Is this my life forever now?!

[lancsgirl85]

So.. I think the answer to this is "yes, you will never lie in ever again" but just to check in case there's a glimmer of hope...

My 13 month old has started to sleep through the night probably 5 nights out of 7, so we are lucky in that respect. However, why, for the love of God, does she think 5.30am is an acceptable time to get up every single morning?!

Usually I get up and take her downstairs to play and breakfast etc, but this morning I just couldn't face it and brought into the playpen in my bedroom while I dozed on and off and she played. I felt guilty but I am exhausted with the early starts. I'd like just one day a week where I can lie in until 7.30/8am. Just one.

I mean, she gets up so offensively early, that her "mid morning" nap is now, at 9am! I'm typing this as she snoozes in my arms on the sofa.

Am I ever going to lie in til 7.30 ever again? Am I doomed? 😫

(Semi lightheaded but also please tell me there is hope of a lie in one day before I turn 40)

Had a nap around midday ish.

😱😱 i couldn’t have my baby stay up all evening with us, blimey, what if I want to watch something voilent 🤣

1. you don’t need to go into a happy and safe baby before 7am. Stop doing it to yourself!
2. on the days (most at first!) when you do go in because she is upset make sure mornings are super boring - do what you would do if she was up at 2am- exaggerate in a nice way about how tired you are, how it’s the middle of the night, how shocked you are she is awake etc…
3. never give breakfast before 7am.
4. black out blinds and do not put the light on before 7 whatever happens.
5. gro clock- before she’s old enough to understand it is the perfect time to start, you want her to see it as something that is always there.
6. put it out of reach- if something goes wrong and she touches it react how she would if she undid her seatbelt on the motorway. (this is how seriously I take sleep 😂)

Don't feel guilty! Sounds like she was playing happily! It gets better I promise. I can't get mine out of bed now!

My DD was like this at that age, now she would gladly sleep in til half 9 every morning if I let her… I’m now trying to work out how I’m going to get her to school on time when she starts in September! That’s how fast it can change!

When she was a baby literally all I wanted was for someone to reassure me that I would sleep again. I could cope if I knew I wasn’t doomed to 3 hours’ sleep a night for the rest of eternity! So hang in there, I can confirm you WILL sleep properly again!

Eventually we realised ours didn’t need much sleep and went with the flow of a 10pm to 5.30am sleep because we were all better to have 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

I shall never forget the immortal words at 4.30am "birds up, boy up".

There were some halcyon days between about 6 and 17 where they were able to occupy themselves in the late evening/early morning. And then I looked back on the baby and toddler days because when they were in the cot or the house I knew where they were. Once their social lives took off I was awake until the key turned in the lock anytime between midnight and midday.

it most certainly will change op when they get to twelve and you are up and preparing breakfasts and lunches for school whilst shouting up the stairs in a panic because they still are not up and your panicking about them being late for school 😂 and at weekends its possible they wont even be up by midday so yes there is a definate glimmer of hope for you

I remember when my middle boy went through this and it being the most awful period of my life (not helped by me being an owl rather than a lark). It will pass, I promise.

It will get better op. Those 5.30 starts are hell, especially in winter. Mine getnup on their own now. The only problem is my internal body clock is screwed (or getting old) and now I can't sleep in at all!

My now 27 month old used to do this, now it’s between 4 and 5am. Never thought I’d be praying for a 5am lie in I tell you lol. I told myself it was a phase but I think it’s just who she is. 9am is lunchtime in our house 😫

DS1 has been an early riser all his life, and he's 12 now, and still considers 6:30am to a massive lie-in. Going to bed later doesn't help.

As soon as you can trust them, teach them to make their own breakfast and go and watch TV/ipad!

I'm pretty resigned to it, but as a freelance single mother, I'm able to just move my schedule and be in bed by 10 myself so the house starting the day at 5am isn't a big deal. When I was with ex, at least I could kinda get one lie-in a week when we alternated weekend days.

This was exactly my life for the first 6 years i think - it was very tough. I tried everything but I refused to embrace late bedtimes. My child had a great routine - went to bed slept solidly but was up and ready to go at 5.30 everyday. We just adapted to this this for a few years by going to be earlier ourselves.

I often recall looking at the clock thinking it much be lunchtime and it was only 9am.

You need to encourage them to try and stay in their room until at least 6am. Try glo clocks etc, books in cot etc When old enough to go and watch TV then that works however be careful as encouraging that can also lead to earlier waking as they can't wait to go and watch it... I recall times when my child had done 3 hours of screen time before 9am.....

My son is simply an early riser. Now he is a big teen he still only sleeps in until 9am!!!

It all seems a distant faded memory but it was hell at the time.

Don't feel guilty about the playpen, for starters.

My experience - based on two terrible sleepers, non-nappers, early-risers - is that an earlier bedtime gets a better and therefore longer sleep. Everyone was telling us to put them to bed later, made no difference. Your dd is taking a long time to settle and fall asleep which points to over-tiredness to me.

I'd rejig your timings - and give it a couple of weeks to take effect.

I would aim for a 7pm bedtime (ie 7pm lights off, walk out of the room). It might even need to be 6 or 6.30, but start with 7. You're aiming for her to be drowsy and almost drifting off when you put her into bed. Watch for the signs starting from around 6pm! (And then act fast - you need to catch the wave so she doesn't get a second wind and head into over-tiredness)

Start the day at 7am - open the curtains, let light in, be bouncy and jolly etc. If initially she wakes up before that, as others say - keep the room dark, soothe, treat it was if it were the middle of the night, until 7.

One nap at 12-ish (will get later as she gets older).

Busy, active afternoon with fresh air blah blah blah etc. - playground if possible.

Dinner at 5.30/6.

I did this with my two boys (4 years apart), and I would put them in their cot at 7, they'd roll over and go to sleep and stay asleep till 7-ish.

Good luck!

I could have written this! Made me laugh, but it’s true.

I have 4 kids born over a 20 year period so many years of this plus work, looked forward to retirement and lazy lie ins. I wake at 5.30 am every morning. I wish I could sleep longer but I just can't. Life isn't fair is it.

@lancsgirl85

why on earth would you feel guilty about this?!

id do it every morning if I was you.

she’ll be fine

I'm confused. You had two terrible sleepers who slept from 7 pm to 7 am ish every night? Or did you have two terrible sleepers and then another two who slept well?

And agree on not giving her breakfast until at least 7am

My cat wakes me up with claws at 5am every single blood morning and bites me if I don't get up to feed her then I'm up for the day.
Its a good thing I love her!!!!!

Sadly, this is parent life.
Try blinds/ black out curtains.

It will gradually become a little later but, 6am starts are normal for most. My children are older now, but I'm always up at 6.
The dog gets me up for a fuss before work.

You will sleep again, just not until they're 10 +

Sorry.

@LuckySantangelo35

It's hard to explain. I worry that she thinks she's alone and has been "left" if I'm not interacting with her. It's irrational, I know. ☹️

Whenever it got better I would have another baby and the whole cycle would begin again!

Youngest is 8 now and usually sleeps until 8:30 at weekends and holidays but 9 year old still gets up at 6 regularly. And 8 year old won't sleep until 10:30 most nights.

I wish!!! Our DS has SN so if he's up we need to be up. I do remember that I once said to him "You're a teenager, you're supposed to stay in bed all day at the weekend". He's now 20something and still won't lie in!!!

If it's possible to get a baby used to the clocks going forward or back then its possible to change their body clock. You need to do everything later than you normally would, like meals, and it should push back. Or do they get up at the same time irrespective if clocks are on summer or winter time?

But if she was upset she would be crying. What's wrong with being alone sometimes anyway?