To care that my children’s great grandparents were first cousins?

[Antipoodean]

Not particularly unusual perhaps, but I come from a very diverse gene pool myself (different hemispheres). I only learnt that my MIL’s parents were first cousins after we had children. Would this bother you? My dcs are healthy and I am not worried about them, I’d have had them
with the knowledge, it’s just a bit disconcerting.

It wasn't normal or common and it didn't often happen unless your ancestors were members of the aristocracy.

By the 1960s only about 1 in 25,000 London area middle class marriages were between first cousins. In some UK South Asian populations it is much more common than among what is termed white British/white other populations.
newhumanist.org.uk/articles/2133/kissing-cousins

The RC church banned consanguinity in varying degrees beginning around 500 CE, and continues to ban direct line marriages (people directly descended from each other) as well as collateral marriages within four degrees, so no first cousin marriage.

@Antipoodean I share your feeling of ick.

There are some interesting ideas around consanguinity here -
news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2019/11/roman-catholic-church-ban-in-the-middle-ages-loosened-family-ties/
basically suggesting that the RC ban had a psychological effect that spurred the development of the western frame of mind.

Ha ha. look at the royal family. Thank God for Kate and Meghan is all I can say 🤣

Oh yes indeed

I absolutely don't get the 'ick' at all.

I would be delighted if my Niece were to become my daughter in law. How wonderful that would be. My sister and I would share grandchildren.

I remember someone I worked with long ago planning her daughters wedding and the groom was her nephew. It was going to be a very small gathering as it was only one extended family.

I congratulated her on what would be an incredibly easy wedding and to look forward to sharing grandchildren with her sister. She adored her nephew.

this post gives me the ick

It's not illegal?

After the Reformation the law was relaxed in England but while not illegal it remained an unusual occurrence.

Wasnt it normal in their generation? According Google it only became illegal in 1980s. Wasnt it always proffered way of more wealthy families to keep money in the family?
No it absolutely wasn't normal. Some famous people's families did it (Victoria and Albert, Charles Darwin's mother's family, the Wedgewoods) and it was more common among the aristocracy than among the general population up to WW1, when it faded out.

Years ago people had 6 plus children sometimes 13 ish so
Then there siblings of which there were many may of had the same so many wouldn't of known their cousins very well and not grew up with them like cousins now

I think my great grand parents may have been related with the same surname. Exhaustive genealogical researches have never uncovered another maiden name. I think this is a really minor concern though. They're hardly the Hapsburgs are they?

But I'm wondering if people who think it's fine would be so accepting of it in the next generation i.e their children

Me too @MurderAtTheBeautyPageant

Genuine question - anyone?

Rather hard for me to say. There is a shortage of girl cousins for a start as they're all boys. There are two girl half cousins though. I can't imagine them getting married to each other because of widely disparate ages and interests.

Boys can marry each other too!

I wouldn't be happy if my DS decided to marry his cousin.

But when it concerns other people, I don't have a strong reaction. I had a school friend whose parents are cousins, and when I found out I thought "eww I wouldn't marry my cousin!" but I didn't find it disconcerting that other people did. I realise it's different when it's your own family, but I don't think it would bother me that far back.

As for my own family tree... there are a lot worse things in it than cousin marriage

I have a close relative who married their first cousin (on other side from mine). They were unlucky in that they did each have a recessive gene for a congenital condition, and some of their children (they have 8!) have it.

I'm not sure about such marriages being illegal since the 80s as a poster has said, as they were married in the early 90s their cousinship was in no way a secret.

I can see the point in having blood tests if you are consanguineous (?) before having children like they do in the US, but I'm not sure how much of a fail-safe that is.

My cousins are lovely and not at all 'icky'

Yabu, aren't you several decades too late to do anything about it

I’m blown away by how so many people on here know others who have - maybe I’ve been living under a rock. I’m going to do some digging now & I might just be surprised!

There are more societies that have allowed or even encouraged first cousin marriages than not, historically.

The fact that someone's great grandparents were first cousins is really totally irrelevant to them today, it's going to make zero difference. We have eight of them after all.

It’s perfectly OK to find it ‘ick’.

You make your peace with it and move on.

I can stone cold guarantee that there will be things we do now that people in 2 or 3 generations will find ‘ick’ as hell.

People are really overstating the genetic risk. One off cousins marrying will have the same odds of healthy children as anyone else.

Everyone will have something like this somewhere in their family tree, even you OP if you go back far enough. Not to mention that not everyone's parents are who they actually think they are...

I grew up on a different continent to my cousins and only met them as adults so I don't have that instinctive 'ick' for the very idea of a relationship (i.e. like the idea of siblings). Not remotely interested in them like that though.

If you go back far enough everyone's related.

I asked my geneticist about this and, first generation of cousins interbreeding has almost zero negative effect. After that, however, the genetic problems start piling up - visible in the Pakistani community and the Royal families of Europe over the ages.
So a one off is fine, but encourage your children to marry out of the family gene pool 😉

It's not illegal now. Never been illegal in England as far as I know.

My great grandparents were 1st cousins too. Only found out when I did that part of the family tree 25 years ago.

I do find the thought disgusting and I don’t think you’re unreasonable to be a bit unsettled by it. But you can’t change it. And the practice does cause genetic problems in some communities but only where it happens over and over again, so I don’t think you need to worry from a genetic point of view. It could also be true of any of us without us knowing - I would have absolutely no idea if any of my G-GPs were cousins.

It's not illegal now. Never been illegal in England as far as I know.

its not illegal in U.K. to marry a cousin and about 4% of royalty and aristocratic families have been doing this for centuries, it’s not been illegal for centuries if it ever was

Result of interbreeding in European royal family

@LicoricePizza Boys can marry each other too!

The big problem with cousins marrying each other is the genetic impact on the children. If you have two boys marrying each other (or two girls) then that goes away…..