To not cater for this

[Just1moreq]

I'm cooking for 10 tonight. 5 couples, in the group there is someone who has a nut allergy and someone who has cealiocs (I've never figured the spelling) one of the pairs have just called to say that they are doing vegan weekends to reduce their carbon impact.... They are just checking that somethung tonight will be suitable... I've said it wont but that they are more than welcome to bring stuff. ... Am I being an unreasonable arse?

Def rude to drop that on you at short notice. If they had any common sense they would just shift their 'weekend' by a day surely?

YANBU.

Why didn't tell you before and give you some notice? It's not your problem they aren't proper vegans so it shouldn't really matter surely they can have a vegan day Sunday and Monday instead.

You're not unreasonable in the slightest. They can do their faddy nonsense on their own time. The neck of it!

What's compassionate about being vegan 2 days out of 7?

This is an outrageous request. Fine if they were actually full-time vegans (although it would still be extremely rude to only give you 6 hours of notice) but WEEKEND vegans?!?! Just be vegan on a different day or arrive at your house by pogo stick or something to reduce their carbon footprint.

Good grief, they have essentially rung you a few hours before a meal to say "We're part time vegans and have decided that tonight simply has to be one of the days we are vegan. Go forth and produce something that suits us today". Are they also part-time inflexible knobs or is that a permanent thing?

you are doing the right thing catering for allergies there is no need to cater for someone’s lifestyle choice. You did the right thing.

Thats a fantastic lifestyle choice but something best kept for the privacy of your own home.

I get very tired of people making inhospitable or just plain derisory fusses about other people's ethical dietary choices and for some reasons, it is always vegans who are seen as fair game. That said, it's wholly unreasonable to opt for temporary veganism over a weekend when you are going out to dinner and then wait until 6 hours beforehand to tell your host. So no, YANBU. That said, vegans do just eat food. It's a rare meal that won't include something edible I'd have thought!

Their reasoning makes no sense if they’re going out for a meal. Presumably you’ve already bought the stuff - it’s a sunk cost in terms of carbon - so getting more stuff would only increase their carbon impact?

Yes. Also, I presume they aren't planning to go to OP's house in/on any kind of motor vehicle, considering that they apparently aren't having a 'not travelling anywhere' weekend for the good of the planet....

There would only be vegan food here so it wouldn't be an issue.

However, to let you know just hours beforehand is bad manners. I would expect them to bring their own in the same way I would expect anyone wanting meat here to do.

I feel sorry for you, because you can bet the first hour of conversation will centre around veganism and martyrdom. Suggest a double G&T about half an hour before everyone is due to arrive.

Compassionate? Thoughtless and inconsiderate more like it.

OP YANBU

They're not even bloody vegans!!!

Oh my goodness!!! How annoying!!! Well done you on your response. I wish I thought of it when friends whom we invited over for lunch announced the day before they turned vegan and could there not be anything to tempt their kids!

Where does "compassionate" come into it? Dropping this on the OP at very short notice involves an increase in the 'carbon footprint' caused by having to shop for and cook more food. AND the couple concerned can just shift their vegan tokenism to another day. Can't they?

Tbh I'd be cross but if time allows would zip to Waitrose for a vegan ready meal . I wouldn't cook vegan from scratch with such short notice .

Catering to allergies/coeliac is fine, but you’re under no obligation to cater to someone else’s performative do gooder bullshit, especially when they’ve dumped it on you at the last minute.

Tell them to get a grip or just do vegan Monday/Tuesday instead.

Serve them exactly what you’re serving everyone else, but their portion is raw because you’re saving them the carbon emissions from cooking it.

Oh, and no wine for them because it’s got air miles.

A few hours notice for a dinner party is not long enough. Like the op said, she's more interested in keeping the other guests alive than pandering to a couple who are just being picky.

Where is the compassion in someone who is normally not vegan telling their host on the day they are coming to dinner that they will be vegan on that particular day?
I'm sure the OP would have provided vegan food if they had had the decency to give more than 6 hours notice.

YANBU OP .I think in your situation I'd have told them what elements of the meal are vegan, and ask them to bring whatever else they want to make it a complete meal.

Ha yea totally reasonable to say no, and I say that as a vegan! It's great they're going plant/based two days a week but they should just change the days for one week so it doesn't impact plans that were already made!

Not unreasonable at all.

The meal is tonight.
That is ridiculously short notice.

Excellent response, well done you.

”vegan weekends” is fine, but ridiculous to impose it on your catering. They can just do a vegan Monday to make up for it if they really want to.

In any case it would increase the carbon footprint of the meal as you’d have to get additional things and waste the food you’d already prepared as it was such short notice.

I’d have said yes and given them a bowl of veg 🙄

Why would they not just move the days FFS.