To wonder why people on here have suddenly become so horrible to each other?!

[whyyougottabeanonymous]

I have been following a few different threads over the last couple of weeks and one thing that has really stood out to me is how people on here speak to and treat eachother!

I know we have always had a few regular antagonists but it seems like on the majority of posts people are being completely torn to shreds over things, being put down, being called names.

Since when did mumsnet become like this?!

I think it is such a shame to have some a toxic and negative environment being created by some of the users on here when people come on here to genuinely ask for help at times.

I have to say that I don't see that. I think this is a very supportive and honest space. There's no performative validation like there is on other fourms and aggregators. People are honest but generally try to be so in a constructive way. Obviously you get a handful who are rude or aggressive but it's not the majority and they more obtuse ones do get called out or challenged.

I'd much rather have that than, say, Reddit, where people post their problems and just get hugboxed and lied to, it's not helpful. The world can be a harsh place and we're all big girls on this site. I'd like to think that if I were ever to post a problem I'd want honest responses, not handholding. And I'd be free to discard or use the advice as Isaw fit. It's coming from strangers after all, and should be valued as such. I'd never act purely on the advice or opinions of a stranger on a forum, so why would rather blunt or forthright opinions from a stranger bother me?

The majority of users on this site are women and in my experience women often get described as rude and aggressive for expressing thoughts that in men would simply be seen as blunt or forthright.

I think you probably deserve to be sworn at if that's your opinion of people tbf.

Charming.

It’s easy to hide behind a screen/ keyboard. Some people don’t think about the consequences of what they say because they aren’t face to face and can’t be tracked

I disagree. MN is all #BeKind compared to what it once was, I've not witnessed a good flaming for yonks.

Hope this is a sarcastic post.

This is my refuge from Twitter and Whatsapp where even old friends have started snapping at me. I don't care much if anon posters snap. Overall I think we are all very tetchy after the pandemic and with the cost of living crisis.

I often notice that the first few comments can often set the tone of the thread. If someone has had a relatively extreme reaction to an OP at the beginning of the thread, others will often follow.

I don’t think it’s suddenly, there are a lot of horrible people on here. You come on to offer your opinion, then it gets torn to threads by people who go out of their way to show you how wrong you are.
I use the hide button a lot.

I agree it is not sudden, there have been unpleasant 'keyboard warriors' on here for as long as I can recall.

It's really not changed.
Most posts are and always have been fine.

I don't think most people are horrible. Some people say nasty things, but on the other hand I think people come here to post to get the honest to goodness feedback they just wouldn't get face to face.
I also think you need to take what some posters say with a big old pinch of salt

Suddenly?

I just wonder the reason behind it though? Does it make people feel better about themselves? Jealously? Just not very nice people in real life?

It honestly just seems like such a shame that the highlight of someone’s day might be to come on here and do that to someone else

People who've been here a while will be much more 'robust' in AIBU but in the other topics will moderate their replies. (Not feminism though that's been made fighty now)
If you've a sensitive side or a more serious subject Chat is better or a specialised topic.
Newer people tend to read AIBU and plop like that in any topic.

yes I've definitely noticed this too. I've been on MN for around 10 years now and have definitely noticed a change in the last few months in how people are to each other. lots of nastiness and not the support there once was. much preferred MN a few years ago when It was a much smaller community. I also think there as been a huge rise in false threads probably started to antagonise people. I have noticed a rise in these threads having to be deleted.

@MayorDusty that’s a good point

Suddenly? Definitely not.
Mnet has always been a place with strong views that sometimes cause heated conversation and some mud slinging.
As much as it is a place of support, humor, educational discussion.

Agree with this. You'll often get pages and pages of people mainly just saying same thing

Really want this to start a chain reaction of quote tweets saying same thing 😂

Witnessed this yesterday when a MAN asked advice about financial support for his wife who was leaving him and his 2 children and he was basically being accussed of being nasty to his wife, controlling and unfair to what he thought was a suitable figure it was disgusting I actually felt sorry for the poor man

The 2 children where staying with the father in the family home and the wife was leaving not because she was being forced to but she wanted to

I think AIBU has always been like this. Much less so on other boards.