DD school coat found with another DC name !!

[Highfivemum]

So my DD came home from school last year without her school coat. It was three weeks old and had her name on the inside of the coat and also I put her name in the pocket on a label. So two name tags. Went into school regularly spoke to teachers and the coat never was found. She had worn it twice so like new. Fast forward to yesterday and my DD mislaid her jumper. I went to lost property and collected her jumper and saw a school coat in he box. Very worn and dirty with a ripped sleeve. As I always do I looked in the coat and there was another child’s name written in the back but underneath in pale ink you could see my DD name that had been written over. I then checked the pocket and there was my DD name clearly still on a tag. The name of the DC was a boy in the same year as her ( the coats are unisex). I spoke to her teacher and she said oh never mind at least she has her coat back !! I was flabbergasted to be honest. This other mum whose child has been in the same year group since nursery at the school wrote over my DD name and gave her DS the coat to wear. Then left it now as it is ripped and badly worn and I am meant to be pleased. AIBU to feel like she has stolen it. ? I am not sure how to handle this.

Same happened with my DS football gloves in primary school. A few months after he lost them, I found them in lost property with another boy’s name on. However I’d written a second name label hidden inside which still had my DS name on. I got a black marker pen and wrote DS name across the top of each glove so the thief couldn’t do it again.

In the last year of primary DS brought home a pair of (unnamed) trainers identical to his own except 2 sizes bigger than his own....as well as his own trainers. I posted (several times) on the class WhatsApp hoping to find their owner but no one claimed them.

I know you said your DD is a girly girl and doesn't really play with the boy but you see the parent in the playground did you not at any point notice the boy was wearing the coat immediately after your DDs one went missing? As you said it's unisex and you might have thought oh he has the same one but it's a bit of a coincidence then?

Why is it the teachers job to do anything about it?

That's so sad that someone was in such a difficult situation that they had to do something like this.

I truly hope that things have got easier for them since and things are better now. It's been a horrible time for many families.

So many people have suggested that it was handed in to lost property or repurposed after a certain period - surely the lost property is in the office? So, when it was handed in, the office staff would have seen the name tag and contacted OP?

The other parent wrote their son's name over the name OP stitched into the jacket, which means the original owner's name was visible to whoever picked it up...

The only scenario that makes sense to me is that the boy picked up the coat and took it home, his parents said "score - free coat!" and wrote his name on the label. If it had been picked up by the teacher or handed to any other member of staff, they would have immediately checked the name.

Some really unpleasant replies here - wanting to publicly shame the mother at the school gates in front of the gossips, or in a whats app group message - by all means raise it but with her alone - she realised when her son came home with it as she would have seen your child's name in it. But even then, how do you know she didn't do it because she was desperate? To want public humiliation for the mother and as a result her son is something that's really horrible.

If a kid takes the wrong coat home and the parents steal it and write his name over the original then it has naff all to do the school and didn’t happen ‘on their watch’ schools have enough to do without wading into this too.

Sure it wasn't handed in as 'lost', assumed old and sold at school fundraising event as second hand uniform? Happens a lot at my nippers school....

This actually happened to me at primary school. We had school branded jackets and someone stole mine and ripped the zipper tag off it with my name. A few months later I happened to notice something on a jacket in the cloak room, don’t remember what, that made me check the pocket and lo and behold, there was my name sewn in the pocket. And the jacket stunk of smoke. My house is smoke free, so someone had been wearing it for a while. I took it back.

As you can tell, it still gets on my nerves to this day lol. The cheek of some people to steal another child's coat and give it to your own child.

She was probably desperate and found it in lost property. The boy probably had no idea.

why is the teacher gutless and not the OP 😮

Takes me back to when dd's brand new school cardigan went missing in the second week and then turned up about a year later!
There's not a lot you can do about it, but as another poster said upthread, you could post it on the year group page/chat with picture of the coat saying what happened, naming no names but "I know who you are. What kind of a person does this?". That's the only level of satisfaction you can get without it blowing up.

My SD left her brand new higher grade leotard at ballet class. They had just changed uniform and she was one of the first to get one.

She realised as she was getting in to the car. DH went back in to get it and as he walked in to the waiting area he spotted a Mum in there sitting unpicking SDs name tape.
Some people just have no shame.

I'd out her on the class chat in case she does it again. Take pics of the name written over and the one in the pocket and post it. I get some people struggle but she stole and should be taught a lesson, she won't do it again if everyone knows she's stolen before. She knew who the coat belonged to if she wrote over the name, no excuse here.

At dc's primary at the end of the year, after repeated reminders to check lost property, anything left gets flogged off to raise funds for the PTA/given to those who are in need. I'd suspect that is what happened here rather than being deliberately stolen.

Does the mum know your daughter's full name to have known the label referred to her?

Tbh since you found it in lost property, I'd probably approach her with the coat and give it back to her, saying something like "Hi, I was looking for DD's jumper and found her lost coat there too, but I can see your child's name has been written over hers so he must have been using it...here you go. In if you see anything with my DD's name in there I'd appreciate it if you let me know as this coat was brand new when it went missing."

Or something along those lines.

and wrote his name clearly over the OP's DD name! yes obviously this happened! 🙄

I remember when another girl stole my underwear after swimming as she didn’t bring any and I had to wear the sopping wet suit instead.

I wouldn't leave it, I'd talk calmly to tge parent out of earshot of other kids. Tell her she's been outed, so if anything else goes missing you'll suggest she is asked if she knows anything.

I hate thrives- who tge F do they ghink thry are?

Same thing happened to me it was one of my DSs mates and her mum said she had no idea - yes right, name on it etc and suddenly yiu can't read. I gave her the look - gave her the well worn stuff he DD had left for my DD to wear and took my DDs brand new stuff back. It didn't happen again, in fact list stuff reduced massively....

Our school sell whatever is in lost property twice a year so its possible she has bought it in good faith from the school fundraising team.

A fellow parent has complained that clearly labelled items should not be sold as she has 4 kids, 3 in school, I agree with her but no one is going to take to time to contact parents or give any items back to the kids to take home.

I had the same at my kids school.
They were all given PE hoodies as they have to go in wearing PE kit on their day. He lost his end of march time. I asked the teachers afew times and the pastrol lead and was told it will turn up. I didn't think I'd see it again. Last week on his PE day it turned up and someone has cut the size label out!! I never cut labels out and luckily I wrote his name on both labels. Also, when another child loses their jumper they send out a marvellous me message but not for my child.
So many issues with the school I've started a list but anyway I know how you feel. I was fuming when I got it back. Can't believe people do this sort of thing!

What did she say when she realised she'd been caught red-handed??

The thing is you don't know that she "took" the coat.

When DS was at primary any unclaimed lost property was collected by the PTA and sold on a 50p stall at events.

It's possible something similar happened and the other mum "bought" the coat in good faith?