to need a pithy reply to this work email...

[mumto3boysHE]

I'm sat trying to respond professionally to an email just received from a potential customer. Actually, not a potential customer because I turned the work down because I thought it might be more trouble than the job is worth.
And sure enough I've received an email back responding to my polite refusal stating that if I don't want to do the work she would prefer I was just honest about the reason rather than making up an issue that doesn't exist. She apparently is picking up that my company is struggling and makes her wonder whether I would be able to do a quality job!!!!
Then she mentions that she would be recommending across social media and encouraging others to have the same thing done...
After all that, she still wants me to quote, but only if ' I feel I am capable of meeting the brief and availability so she can compare against other quotes'
I'm sitting on my hands... 🤐
I really want to ask her why on earth she would trust me to do the job because she's questioned my honesty, the viability of my company and the quality of our work!

Any ideas on how to word this better than fuck off?

Right. Keep an eye out for that feedback, and then politely explain in a response that as per your previous email correspondence, you did not feel that it would be possible to quote for this work. However you do wish them well in finding an alternative company to do so.

Good response OP, the part about assuming you couldn't handle the job if you didn't reply looked like an attempt to goad you into a nasty reply she could then post over social media with faux outrage!
If your colleague had the measure of her after meeting her once, I'd reckon any social media rants from her will be disregarded by those who know her, but yes, do keep an eye out for them. You have proof, in the email chain, that she was goady and rude and you were professional and polite.

Definitely keep an eye out for that feedback. And don't hesitate to report it to the site, reply to it with a simple sentence, maybe "We did not quote you for work required as it does not fall within our remit. Please delete this comment" and to issue a simple cease and desist letter, defamtion, slander, libel, whichever is applicable.

I hate customers like this! I have a single online review (I don't seek them or need them really) it states that I should be avoided as I don't know the difference between Wear and Tear. I can't get Yell, or whoever, to take it down despite my never having heard of the poster, never worked with or for them and the sentence makes no sense as both Wear and Tear, when deemed Fair, are non chargeable dilapidations.

Apparently I can't prove it's a fake review so it has to stand! And as I can't find the berk I can't get him to remove it. So I resorted to a pithy, witty "fuck off" response.

We all get these customers/enquiries from time-to-time.

The important thing now is to ignore any further contact and put a flag against the name and number/email address. In every business I've worked in, this would also be the time to forward the details to the relevant director, and put copies of all correspondence to date and notes of phone calls into an evidence folder. If it kicks off on social media and the review websites the company solicitors may need relevant information to address things.

I've had this type of client come back again a month or two later and try to play nice again because they've everyone else that can do the job has also turned them down. They then start the whole blowing hot and cold cycle again.

Someone needs to be checking the reviews daily for a couple of weeks, and then weekly after that. Google Reviews is usually the first target they go for as it's so easy.

Very lucky escape!

Sounds like her big ego has been dented which she can't handle. Ignore. Bullet dodged

If you reply again, just this.

She wants to bait you in saying something unprofessional

What on earth could she put on social media?! "Wah wah they refused to quote me!"? Anyone with half a brain would see that obviously she would have been the issue there and you look like a respectable company for not just blindly agreeing and then inevitably failing to meet her unreasonable demands.

If they get insistent and start following up with more emails then the one I use is, "Sorry, but this isn't the right project for me".
this is a good one.
from your update it looks like the buggeration factor premium would have to be very high indeed!

The content of your email is noted. I hope you can find someone to fulfill your brief but unfortunately we are extremely busy and do not have the capacity to quote at this time.

Kind regards

@minipie
“Thanks for your response, I wish you luck in your search for someone who fits your requirements.”

^ this is classy

I don’t think you should reply but if you did, I’d simply say “Noted” - it’s the email version of the thumbs up emoji!

I think your response was perfect.