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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 24 months is too early for nursery?

112 replies

RubyEmma212121 · 17/05/2022 19:48

My ds had his second day at nursery. He had two settling in sessions which he loved and enjoyed.

He did 9am to 1pm yesterday and was beaming when I picked him up full of smiles and said goodbye to everyone.

Today he did a long day 8am to 1pm. When I picked him up he seemed disorientated and distressed. His eyes were red raw and they said he'd been crying non stop ever since lunch asking for mummy over and over again.

I asked him if he wanted to go back when we got home and he keeps saying no nursery.

Is this normal? He seemed so happy before so not sure what's changed? Is the new environment no longer exciting and now he realised I'm not there and is experiencing a seperarion anxiety. I asked if anything happened and they said no.

AIBU for having a wobble about leaving him now?

OP posts:
Moancup · 17/05/2022 19:50

Why have you chosen such a goady title if you want advice?

housemaus · 17/05/2022 19:51

It's bound to be hard for them at first - most toddlers go through an adjustment period, I think that's normal. Lots go to nursery younger than that, too, so I don't think it's 'too young' per se - maybe he just needs time, or maybe he's not ready yet. I'd give it a bit longer and then see how he's doing!

moita · 17/05/2022 19:51

You'll upset a lot of people with that title.

Ontobetterthings · 17/05/2022 19:51

Oh here we go.. Another goady post

ChatterMonkey · 17/05/2022 19:51

I think you are still in the settling in period and need to give it some more time.

But I've put yabu as your title is pretty goady for people with younger children that might not have any choice about using nursery.

Hugasauras · 17/05/2022 19:52

It's his second day. It takes time for them to settle. And no, 24 months is not too young but I'm sure you know that, given that his nursery presumably have kids going from 9 months or even younger upwards Hmm

Sherrystrull · 17/05/2022 19:52

My dc both went at 10 months old when I went back to work. They were fine. Surely that's a normal age for most people?

user1487194234 · 17/05/2022 19:52

if you think it is too young for your child don’t send him

bobbythevet · 17/05/2022 19:52

YABU with your title. And it sounds like you're feeding into his anxiety by asking him if he wants to go back. He will not be positive about it if you're not

Giraffesandbottoms · 17/05/2022 19:52

It depends if he needs to go or not. I’m sure he would be fine if left for a longer period if you need to. But if you don’t have to leave him and will feel guilty then I would wait until he’s 3.

Beees · 17/05/2022 19:52

I asked him if he wanted to go back when we got home and he keeps saying no nursery.

Of course he would say he doesn't want to go because he thinks that means he gets to stay home with you.

It's such early days and 2 year olds are perfectly content at nursery, it's not even a long day. I suspect some of it is that he is picking up on the fact you are wobbling over sending him.

Footloose78 · 17/05/2022 19:53

I haven’t/ wouldn’t send mine until 3 when they can clearly communicate with me. I’ve chosen to stay at home until preschool age - but would have chosen a nanny if that hadn’t been an option

SmellyWellyWoo · 17/05/2022 19:53

It can actually be easier for younger children/babies to settle than a two year old. I'd say it's a hard age to be away from their parents for the first time.

mistermagpie · 17/05/2022 19:54

It's normal to have a wobble, of course.

I have three children. The first two started nursery at 11 months and the third at 9 months. This is pretty normal where I live and in my friends group, most people put their children in nursery when they go back to work after maternity leave. I don't think we're the kind of demographic that has nannies, so what else do working parents do?

24 months is plenty old enough. But yes it can take a while to settle (about three years in the case of my eldest!) and being a bit out of sorts in the early days is totally normal. That doesn't mean they won't settle or that misery isn't a nice and stimulating environment for them. I think you need to give it a bit more time.

MolliciousIntent · 17/05/2022 19:54

Maybe you haven't chosen the nursery very well, maybe he's been encouraged to be too dependent, maybe he feels insecure with you and worries you won't come back...

Because no, 2 is not too young for nursery. Plenty of children go much younger than that and have a wonderful time.

HewasH2O · 17/05/2022 19:55

Perhaps 24 months is too old to start nursery then? If they start at a much younger age, they know that mummy or daddy haven't abandoned them and happily settle. At least, that's what I found when my DD starting going to nursery full time when she was 4 months old.

TaVeryMuchLove · 17/05/2022 19:55

Hope you’ve got a thick skin OP. This is likely to be painful.

comealongponds · 17/05/2022 19:56

YABU for being goady

Original poster
RubyEmma212121 · 17/05/2022 19:57

Apologies for goady title that wasn't my intention. It's just my mum said maybe he's still too young (I personally don't think he is). I wasn't sure what to entitle it.. Perhaps on reflection I should of put 'having a wobble about leaving ds at nursery'. Sorry 😕

OP posts:
PinkSyCo · 17/05/2022 19:57

He could be overtired or he could simply not be ready yet. If you don’t need him to go to nursery then I would give it another couple of tries, but if he’s still unhappy I would take him out and try him again in a few months time.

AledsiPad · 17/05/2022 19:57

Two.

Your child is TWO.

Hobbitfeet32 · 17/05/2022 19:57

If he doesn’t go to nursery what will you do for childcare whilst you work?

rainyskylight · 17/05/2022 19:57

Horrible judgy title. Ugh. YABU.

NursieBernard · 17/05/2022 19:57

24 months Hmm No, 2 years old is not too early for a child to go to nursery.

artisanbread · 17/05/2022 19:58

Mine went at 6 months and 8 months. They're 10 and 12 now and seem to have survived the ordeal. It is often harder for them to settle when they are older as they are more aware.