DH doesn't want me to mention DS "dad"

[babyneversleeps]

DS is 5 now and I have always told him he has another dad and sometimes I will mention it to see how he feels. Today he told me he would like to meet him when he's a bit older.

DH over heard it and became upset and said that I'm not his feelings into account and why do I keep mentioning it when his "sperm donor" doesn't even care about him. Which is probably true!

He has met him twice when he was a baby and that was it he stopped bothering once he realised he couldn't just sleep with me anymore and then I met DH when DS was 7 months old.

AIBU? should I never mention it again. I kind of think DH needs to put his feelings to a side as it's not about him and I want to be open with DS as much as possible.

@SpidersAreShitheads

Re-read your post and sounds like you've managed to create a good situation all round.

Oh dear. No, @GregAdams1 I never once called my birth father "Dad" and never will. I met him once in my life, for about 15 minutes. My step/adoptive father was my Dad.

You sound extremely angry and bitter and although there may be reasons for that, you are hardly helping the OP.

I think it depends how your mentioning it. Are yo u in contact? If DS says actually I want to see Daddy John, can you even attempt that or or do you not even know where he is?

Your DH might be wrong but I can see why it hurts him so I'd be gentle with that. He's loved him and raised him, he doesn't want to have to contend with real Dad comments constantly, he needs understanding when being put right

You are doing exactly the right thing.

A lot of really naive takes here.

Not being open and honest is a recipe for resentment and mistrust the minute it all comes out, which it sure as shit will.

@GregAdams1 I've never called my biological father dad and I never will. He left when I was 3, I put in the effort to meet him at 15 and haven't seen him since I was 17 and I'm late 30s now. He lives local to me and I have zero interest. Zilch. I've ignored him in the street as he's just a stranger. I have half siblings and will refer to him as their dad. He's not mine we have no connection. My god father is like my dad. I don't call him dad but god I love him and do wish him a happy fathers day. He was there when I fell over, was sad and just needed a hug. A dad isn't blood.

@GregAdams1 I think you've posted here by mistake.

Your incel pals are waiting for you on the red pill boards over here >>>

OP didn't say anything about biological father being completely missing.
Apart from in her first post, where she states very clearly that the bio dad met his son twice as a baby, but has not seen him since. Not sure how you managed to miss that.

Also OP mentioned something about biological father wanting to have sex prior to abandonment ( allegedly) What it looks like is that OPs sons father is alive and probably not far away.
How does it look like that? Where are you getting that invention story from?

It also seems that his contact with the child could gradually be re-established. What problem OP has is that she feels a bit guilty of watching her son knowing that reasons for this bs are not really legitimate and at the same time tries find reason to justify her approach to it , hence story about abuse and sex.
Eh? You are coming across as a bit mad. Could you try this again, with logic?

OP wants to keep her new relationship uninterrupted, hoping that everything is going to be ok
OP's relationship will be just fine, whether the bio dad ever shows his face or not.
She has no need to 'hope', & can manage suitable contact - & her son's feelings - if & when it happens.

Another thing is ,OP needs to call biological father and see where he stands when it comes to seeing his son.
She already knows. He has not seen his child for 4 - 5 years.
It's not her job to chase the child-abandoner.

If he wants contact with his child then step daddy needs to back off.
Step daddy doesn't 'need' to do your, or the child-abandoner's bidding.

He will back off and still gladly do his step daddy/boyfriend chores with smile on his face. Don't u worry lol those guys have no standards they will do anything for access to some cuch . After all he went after a woman with newborn bwahahahaha
You are a very strange little man @GregAdams1
I hope you are getting the psychological intervention you need.