Is this my life forever now?!

[lancsgirl85]

So.. I think the answer to this is "yes, you will never lie in ever again" but just to check in case there's a glimmer of hope...

My 13 month old has started to sleep through the night probably 5 nights out of 7, so we are lucky in that respect. However, why, for the love of God, does she think 5.30am is an acceptable time to get up every single morning?!

Usually I get up and take her downstairs to play and breakfast etc, but this morning I just couldn't face it and brought into the playpen in my bedroom while I dozed on and off and she played. I felt guilty but I am exhausted with the early starts. I'd like just one day a week where I can lie in until 7.30/8am. Just one.

I mean, she gets up so offensively early, that her "mid morning" nap is now, at 9am! I'm typing this as she snoozes in my arms on the sofa.

Am I ever going to lie in til 7.30 ever again? Am I doomed? 😫

(Semi lightheaded but also please tell me there is hope of a lie in one day before I turn 40)

When they get to 8-9, that's when you'll be awake at the crack of dawn and they'll be lying in their pit refusing to get up.

It's not forever but you have a while to go yet.

Why do you feel guilty that she is safely amusing herself in the playpen? I honestly think if parents lost the idea that they have to constantly be interacting with their child everyone would be far happier! You buy them all those expensive toys, books etc for a reason.

It will get better @lancsgirl85 ! I remember those days though.

As I am a slatternly parent I would leave cereal out for the DCs when they were old enough to get up themselves (very young by MN standards😳) and leave the tv so they could press a button and access CBeebies 🤣

And yes, I agree that her babbling and amusing herself is a great thing for her development as well as your sanity 😃

I love all the advice on ways to change this 😂. It's not possible by changing naps, bedtime etc. if your kid is gonna wake at 530, they're gonna wake at 530. I'm with you for solidarity love, it's a bitch but pass

At that age mine were sleeping (often with a wake-up or two during the night) 9pm-7am, sometimes later.

To achieve this you do have to re-set their whole day. Unfortunately this is not always compatible with nursery schedules if they attend one. We had breakfast 8am, nap not before 10am, lunch no earlier than 12:30, dinner 6pm then start bedtime at 8pm.

Lots of afternoon sunshine is key to re-set their internal clock later as well as minimising light at times when you don't want them up. I would always take them out for a walk in the afternoon and after dinner if it was sunny.

When they start to understand things a bit more, you can introduce a gro-clock.

This does all take a bit of work. I thought it was worth it. Lots of people seem to prefer to just moan about it and want sympathy not solutions. Which is also fine and you do have my sympathy!

As others have said, it isn't going to be for ever. Mine could sort themselves out and at least get themselves some cereal/ a roll and put the TV on to watch cartoons by about 5.

Oh I remember those times - sitting in DS's bedroom pushing Brio trains to and forth like a zombie.

You will get your sleep back. It really helped me accept it when I changed my mindset from one where I assumed he was a demon, put on this earth to ruin my life to one where he was just a little kid doing his thing.

My DS is now 11 and has ALWAYS woken up at 5.45 am, up by 6am. Regardless of being on holiday, time of the year, weekends, tiring days out, early bedtimes, later bedtimes, blackout blinds, no screens before bed etc. We tried everything! From age 9, he was happy to get up on his own and get some cereal/watch tv which made a massive difference to the bags under my eyes. But what I would do for him to lie in for JUST ONE DAY!

Were you lucky enough to be a stay at home parent by any chance?

It won't last forever. Can anyone have her overnight once in a while so you can have a lie in.
Do you make sure you go to bed early so you get enough sleep?
And don't feel guilty about the play pen idea - it's a great one!

I refused to allow my 2 to get up before 7:30. I would sit in the room, while they had to lie back down in the cot. I would lie on the floor next to the cot with my hand on her back etc. When 7:30 came I would get her up, but often she would fall back to sleep. I had her very well set to that time. I couldn't live with early starts, I'm a night owl and it would do my head in. We also own and at the time lived above out pub so late nights are the thing for us.

She may be over tired. I would put her to bed earlier. Start bedtime at 6:45. She may well fall sleep sooner.

Absolutely nothing wrong with letting them play for a bit in a safe environment while u get a bit more sleep I used to pour the bag of balls from the ball pit in my little ones cots that would usually give me an extra half hour aslong as u can sleep through balls being thrown at the walls 🤣

Why do you feel guilty that she is safely amusing herself in the playpen? I honestly think if parents lost the idea that they have to constantly be interacting with their child everyone would be far happier! You buy them all those expensive toys, books etc for a reason.

I know. It's silly and makes no sense really. I always feel like I "should be" interacting with her if she's up and awake, otherwise I'm being a "lazy parent". But I'm aware that's stupid and makes no sense, I have to work hard to challenge it sometimes!

This really made me laugh!

Some commentators will give you things to try to stop the early waking and it might work but IME toddlers at that age do wake hellishly early.

I found my DS got better around 3yrs old and we introduced a gro-clock around this age so he knew it wasn’t officially morning until the sun came up (but that was set at 6:30am as that was the longest he was realistically going to stay in bed until)

Popping her in a play pen whilst you doze is absolutely fine! We started giving DS an iPad with coco melon etc on at about 2 so that we could doze for another half an hour (yep, the dreaded screen time- shocking!)

We used weekends to take it in turns to have a lie in each. Other than that, we quickly got used to the fact that early mornings are unfortunately something we had to accept.

And FYI - you are allowed 2 breakfasts if you’re up before 6:00am. Fact.

I should add 7:30 to bed and 730 to wake up, back for a nap at 9am for maybe 45 mins and then another nap at 12:30 for 2 hours.

I can't remember when we dropped the 9am nap though.

@Bpdqueen
😂 mental note made to take ball pit contents upstairs ready for tomorrow morning...

And FYI - you are allowed 2 breakfasts if you’re up before 6:00am. Fact.

Haha I'm on my third I think. Lost count. And about my 10th coffee....😬

Babies soon tell you if they're unhappy. If she's gurgling and messing about in her cot, leave her be and carry on snoozing. You might find they drift back off you're lucky.

I hate to break this to you, but even as teens mine wake mega early. My entire household is usually awake by 5:30am. The eldest (almost 17) even gets up at 5am to go to the gym. Middle one (13) wakes around 5am-6am. Thankfully, they're both pretty independent so at least you've that to look forward to.
Neither of them have ever slept in past 6am. I was also promised that by 13 they'd sleep in, I'm still waiting...

Now we have a 19-month-old who wakes anytime between 4am and 6am, usually nearer 4am. My friends' babies wake around 8:30am which just makes me think they have magical unicorns instead of human babies but hey ho!

Mine are 8 and 6,they never have a lie in!6am at a push every single god dam day!

No, but I was part time and was (extremely!) lucky enough to have supportive grandparents and a good childminder to look after my children before they started preschool.

he surely has days off though, do you not get a lie in then?

😂😂😂😂😂😂

I’m afraid to tell you that tweaking the naps only works for a few babies.

some are just naturally early wakers and will remain so no matter how perfect the nap schedule. Believe me, I tried !

When DD was two I was at work at 8am...

She could also spend the entire afternoon swimming in an outside pool, have black curtains and still wake up between 4-5am.

Did I mention reprogramming 2 different sorts of gro- type clocks?

The comment "this does take some work". Some children it will work for. Some it won't.

Yes by all means try it but D
dont beat yourself up if yours are the category it doesn't work for. Some it just doesn't. do what is necessary for you to get rest and keeps DC safe and happy.