under medicated) when in pain and not give pain relief that for example a white male would be given. The assumption, I assume is that you are a hysterical women if screaming in pain, or in your case, fine as you are not screaming in pain. I don't think you win either way!

I agree OP.
My dc nearly died from a prolapsed cord on a breach dc.
The excuse for leaving me labour with DT's on a maternity ward unchecked?
"You weren't making any noises we didn't think you could be in established labour"
Despite DH asking for help several times because I told him I was in a lot pain.
I'm telling my dd to scream the bloody hospital down.

Women, particularly women in labour, can't get it "right" for hcps. With my first, I couldn't even talk as the pain was so bad, I was induced via drip and was having constant contractions in my back. I managed to say "need to push" and they said I wasn't in pain enough to be close to pushing. Then when his head was being born I let out a tiny noise (I'd been very conscious not to make noises of pain as I'd watched one born every minute and women seemed to be chastised or painted as drama queens for screaming). Well, as soon as the tiny noise came out the midwife quickly said "there's no need to scream you're just wasting energy".

The way labouring women's pain is treated is appalling. And women in general take much longer to receive pain relief than men.

With DS1 I arrived at hospital screaming my head off. I was told to 'calm down and take a seat' because I was 'disturbing everyone'. Thank god I am not the shy and retiring type, so I ignored that and they grudgingly got me a cubicle to be checked out. I pulled my pants down and there was a flood of blood, I was 10cm dilated and my baby was in distress.

Luckily I was whisked away and although the was born very quickly, it was alright in the end. But I wasn't screaming for nothing, and they should have taken me seriously straight away.

Women are always always terrified of 'making a fuss' or a scene, but sometimes it's the only way to be heard.