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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To care that my children’s great grandparents were first cousins?

303 replies

Antipoodean · 21/05/2022 21:12

Not particularly unusual perhaps, but I come from a very diverse gene pool myself (different hemispheres). I only learnt that my MIL’s parents were first cousins after we had children. Would this bother you? My dcs are healthy and I am not worried about them, I’d have had them
with the knowledge, it’s just a bit disconcerting.

OP posts:
romdowa · 21/05/2022 21:13

No I wouldn't really see it as any of my business personally

AssignedSlytherinAtBirth · 21/05/2022 21:14

It was quite normal back.in the day, and it's perfectly legal here in the UK. What are you worried about?

MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 21/05/2022 21:14

Your kids' gene pool will be sufficiently diverse so no need to worry on that front. It is icky (to most people) to think of first cousins being sexually attracted to one another though. But it was their choice and they've done nothing illegal so I'd keep my thoughts to myself.

godmum56 · 21/05/2022 21:15

what can you do about it?

Throwawaytoday · 21/05/2022 21:15

The children of first cousins are supposedly less likely to suffer from hereditary conditions than the children of second cousins.

Marrying your cousin was perfectly normal until recent generations.

I don't see what difference it makes to you or your life.

LicoricePizza · 21/05/2022 21:16

Was it quite normal??

Lockheart · 21/05/2022 21:16

Lots of people will be the same, and there's nothing you can do about it in any event. There is no point worrying about it.

WeOnlyTalkAboutBruno · 21/05/2022 21:16

I mean…feel free to waste your energy “caring” about it if you like. But there’s not exactly much you can do about it 😕

Lockheart · 21/05/2022 21:17

LicoricePizza · 21/05/2022 21:16

Was it quite normal??

Yes. And it's still legal in the UK to marry a first cousin.

Hankunamatata · 21/05/2022 21:18

Wasnt it normal in their generation? According Google it only became illegal in 1980s. Wasnt it always proffered way of more wealthy families to keep money in the family?
No it wouldn't bother me

HamCob · 21/05/2022 21:19

Sounds like an excuse to have a dig at your MIL to be honest... mean what exactly do you want her to do about it? 🤷🏼‍♀️

balalake · 21/05/2022 21:20

It was not unusual, not confined to the Fens or parts of the U.S. Queen Victoria and Prince Albert, for example.

Original poster
Antipoodean · 21/05/2022 21:22

There’s nothing I can do about it. I’m not worried about it. I said I’d have had them if I knew… it is a bit ick to me though, I won’t lie. Just trying to gauge whether it’s common.

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 21/05/2022 21:22

Hankunamatata · 21/05/2022 21:18

Wasnt it normal in their generation? According Google it only became illegal in 1980s. Wasnt it always proffered way of more wealthy families to keep money in the family?
No it wouldn't bother me

it is still legal to marry a first cousin in the UK

x2boys · 21/05/2022 21:25

If you had generation ,s of first cousins.marrying first cousins I could understand your concern but your child's great grandparents ?
As a one off no .

AwkwardPaws27 · 21/05/2022 21:26

My great great grandparents were first cousins - it was quite common. Sadly their daughter (my great grandmother) had a heart condition & epilepsy, & died in her early 30s. Having half a dozen children probably didn't help.
None of her descendants have had any serious heart conditions, & there was only one other familial case of epilepsy.

LicoricePizza · 21/05/2022 21:26

I find it a bit ick too OP

Original poster
Antipoodean · 21/05/2022 21:27

HamCob · 21/05/2022 21:19

Sounds like an excuse to have a dig at your MIL to be honest... mean what exactly do you want her to do about it? 🤷🏼‍♀️

How on earth is it me having a go at my MIL? She had no say in the matter! She’s also healthy and beautiful.

OP posts:
Original poster
Antipoodean · 21/05/2022 21:28

LicoricePizza · 21/05/2022 21:26

I find it a bit ick too OP

Thank you!

OP posts:
TheOriginalEmu · 21/05/2022 21:28

I don’t see what’s ‘ick’ about it. I have first cousins I barely know OF, let one know well.

MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 21/05/2022 21:30

TheOriginalEmu · 21/05/2022 21:28

I don’t see what’s ‘ick’ about it. I have first cousins I barely know OF, let one know well.

would you not think 'ick' if your child started having sex with your sibling's child?

orwellwasright · 21/05/2022 21:31

Well, it's perfectly legal for your children's parents to be first cousins so I wouldn't worry too much.

OwlinaTree · 21/05/2022 21:33

Good chance my grandparents are cousins - long story! They didn't know that though.

TheFairyNamedMary · 21/05/2022 21:34

Not illegal, no direct blood line.
why does it bother you, it’s not your decision who should marry who

Mumoftwoinprimary · 21/05/2022 21:34

My great grandparents were first cousins. And there was significant other intermarriage in further back parts of the family tree.

It is not a big deal really - just what happened in upper class England back in the early 19th century. It vaguely interests me (for example - if a geneticist was to look at my DNA is there something in it that would show the inter marriage or not?) I don’t think my brother ever thinks of it.

For the record I am ridiculously healthy (I can’t tell you when my last sick day from work was - maybe 2016 or 2017 - and I’m not a martyr type!) and me and my brother have 8 grade As at A level between us….