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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not cater for this

281 replies

Just1moreq · 21/05/2022 12:35

I'm cooking for 10 tonight. 5 couples, in the group there is someone who has a nut allergy and someone who has cealiocs (I've never figured the spelling) one of the pairs have just called to say that they are doing vegan weekends to reduce their carbon impact.... They are just checking that somethung tonight will be suitable... I've said it wont but that they are more than welcome to bring stuff. ... Am I being an unreasonable arse?

OP posts:
FingersofFish · 21/05/2022 14:12

Argh. So annoying. Why wouldn't they have said before or just sucked it up?! I had a child come to a birthday party once with a nut allergy and didn't tell me til the day, nothing was suitable for her and I felt awful as she basics ended up with a pack of jaffa cakes. Surely you can't just expect people to cater for needs if they don't know?

Fraaahnces · 21/05/2022 14:16

My DS and I both have different food allergies. I always let people know in advance that we are total nightmares to cater for, and ask if I can please bring food so they’re not stressed out. (I can also relax knowing that nothing has accidentally snuck in.)

Katyaadlerscoat · 21/05/2022 14:18

They'll just ruin the vibe if they do turn up. I'd text back and say 'on second thoughts, let's leave it for tonight and we'll see you next time' then never invite them again.

knittingaddict · 21/05/2022 14:19

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Oh my goodness. Are you for real? A bit of self awareness please. 😀

aridapricot · 21/05/2022 14:21

I eat a low-carb diet, which I only skip on a Saturday. If I am invited to a dinner say on a Thursday or Friday, I make that my "high carb day" of that week and just eat my normal stuff on a Saturday. I would never ever dream of imposing this on other people, let alone at 6 hours notice.

SeedyBloomer · 21/05/2022 14:21

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What a ridiculous and dramatic comment. How is this anything to do with compassion? OP is already catering for two dietary requirements. Letting the host now that there is another one on the same day as the event is rude from the guest, not OP. Many people would have bought the food by now. She’s not running a restaurant.

LIZS · 21/05/2022 14:24

Rude to come up with it last minute. What's stopping them doing vegan Sunday and Monday instead.

Mix56 · 21/05/2022 14:25

They just do Sun & Mon instead.
It ends there

ChairCareOh · 21/05/2022 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

SeedyBloomer · 21/05/2022 14:32

*know

PuppyMonkey · 21/05/2022 14:32

As always, the best response to CF people like this is "lol."

CanofCant · 21/05/2022 14:33

Just1moreq · 21/05/2022 13:51

The meal is tex mex style, so I've already made the main part and the desert. They have said they will come over after we eat. Ive sent them a pic of the wine I got and told them I'm making margaritas, so if they aren't OK with that they will have to bring drinks. 😕

How bloody rude of them! I'd tell them not to bother coming. They sound like total dickheads. They don't deserve your margaritas.

Oldraver · 21/05/2022 14:33

So is that two less for dinner then ? I'll have their Margarita's.

Bet the dont turn down non vegan booze

SpindleInTheWind · 21/05/2022 14:33

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Early winner 👏

BruceAndNosh · 21/05/2022 14:35

If they are being part time vegans, they can do it Sunday and Monday this week, instead of Saturday Sunday

SpindleInTheWind · 21/05/2022 14:37

BruceAndNosh · 21/05/2022 14:35

If they are being part time vegans, they can do it Sunday and Monday this week, instead of Saturday Sunday

Agreed. They sound like right twats.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/05/2022 14:37

It's one thing being a vegan all of the time, it's totally separate being vegan for a weekend. If they were that serious about it they'd be doing it all the time.

Also telling someone hours in advance is not on.

YANBU OP

SpindleInTheWind · 21/05/2022 14:38

Like you can even do 'vegan weekends' anyway. They mean 'plant-based weekends' and I think the OP should point this out to them, repeatedly, throughout the evening.

Clymene · 21/05/2022 14:41

Rude fuckers. Never invite them again.

Gudbrand · 21/05/2022 14:42

They should have said earlier when first invited.
And as they are only "weekend vegans" to reduce their carbon impact there should be no problem at all in allocating another day this week instead of the day of your meal.

Bordesleyhills · 21/05/2022 14:43

Hmm I wouldn’t be impressed- allergies I can do, intolerances yes but fads... with notice yes and maybe but a few hours hmmm.... driving to you are they... or walking due to carbon footprint. Oh well be nice to see that whatever. Hope it goes well

WombatChocolate · 21/05/2022 14:43

Totally agree this is unreasonable. They can do it some other days that are convenient for them next week, instead of imposing it on you.

As someone with a medical dietary requirement, I always tell people well in advance and then never add any further likes or dislikes but eat whatever I’m given. I don’t want to make it harder than it is already.

These people sound like twats. Honestly, you don’t do this on the day of the event and about something you have chosen to do a couple of days a week and have total control over when you do and don’t do it.

I once had a friend ring on the morning of dinner to tell me she was low carbing and keen not to ruin her diet. I told her what I would be serving and simply said that she was totally free to eat whichever parts she chose. I did not offer to make something else.

People going on diets or selecting food restrictions they don’t require, should either not accept dinner invitations or be prepared to put their choices aside when going out for one night. Hosts are already putting themselves out. Good guests accept happily and unless there’s a medical reason, they consume at least some of what is out in front of them without fuss. It is entitled and princessy to think it’s okay to ring up on the day about some food choices you have opted into, but could just as easily set aside that day.

Blossomtoes · 21/05/2022 14:44

Hope they’re walking to your place because cars play havoc with your carbon footprint. Utterly and completely unreasonable of them.

MustardCress · 21/05/2022 14:45

Utter twats. They could have vegan Monday or any other day instead.

Irishfarmer · 21/05/2022 14:46

I think you answered perfectly.

Have a fantastic night 😁