To be annoyed at being called enormous

[Howenormous]

I have an 8 month old baby. I am just getting back into running post baby. On holiday recently I returned from a run wearing tight running shorts and a vest, and my gran said to my aunty - "look isn't she enormous!".
I was pretty taken aback to be honest and sharply said what do you mean to which she laughed and said nothing.
I know for a fact I'm not 'enormous' as I'm 5'5 and weigh 54kg. However I have a history of restrictive eating so I have been much much lighter than this in the past - so probably compared to the stick I used to be maybe I am enormous. I'm proud of getting my body to a place where I have been able to have a baby, and had been finding confidence in my new body - but her words ring in my ears and I don't want it to make me go down the route of restrictive eating again.

Should I raise it with her and ask what she meant and why she said it? She's 100 and I don't want to upset her, in every other way she's lovely and I don't know why she felt the need to say it.

Or should I just work on forgetting and move on? Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed by this?

Oh dear OP, these old dears do have a habit of speaking their mind (I regularly have to tell my gran that certain words are not acceptable when shouted loudly in public!
Don't worry about it - at 54 kg you obviously aren't enormous, and kudos to you for being fit and active, rather than sitting on the sofa shovelling hobnobs like so many do (and then blame their baby weight). Fit and healthy mums rule!!!!

Are you sure she said enormous, that is a strange thing to say

You couldn't possibly be considered enormous by any measure, op.

Are you sure she wasn’t being sarcastic? Perhaps they had been talking about you not needing the exercise/being able to cut down on exercise because you didn’t need to lose any more weight?

Still not a nice thing to say mind you, but maybe intended as a sort of back-handed compliment. I’m the same height as you and wouldn’t have considered myself enormous at 10.5 stone, so you are very clearly not enormous at 2 stone lighter than that! I wouldn’t be annoyed about it though. It’s so bizarre (if she did mean it genuinely) that it’s not even worth registering.

I can completely relate OP I have a 7 month old baby and I’m 5’6 and 52KG but have a history of eating disorders and because I didn’t lose all the weight instantly I actually got asked if I was pregnant again! At 6 weeks postpartum! By multiple people! I was only 120lbs 😫 And after a recent family dinner with the OHs family we took a group photo which my MIL sent me over message and I said gosh that is unflattering of me and she replied words to the effect of “don’t be so hard on yourself you have two beautiful DCs” along with comments saying that she even thought my SIL looked fat and she’s never thought that. This struck me hard, and even though it was weeks ago I haven’t been able to forget it as all I could think is she thinks I’m fat and she thinks I’m ugly (if she believed that truly hideous picture of me to be representative of how I look and my children to be my only redeeming feature).

I think when you are a skinny person people get so used to the underweight -and probably the really unhappy, not eating etc - version of you that they see you now at a healthy weight and you are “enormous”. It sucks but I’d just focus on being healthy for you and your baby, you know your weight is healthy and petite so I think ignoring the negative comments is the way forward. And well done for getting back to running so soon!

Are you sure it wasn't a badly aimed joke / sarcastic trying to be funny comment?

Your gran is extremely rude, and I would be telling her so.

I can see why you might have a history of disordered eating, if this is the atmosphere you are exposed to.

That's ridiculous. I'm about to go to a Pilates class where the teacher is the same size as you and she looks amazing. She was complaining last week about being lighter and looking terrible...

I'm 90kg and it's all good, love yourself! It's bastard comments like this that get in your head.

I don't understand this at all. I am shorter and significantly heavier than you and my baby is 10 months. I have had lots of compliments at how attending a baby and mum exercise class has been paying off. Unless there's been a mix up I presume this comment is indicative of why you've had to overcome disordered eating.

She is 100 so I'd let it pass. You don't know how long she has left

Of course YANBU to be upset. However - she's 100!

I wouldn't want to be getting into it with a 100yo tbh, she's living on borrowed time!

Ultimately you're choosing to continue focusing your energy on this. You'll achieve little by carrying it on, aside from probably causing yourself more anger.

I understand its hurtful, but you can't control other people's opinions of you. You CAN control how you feel about them, and how you react.

Maybe she thinks that running is something that bigger people do to lose weight. Women her age would probably have only exercised to lose weight and improve their figure and wouldn’t have been about fitness.

So maybe it’s a joke because she finds it funny that someone your size is (in her eyes) trying to lose weight. Was it said in a sarcastic (but not too unpleasant) tone?

You are tiny and your Nan is very old. Look at the sizes in your clothes.

@Howenormous you are clearly very slim so just ignore your Nan please!!
My Nan could make unpleasant remarks if she so choose into her 90s... just because someone is very elderly doesn't mean they can't be bitchy!!

Have you been talking about needing to get fit/lose weight and she is being sarcastic as in you’re really not enormous?

Is she’s a lovely person, do you really think she meant to be unkind?

This. 100% this. You’re clearly not enormous. But it doesn’t matter anyway. I am a size 22 and I’d still think it was rude if someone said this about me. She is BU. YANBU.

On the other hand, she’s 100, she won’t change. So I wouldn’t talk to her about it. But do try not to take it on board xx

Your gran made a mistake. She made a comment that really hurt, but that's on her, not representative of you. She's 100, I'd let it go, forgive and move on being well with your very significant achievements. Others won't always hold this in mind, but it's so important you do, and we here all do. We'll done you!

Probably why you had an eating disorder in the first place. Just ignore them. Personally I'd be furious and let rip!

Cut her some slack
she's 100

Our society makes disordered normal and thin is best.fuvk it op.this is probably partly where your body image and restrictive eating came from!
But to be that very small size you had to restrict food.read that again.so hat was in fact more unhealthy and could have been damaging you.
Not to mention that restricting and dieting cycle is fucking miserable.
How much stronger do you feel now.how much happier that you don't have to compromise on nights put,meals,random fun foods.how much less worry and constantly having to be mindful of foods and how little to have.
Your getting actually to the best place if you follow your hunger and don't restrict.you getting to no your body for real.and that's a beautiful place to be.and lot more at peace.your body is amazing.fifhting to get to a more unrestrictive size and life is inspiring in a society we live in where disordered food and eating seems to be being the toxic norm.
please please don't go back.your head will be feeding on your insecurities.it will tell you to be in control and restrict and lower your weight will fix everything.but it won't it never does.its your thoughts and self acceptance that need to be strong.a day plagued with what you used to have to do is not worth it.you ate not your body size.you are beautiful as you.a stable,happy unrestricted you.
Pity them in any thing.thry are wrapped up in this insane culture and their life must be most miserable at times if they are stuck in it.
Keep working on being you.where you need to be.not restricting.honouring your needs.free from that life.it wasn't easier.it would have never stopped and ud spiral again.

And evening you are 20 stone it wouldn't matter.everu body deserve respect and to be able to feel ok in their skin.and even being restrictive at a larger size could be just as damaging and painful so wouldn't be worth it.

Are you sure she wasn't having a banter' with your Aunt
" How looks really good , back into running considering she's not long had a baby , she's shifted her bump well"
And your Grans comment was her being funny ?

People in my family would say "I'm not sure about that cake you made , I'll just have another slice to check it isn't as horrid as I thought" ( or words to)
No malice .

Presumably she meant it sarcastically because you very much are not enormous - in a kind of "look at that slim thing" way. Also she's 100 so just forget it. I wouldn't take offence if a 100 year old called me enormous, because I know I'm not, and I am shorter than you and weigh considerably more.

I also think she may have been joking and maybe thinks you are too thin. Either way just ignore. If she is 100 I think you should cut her some slack.