To wonder why people on here have suddenly become so horrible to each other?!

[whyyougottabeanonymous]

I have been following a few different threads over the last couple of weeks and one thing that has really stood out to me is how people on here speak to and treat eachother!

I know we have always had a few regular antagonists but it seems like on the majority of posts people are being completely torn to shreds over things, being put down, being called names.

Since when did mumsnet become like this?!

I think it is such a shame to have some a toxic and negative environment being created by some of the users on here when people come on here to genuinely ask for help at times.

@abblie oh god how awful, I must have missed this somehow, but I hope that poor guy got some good advice in the end even if from a couple of people 😢

You are right OP, l tend to give my own opinion and move on to something else, I' m not in the least interested if it is met with approval or not. There is a group on here that hide behind a certain label and are fond of forcing their own biased, aggresive opinions down peoples throats, quite laughable the irony of it all, they tar half of the worlds population with one brush yet are meant to stand for justice and equality.

I've noticed this too, seems to be a lot of premature judgements being made about people.

Jealousy? In what context?

And I don't think MN would be improved by an increase in "hun"ing and "you ok babe?" type replies.

Mumsnet - or at least AIBU - has been exactly like this for as long as I've been posting - which is about 15 years now.

Yabu - MN has been like it for years.

I think tetchy is the perfect word. I'm tetchy and I think lots of people I know are tetchy. It means I'll probably say what I think quite bluntly at times, because I just don't have the patience. (I would never lie or deliberately try to upset someone though, but if they ask for my opinion I might just give it...)

I agree OP but it's not sudden. While there are lots of supportive, helpful people on MN there are also a lot who could cause a fight in an empty house. Lots of opinionated folk who dismiss anyone else's point of view often quite aggressively. On many threads/ boards there seems to be a party line and if you don't tow it you'll soon know all about it.

I don’t mind disagreement but threads where majority pile up on one or two posters I tend to avoid

It has always been thus.
When I joined yonks ago and was in need for some advice as PFB had to be evacuated via sunroof, I was told I was unfit to have a child, that child will hate me, that I should've never be allowed to have a child in the first place and to top it up, a poster called Pink Baby Elephant told me she hoped I would die.
Charming.

The majority of users on this site are women and in my experience women often get described as rude and aggressive for expressing thoughts that in men would simply be seen as blunt or forthright

I agree with this.

I think some people make personal and nasty remarks (which are also totally unhelpful) and I call them out on occasion when I can be bothered. For example the "you must be a nasty person" type. Yeah really constructive and helpful. Go away.

But disagreeing with someone is not being nasty. We are allowed to have different opinions.

If you Google, mumsnet has been referred to as a 'nest of vipers' since 2008....

I've ben tetchy (that IS a good word) on here in the past few days because a few people have posted nonsense (the stupid thread about going to live in Syria of all places with a dd who was about to start her GCSEs for example - it unsurprisingly got zapped). That is just annoying. Usually I just scroll by but sometimes I get sucked in eg with the person who thought that a thread should be deleted because she didn't agree with it. No, if you don't agree, you disagree on the thread or you don't bother engaging with it at all.

Another one saying it’s always been like this. That’s why I joined, because there’s less sycophantic behaviour and when people are being ridiculous they’ll get told to get a grip which is very refreshing.

I’ve been told to get a grip a few times, sometimes deservedly so and sometimes not. But it’s good to reflect.

I've noticed there's 2 groups that MN hates, first prize is men and a close second is step mothers. They are always at fault. Reverse the exact situation and the reaction is the opposite.

I agree OP but it's been like that since I've been on here (around a year or so).

I'd say a good proportion of the posters are absolute goady twats tbf. I've found that regularly when someone posts, no matter what it is they're always told they are 'unhinged, a drama queen, hard work'. It really fucks me off especially if the person posting isn't in a good place. There are people in life that just enjoy picking on others, and probably most wouldn't have the balls to do it in real life so they do it here.

You definitely know how a thread is going to go if one of the first posters is one of MN's resident bastards. The usual suspects pop up on nearly every thread.

I first posted on Mumsnet in about 2009. I got repeatedly ripped to pieces on a thread I started about an issue with DDs teacher. I abandoned the account and didn't come back on here for a few years!

So maybe not a new issue. I actually like the blunt and to the point posts. I just can't stand posters repeating what has been said a hundred times over. OPs try and explain themselves but there will still be people commenting who have only read the OP and just continue to pile on.

Tetchy is an excellent word but what I've noticed more is the people who give women a really hard time and say they'd never treat their DH's so badly, and yet, despite a girly user name like Fluffybunny55 I have a sneaking feeling that they might be men? If I'm right maybe they think they can sway us all so the Op changes their mind.

I may be overthinking this, and if there is a women posting as FluffyBunny55- my apologies!

I don't agree that MN has suddenly become nasty though. It's always been like this.

This type of thread pops up every few months and has done for many years.

There are plenty of easy going threads for browsing avoiding the controversial threads.

Oh there we go, the vast majority of people on Mumsnet getting their arses handed to them fairly or unfairly are women but when it happens to a man it's just so much more awful, apparently.

AIBU has always been spiky on certain threads definitely. I have had my arse handed to me a good few times, possibly deserved for stupidity-but sometimes when you have young children and are sleep deprived, your brain is foggy and common sense doesn't always prevail. I think that makes it worse because you take comments personally because you are basically knackered, broken and just want someone to be kind. That doesn't always happen, especially on AIBU.

You can definitely see the way a thread is going to go sometimes. Even when there should be a grey area, for some posters it is all black and white. I like the straight talking and you very occasionally can get a really good, intelligent and insightful discussion going. Unfortunately, I think some people do post on here to have an argument, for reasons I don't fully understand.

Thick skin definitely needed for AIBU.

I think it’s worse since AIBU which is an invitation for an opposing view and so seems to be a free for all. It’s also frequently in trending so some pp might not read many other threads.

Keyboard warriors and people projecting or not reading the post properly. Then there’s the pile on once the tone is set.

Then there’s the pp who forget or don’t check that they are not actually on AIBU.

It use to be that aibu was the bear pit but recently other boards which were normally more chilled have taken on the same tone with cynical mis-readings and misrepresentations for argumentative effect.