DD school coat found with another DC name !!

[Highfivemum]

So my DD came home from school last year without her school coat. It was three weeks old and had her name on the inside of the coat and also I put her name in the pocket on a label. So two name tags. Went into school regularly spoke to teachers and the coat never was found. She had worn it twice so like new. Fast forward to yesterday and my DD mislaid her jumper. I went to lost property and collected her jumper and saw a school coat in he box. Very worn and dirty with a ripped sleeve. As I always do I looked in the coat and there was another child’s name written in the back but underneath in pale ink you could see my DD name that had been written over. I then checked the pocket and there was my DD name clearly still on a tag. The name of the DC was a boy in the same year as her ( the coats are unisex). I spoke to her teacher and she said oh never mind at least she has her coat back !! I was flabbergasted to be honest. This other mum whose child has been in the same year group since nursery at the school wrote over my DD name and gave her DS the coat to wear. Then left it now as it is ripped and badly worn and I am meant to be pleased. AIBU to feel like she has stolen it. ? I am not sure how to handle this.

It's theft surely.

I would let it go. There really isn’t anything else you can do other than cause a huge fuss and upset for everyone.

Should have said DD is 8 .

Well your not being unreasonable to be pretty pissed off but I’m not what there is to be done about it now.
School are not going to start accusing parents of stealing (several months ago) even if it’s fairly obvious that that is what has happened. You could speak to the parent yourself but be prepared for that not to go down well.
The other parents are cheeky sods so they’re unlikely to own up or be prepared to do anything to put it right!

Can you message the parent and say all of this? I'd be fuming tbh and want them to know I know.

Tell the biggest gossip at the school gates and allow the story to spread. Keep the ruined coat as proof.

There is no point getting into it. You will basically tell her she stole the coat. What will you do next? The police ??? It is a waste of energy. Yes she is a massive cheeky cow but there are many people like this.

I would absolutely say something to the mother that’s stealing and absolute bullshit

So she knew it was you and your daughter and still did it? I would be furious!!! Agree though I’m not sure there is much to be done unless you are happy to fall out over it, I mean she wrote over the tag what the hell???!!!

I feel your pain. Sent DS to school with a brand new school fleece in September. Named on the labels etc. A couple of weeks in he came home with an old fleece with a broken zip with no name on the label.

I asked on the class WhatsApp group for his to be returned and said I'd return the one he had... Tumbleweed

That’s what I think. It isn’t a misunderstanding and they have for the wrong coat. My DD name can be seen underneath. I understand it isn’t first worlds problems but I was disappointed with the teachers response.

How old are the kids? Maybe the boy lost his coat and took your dds without the mum knowing.

Could have been put in the lost & found and she picked it up. People are desperate to make ends meet, maybe the child needed it 🤷🏻‍♀️ not saying she was right to take it and keep it but maybe she didn't have another choice and she thought you wouldn't notice. YANBU but maybe there's more to it than it was taken out of nastiness.

The teacher can't do anything about it, they definitely can't go around accusing people of stealing. But obviously you can bring it up with the other parent if you want to.

I'm not sure I would say anything but I would be bloody furious. My dd had some bright red trainers that went missing and the next day a boy in her class came in wearing them. Told teacher but said there's nothing she can do!

Yes, it’s theft and the other parent is well out of order.

But what do you expect the teacher to do? Tell off the other parent for you!? It’s a year later. Teachers have enough to do, they can hardly be expected to be Miss Marple and examine each child’s coat regularly to check it’s actually theirs!

I'd say something! The person who wrote over your daughters name knew it belonged to her!! To be honest I'd put it on the local Facebook page and ask for it to be replaced. Why is this ok??
I understand children wearing each others clothes BY ACCIDENT but that isn't what has happened here.....

I'd have to say something. She had stolen and then ruined, knowingly, your kids coat. I can understand why the teacher doesn't want to get involved or potentially be accused of "gossiping" about another parent though.
Do you have some form of class communication like a social media messaging group? I think I'd be very tempted to put on a photo of said coat and tell the story without naming names. It's PA but would make me happy that the person knows you know. If you approach her directly she will either deny all knowledge or say it was a genuine mistake. She's going to lie anyway, she wasn't above nicking a kids coat.

If they are 8, it well could be this boy did this without his parents knowing.

8 years old.
yes people are struggling but to blatantly take a coat and write over a child’s name when you have no idea if that child has another coat or could afford another coat to me is so selfish. I don’t know the mum well as my DD is a girly girl so doesn’t have much to do with boys but we do let on in the playground and are always pleasant to each other.

I appreciate the teachers are not their to police And I didn’t expect her to get involved. I am
a teacher myself and I know it is difficult. But it was her attitude that shocked me that was all.

I still haven’t got over my school cardigan going missing a week after I had it. Mum used to knit mine (the shame) but gave in and bought me one. I knew who did it. Nothing happened.

I'd do what someone up thread said. Talk about it loudly at the school gate. With names.

Omg that is terrible.

Talking about it and mentioning names might embarrass the boy, who probably didn't realise!

I wouldn't raise it now if it's been a year.
Just always check she has her belongings after school.