Page 6 | Is this my life forever now?!

lancsgirl85 · 2022-05-20T08:16:12+00:00

So.. I think the answer to this is "yes, you will never lie in ever again" but just to check in case there's a glimmer of hope... My 13 month old has started to sleep through the night probably 5 nights out of 7, so we are lucky in that respect. However, why, for the love of God, does she think 5.30am is an acceptable time to get up every single morning?! Usually I get up and take her downstairs to play and breakfast etc, but this morning I just couldn't face it and brought into the playpen in my bedroom while I dozed on and off and she played. I felt guilty but I am exhausted with the early starts. I'd like just ^one^ day a week where I can lie in until 7.30/8am. Just one. I mean, she gets up so offensively early, that her "mid morning" nap is now, at 9am! I'm typing this as she snoozes in my arms on the sofa. Am I ever going to lie in til 7.30 ever again? Am I doomed? 😫 (--Semi lightheaded but also please tell me there is hope of a lie in one day before I turn 40)--

Skinnermarink · 20/05/2022 12:05

I totally get where OP is coming from and she has said she knows it’s irrational! My DS is really happy pottering on his playmat with his toys and that’s brillant but it still annoys me when DH plonks him on there to do just that and then sits playing Civilisation. I always feel like I shouldn’t be enjoying leisure time when I’m looking after the baby, incase he needs me to sing The Ants Go Marching or something 🤣

valleyofadventure · 20/05/2022 12:06

@ancientgran Sorry if my post was confusing. I had two babies (4 years apart) who were both appalling sleepers until I changed what we were doing and moved to early bedtimes, which transformed them into great sleepers.

AryaStarkWolf · 20/05/2022 12:08

Skinnermarink · 20/05/2022 12:05

I totally get where OP is coming from and she has said she knows it’s irrational! My DS is really happy pottering on his playmat with his toys and that’s brillant but it still annoys me when DH plonks him on there to do just that and then sits playing Civilisation. I always feel like I shouldn’t be enjoying leisure time when I’m looking after the baby, incase he needs me to sing The Ants Go Marching or something 🤣

more fool you!

Skinnermarink · 20/05/2022 12:10

Yeah, I am being somewhat lighthearted @AryaStarkWolf 🙄

I’ve never had a baby before, Im still finding my stride some days, as I’m sure many of us are.

Summersdreaming · 20/05/2022 12:12

So you won't lie in when you can and you wont leave baby to play happily when she wakes at the crack of dawn, and yet you are moaning 😂let goooo of the mum guilt and get some sleep woman.

valleyofadventure · 20/05/2022 12:15

valleyofadventure · 20/05/2022 12:06

@ancientgran Sorry if my post was confusing. I had two babies (4 years apart) who were both appalling sleepers until I changed what we were doing and moved to early bedtimes, which transformed them into great sleepers.

The impact was greater with my first ds, as we had been properly flailing around, not knowing what to do with this baby who hardly slept. It felt pretty wondrous when that all changed. With my second, we had the benefit of experience, but life and older ds' timetable had meant that we'd slipped into later bedtimes etc. Changing that transformed dc2's sleep too.

I know all babies are different - of course - but an early bedtime was absolutely the game-changer for us.

Twattergy · 20/05/2022 12:16

Those telling you to change naps or bed time don't get it. A lot of kids just wake early regardless of this (my ds included). For us it was 5.30 wake until about 2.5 years. 6am from 2.5 til about 4 years old. 6.30 from 4 until 9 years. Aged 10 now DS can make it to 7.15 max. We take turns for a weekend lie in these days but 8.30 is a mega lie in for me now!

Original poster

lancsgirl85 · 20/05/2022 12:16

Summersdreaming · 20/05/2022 12:12

So you won't lie in when you can and you wont leave baby to play happily when she wakes at the crack of dawn, and yet you are moaning 😂let goooo of the mum guilt and get some sleep woman.

Yeah that's pretty much it in a nutshell 🙈😂

OP posts:

Original poster

lancsgirl85 · 20/05/2022 12:17

Skinnermarink · 20/05/2022 12:05

I totally get where OP is coming from and she has said she knows it’s irrational! My DS is really happy pottering on his playmat with his toys and that’s brillant but it still annoys me when DH plonks him on there to do just that and then sits playing Civilisation. I always feel like I shouldn’t be enjoying leisure time when I’m looking after the baby, incase he needs me to sing The Ants Go Marching or something 🤣

😂Yes! You totally get it.

OP posts:

AryaStarkWolf · 20/05/2022 12:21

Skinnermarink · 20/05/2022 12:10

Yeah, I am being somewhat lighthearted @AryaStarkWolf 🙄

I’ve never had a baby before, Im still finding my stride some days, as I’m sure many of us are.

I would say "more fool you!" was quite a light hearted turn of phrase too no need to get offended

Original poster

lancsgirl85 · 20/05/2022 12:22

But if she was upset she would be crying. What's wrong with being alone sometimes anyway?

There's nothing at all wrong with being alone sometimes. I should probably explain at this point that I lost my own mum as a child quite suddenly and in traumatic circumstances. I felt alone as a little girl many a time. I suppose I work hard to overcompensate and ensure my little one never feels the way I did. I do know it's irrational though. A mum who is present and attentive 95% of the time who is having a snooze for half an hour whilst you play; versus a very unwell and largely emotionally absent mum who is suddenly no longer there one day when you wake up. They aren't comparable, I get that. But my own childhood experience haunts me I guess. 😢

OP posts:

Greyarea12 · 20/05/2022 12:25

I remember I used to feel this way. Sometimes my girl would wake up at 4am and I had to go to work 9-5 30pm. Beyond exhausted. I can tell you it def is not your life forever. Fast forward 9 years and my near 10 year old sleeps later than me most weekends. Hang in there.

valleyofadventure · 20/05/2022 12:25

Twattergy · 20/05/2022 12:16

Those telling you to change naps or bed time don't get it. A lot of kids just wake early regardless of this (my ds included). For us it was 5.30 wake until about 2.5 years. 6am from 2.5 til about 4 years old. 6.30 from 4 until 9 years. Aged 10 now DS can make it to 7.15 max. We take turns for a weekend lie in these days but 8.30 is a mega lie in for me now!

Maybe we do get it because we also had kids who woke up at the crack of dawn, but maybe we're just saying we made a change and it helped, because that might be helpful to the op (or someone else). I don't think anyone is saying this is the answer because - as we all know - they're all different. But it might be worth a try, no one's forcing anyone.

LuckySantangelo35 · 20/05/2022 12:27

Skinnermarink · 20/05/2022 12:05

I totally get where OP is coming from and she has said she knows it’s irrational! My DS is really happy pottering on his playmat with his toys and that’s brillant but it still annoys me when DH plonks him on there to do just that and then sits playing Civilisation. I always feel like I shouldn’t be enjoying leisure time when I’m looking after the baby, incase he needs me to sing The Ants Go Marching or something 🤣

@Skinnermarink

Enjoy your leisure time!

You’re a person and you deserve relaxation too!

baby is fine to entertain themselves sometimes.

you can’t be annoyed at your husband for doing something you could do but choose not to

HorseInTheHouse · 20/05/2022 12:27

No. Even if you have a naturally early riser (which is actually not all young children, mine have always been real B types), sleep changes so rapidly in the first few years. It may be a brief phase that she will grow out of quickly. You can also try influencing it with changing naps and bedtime, which may well work so don't despair if you haven't even tried it.

Worst case scenario, you may have one of those early risers who will be up at the crack of dawn no matter what until they hit adolescence, and if so I do sympathise. But even then, in a few years you can teach her to play quietly in her room / get her own breakfast / watch morning TV without waking you.

Skinnermarink · 20/05/2022 12:31

LuckySantangelo35 · 20/05/2022 12:27

@Skinnermarink

Enjoy your leisure time!

You’re a person and you deserve relaxation too!

baby is fine to entertain themselves sometimes.

you can’t be annoyed at your husband for doing something you could do but choose not to

Show quote history

You’re exactly right, and to top it off I am a nanny who is BIG into getting children to amuse themselves Independently and I ban phrases such as ‘I’m bored…’ etc.

i am working on this in my own household 🤣

Bunnycat101 · 20/05/2022 12:33

Anecdotally I think some children are hardwired to wake up early and stay that way. My nephew was a 5am-er and staid an early ish riser for much of primary. I’ve got one lark and one owl. The owl needed to be woken at 8 today to get to school. The other one was up at 6.30. Neither were ever 5am wakers thankfully but very much are wired differently re sleep patterns.

Roselilly36 · 20/05/2022 12:34

You get used to it OP, my two are nearly 21 & 19, I still wake up early in the mornings, they aren’t up early, but I think I am conditioned to it now. I do go to bed early at night though. If you are staying up late, you will be really tired. Good luck.

thesugarbumfairy · 20/05/2022 12:44

Its pretty normal OP. I'd have given anything to have mine sleep through at that age. Neither managed it till they were 2.5. That meant 5 years of interrupted sleep for me. Bleugh.
DS2 has always been an early riser. 5.30am was the norm for him. He is 12 now. And still getting up at 6.30am. However I have left him to it for years - he knows how to use a TV remote :)

AryaStarkWolf · 20/05/2022 12:45

lancsgirl85 · 20/05/2022 12:22

But if she was upset she would be crying. What's wrong with being alone sometimes anyway?

There's nothing at all wrong with being alone sometimes. I should probably explain at this point that I lost my own mum as a child quite suddenly and in traumatic circumstances. I felt alone as a little girl many a time. I suppose I work hard to overcompensate and ensure my little one never feels the way I did. I do know it's irrational though. A mum who is present and attentive 95% of the time who is having a snooze for half an hour whilst you play; versus a very unwell and largely emotionally absent mum who is suddenly no longer there one day when you wake up. They aren't comparable, I get that. But my own childhood experience haunts me I guess. 😢

Aww I'm so sorry to hear that ❤

Minimalme · 20/05/2022 12:51

MrsMoastyToasty · 20/05/2022 09:22

It changes once they are 14 years old and then you will be the one who is up, dressed, breakfast eaten and cleared away while they are still in bed at midday.

This.

I forget all about my teen until he shuffles past me still in pjs at 1pm.

Sorry op. We used to cope by sitting baby in from of the tv while we slept next to them. Worst telly in the world at that hour.

Heartofglass12345 · 20/05/2022 12:56

Oh I'm so sorry you lost your mum like that. My husband would get up around half 5 for work when my son was a baby and wake him up, he would happily babble away in his cot most times and sometimes even fall back asleep until around 8 which was great as I am not a morning person lol. I know you have said why you don't like leaving her on her own but she would definitely cry if she was scared or lonely, as long as she is safe that's the main thing!

Also we bought a tommee tippee stick on blackout blind for said son who is now 9 and autistic and sometimes wakes up at 4am thinking it's morning much cheaper and it just has suction cups that you stick to the window and it works really well!

EmilyBolton · 20/05/2022 12:58

Igmum · 20/05/2022 09:28

I'm with MoastyToasty on this one. DD15 now emerges at the crack of noon. Sadly I've been so conditioned by those 5:30 am starts that I'm now incapable of sleeping beyond about 7 (probably not what you want to hear).

Oh… and when the conditioning wears off….you are then into peri menopause and night sweats and tossing and turning from 3am to 5 am
🤦‍♀️😱🤣🤣🤣
maybe when we get to 90?

TheOrigRights · 20/05/2022 12:58

Twattergy · 20/05/2022 12:16

Those telling you to change naps or bed time don't get it. A lot of kids just wake early regardless of this (my ds included). For us it was 5.30 wake until about 2.5 years. 6am from 2.5 til about 4 years old. 6.30 from 4 until 9 years. Aged 10 now DS can make it to 7.15 max. We take turns for a weekend lie in these days but 8.30 is a mega lie in for me now!

I think what I struggle to understand with this is how those kids adjust to the clocks changing twice a year.
Are they like the clocks we never bother to change and are out of sync for 6 months of the year?

BrunoMadrigal · 20/05/2022 13:03

My 13 month old woke up 7 times last night. Our best night to date was 3 times, and that’s rare.

I could strangle people like you!!!

(lighthearted!)