Is this my life forever now?!

[lancsgirl85]

So.. I think the answer to this is "yes, you will never lie in ever again" but just to check in case there's a glimmer of hope...

My 13 month old has started to sleep through the night probably 5 nights out of 7, so we are lucky in that respect. However, why, for the love of God, does she think 5.30am is an acceptable time to get up every single morning?!

Usually I get up and take her downstairs to play and breakfast etc, but this morning I just couldn't face it and brought into the playpen in my bedroom while I dozed on and off and she played. I felt guilty but I am exhausted with the early starts. I'd like just one day a week where I can lie in until 7.30/8am. Just one.

I mean, she gets up so offensively early, that her "mid morning" nap is now, at 9am! I'm typing this as she snoozes in my arms on the sofa.

Am I ever going to lie in til 7.30 ever again? Am I doomed? 😫

(Semi lightheaded but also please tell me there is hope of a lie in one day before I turn 40)

So last night she mixed it up a bit: down by 8.45pm, awake by 3am (I'd only gone to bed at 11pm so this was torture). And then proceeded to stay awake until just past 4.30am 😫 she finally crashed and slept some more until 8.30 this morning!

So... I got my lie in. But I had to sacrifice sleep between 3.00- 4.30am for it. 😴🙄

@TeddyisMydog

At 8 he really should have more consideration for other members of the household

I’m glad you at least got your lie in!

So did I this morning funnily enough. DD woke up at her usual 5am but I just basically told her if she wants to stay awake then she’ll have to come to my bed and bring a book or her kindle with her. Which she did, and then I snoozed for like an hour. It felt like heaven waking up at 6am for once!

It is one of nature’s cruellest tricks, that as soon as your child is old enough to love a long lie in, you will be physically incapable of sleeping past 7am. My teen is currently fast asleep whereas I have been up for over 2 hours!

Funnily enough I got an extra hour too- the baby monitor was on mute 🙈 which I must have knocked it onto after the 3am wake up.

woke up at 6:40 in a panic, but the baby was just rolling around in his cot talking to the lampshade 🤷🏻‍♀️🤣

If you're getting 5 nights sleep out of 7 at 13 months, a 5.30am start is nothing. Many people have to be up that early for work etc. An 8am start to the day is quite late for many people, going kids or not. You'll just have to go to bed earlier to get sleep in.

‘A 5:30am start is nothing’

wow, what a bloody sanctimonious thing to say.

Also an hour of disruption during the night isn't much for a 13 month old. She is still tiny and many kids have disrupted sleep for years. I'm not saying it isn't hard but your expectations of a baby are very unrealistic. You're setting yourselves up to fail.

Haha this is so cute 😅 Glad you got a lie in too!

Yeah I also work 4 days a week so I'm familiar with an early start, thanks. I was saying that on just one of my 3 days off per week, it would be nice to lie in past 5.30am. Until, I don't know, 7.30 or something.

Clearly I'm unreasonable. 😂

@Skinnermarink

Glad you also got a bit of a lie in!
It always worries me that I might accidentally mute the monitor in my sleep deprived state 😩 I'm bound to do it one day 😂

I just think yes you are being unreasonable when you have a 13 month old baby. Babies and small kids ARE hard- yes, complaint about hard it is but your situation isn't unusual. I don't think it's realistic to have a 13 month old who sleeps 8-8 7 days a week without waking.

@Skinnermarink I qualified that with saying because the OP's baby sleeps through 5 nights out of 7 which is definitely a winner. I'd have given my right arm for that at that age. Sleep deprivation from early starts means you need to go to bed earlier. It's not the same as being woken several times in the night- then it doesn't matter when you go to bed/get up.

11pm is simply too late to expect to be able to rise at 5.30am feeling refreshed. Go to bed earlier!

Well, we all survived 😅 he’s only in the next room and quite capable of shouting so I guess he didn’t need anything that much!

@SmellyWellyWoo i don’t think anyone is expecting a small baby to sleep magically through the night, I just think a 5:30 wake up can be bloody wearing. On thé days DS is at nursery, I work 8-7pm to squish a full time job into a three day week so we only have to pay three days of nursery (at an astronomical cost still)

By thé time I’ve done the commute and am home again, it’s after 9. It’s extremely hard to switch off and do all the things I need to do to go to bed at 11pm. Anyway at the moment DS is awake again for a feed at 2-3 (and he has to have this because he needs to put weight on after a nasty bout of norovirus that put him in hospital)

so I just don’t think it’s as black and white as you make out, and it’s pretty condescending to say ‘well it’s nothing, just go to bed earlier’

now just waiting for the inevitable ‘but 33 hours a week isn’t a full time job!’

it is, because I have to do four hours from home on the weekend or an evening to make it so.

@Skinnermarink

Totally agree. I'm not home as late as you are but I also work longer compressed days to have a day off per week with DD, so I'm home later than I'd like anyway, then it's tea time, bath time, getting jobs done, settling DD for bed, having a shower myself... god forbid I might even have an hour of relaxation time watching TV or reading. It really is not as easy as just jump into bed at 9pm, sometimes only 15 mins after baby is down in my case. People don't get it, at all.

Exactly, and it’s not like you can just flick a switch and say ‘right lights out, I’ll just switch off and sleep now!’ how nice that would be.

I’m sure a lot of us have the Inevitable thoughts running at 90miles an hour running through our brains for at least a while however much we try to wind down. We’re only human 😅

Either you get an evening or you get a lie-in. Our daughter (now 2.4) goes to sleep sometimes as late as 9 or even 10pm on a bad day, but she sleeps until 7. Maybe alternate with other half?

Babies do change your life! You do have to make changes to your own routines and schedules.

Again it's unrealistic to expect them to conform to an adult sleeping pattern which gives you ample time in the evening for relaxation and leisurely lie ins in the morning. You cut your cloth accordingly.

I've endured sleeplessness both as a working full time single parent and with a hands on DP and again working full time). I don't have magic coping skills but I do accept that my choice to have kids will inevitably massively impact on my life, sleep and free time.

So...

DD has only had one nap today instead of two, from 11.40-1.30pm (2 hrs later than normal, due to the later waking up time). So this should mean she goes down earlier tonight without much fuss, right? She's looking really tired at the moment. Hoping the reduced nap times goes in my favour tonight! 🤞🏻

I hate to tell you this but my 8 year old is awake at 530 every morning too.

As a result I am in bed at 9 each night!

Do they need you to get up with them?

My 13yo got up at 6.30 this morning. Weirdo. Thankfully nowadays I can stay in bed while she watches Netflix, but we trained her to get her own breakfast at the weekends from the age of 3. Her siblings (14 & 9) both got up after me and their Dad.

sleepingsatellite1 on school days yes as we have to leave the house at 7 am (we live overseas and school starts early.)

Are you implying kids could/should be left to their own devices in the morning?

How could I be implying anything when I didn’t know you were getting up to leave for school?? If you were talking about a weekend then yes an NT 8 year old is obviously fine to get up without needing an adult, and that’s not implying that’s just stating (fyi)