to need a pithy reply to this work email...

[mumto3boysHE]

I'm sat trying to respond professionally to an email just received from a potential customer. Actually, not a potential customer because I turned the work down because I thought it might be more trouble than the job is worth.
And sure enough I've received an email back responding to my polite refusal stating that if I don't want to do the work she would prefer I was just honest about the reason rather than making up an issue that doesn't exist. She apparently is picking up that my company is struggling and makes her wonder whether I would be able to do a quality job!!!!
Then she mentions that she would be recommending across social media and encouraging others to have the same thing done...
After all that, she still wants me to quote, but only if ' I feel I am capable of meeting the brief and availability so she can compare against other quotes'
I'm sitting on my hands... 🤐
I really want to ask her why on earth she would trust me to do the job because she's questioned my honesty, the viability of my company and the quality of our work!

Any ideas on how to word this better than fuck off?

Ignore ignore ignore. Anything else is just giving her ammunition for batshittery.

Be professional and leave it.

Don't ignore, that just gives her a "couldn't even be bothered to reply" to bat at you.
As others have said a simple "Thankyou for your continued interest in our organisation however due to our current workload all future projects are temporarily on hold. We can notify you in future once we have capacity to blah blah blah"

Somebody's trying to get themselves a viral post about crappy companies/angry responses from suppliers that she's tried to blag free stuff from.

Thank you for your continued interest in (company name/product). Unfortunately, as previously stated (give the reason word for word as you did previously).

Best,

m23bhe ltd.

I would quote her a ridiculously expensive price (justified by the quality of service provided) and suggest a really late start date ( due to high demand)

At least she has kindly confirmed your suspicions that she would be a pain in the neck to deal with.

I like Minipie's "Thanks for your response, I wish you luck in your search for someone who fits your requirements." I might say 'feedback' instead of 'response' to make it sound like she's written something worth reading.

I also agree with previous posters who suspect that she hasn't managed to get anyone to do the work for her, or even give her a quote.

Don't you just hate the PA'ness of it!

She sounds like the type to screenshot and post on Facebook so be careful

Please don't replay and be glad you missed a bullet with a nightmare client.

She wanted an outcome that wouldn't work in the way she was expecting so I emailed with an alternative that would work but which we couldn't do. So, I turned down the job without quoting.

Why not 'My client list is completely full over the next few weeks, but thank you for your interest and faith in our company! Best of luck with finding the perfect fit for your project'.

Kill her with kindness then ignore any subsequent communication!

You know when you get that 1st enquiry, either by phone or email, or (in this case) both. 🤔🙄
Well, my colleague dealt with her to start with and said she's going to be trouble but we (eventually) booked in the survey and didn't mentioned our thoughts to our chap. He came back and said "she's mad as box of frogs, you might want to consider adding a twat tax, just in case, because I think we'll earn it"

Don’t reply. You’ve already said no, don’t give her fuel for her fire, just let things go quiet.

Quote a really high figure - enough to make it worth your while. If she complains you can say, “that is my fee for this type of work. Other makers/painters/sellers are available.”.

A twat tax!

love it!! 🤣

She sounds like she'd trash your business online so I'd not reply at all to her.

Apologies, I am already considering a number of different proposals for different projects, that I feel at this moment in time, if I were to commit further company resources, it would have an adverse effect on quality control of the tasks that you would want completing. When my company schedule has more flexibility I could arrange a quotation further down the line, could you ping back with your perspectives if this is suitable arrangement for you ?

Kind reguards etc.

A company I used to work for sort of did the twat tax thing. A quote was made up from different costs, eg travel, analysis, supplier fees, consultation/feedback. If a client had been a pain in the past they would triple the consultation costs to allow for the extra time the client would take up. Best case they went elsewhere, worst case we’d have to work with them but we’d make a decent profit.

Gawd, I'd ignore. Don't engage any further. She sounds nuts.

Thanks everyone. I've enjoyed the replies immensely 😂
I typed out my rant (and then deleted it - very cathartic). I then replied:

Thank you for your continued interest. Unfortunately, as previously stated, we are unable to quote for this work. I wish you luck in your search for someone who fits your requirements.

This is why I love mumsnet 👏😀- well, this and the parking threads, obvs 😂

That's a perfect response OP.

Bear in mind that any reply may be shared on social media, or you may have to post it on social media to prove that you weren't unreasonable etc

I'd just reply saying unfortunately are fully booked at the moment and aren't taking on any new customers and wish her well with the work or project or whatever

Due to high demand for our services, we are currently forced to be selective in the contracts we accept. It is our policy to select those customers who we feel would be the best fit for our business and working practices, and unfortunately on this occasion we would be unable quote for you. We realise this may be disappointing and hope you find an alternative provider who meets your needs.

" Madam, you are correct , after discussions /meeting with you I decided not to do business with you. Unfortunately I am too polite and professional to tell you the reasons why".

And her reply received, as suspected...

"We will let our tenants know and post feedback across social media about not using your poor practice company."

Definitely a lucky escape.