To think 24 months is too early for nursery?

[RubyEmma212121]

My ds had his second day at nursery. He had two settling in sessions which he loved and enjoyed.

He did 9am to 1pm yesterday and was beaming when I picked him up full of smiles and said goodbye to everyone.

Today he did a long day 8am to 1pm. When I picked him up he seemed disorientated and distressed. His eyes were red raw and they said he'd been crying non stop ever since lunch asking for mummy over and over again.

I asked him if he wanted to go back when we got home and he keeps saying no nursery.

Is this normal? He seemed so happy before so not sure what's changed? Is the new environment no longer exciting and now he realised I'm not there and is experiencing a seperarion anxiety. I asked if anything happened and they said no.

AIBU for having a wobble about leaving him now?

Try not to worry OP. My DS went 4 days a week from 14 months (short days at first and a staggered start) but he’s thrived!

The ups and downs are so normal in the first two-three weeks at nursery. Give it three weeks and see how you’re both doing.

It’s good for him to go and will help his school readiness. He’s definitely not too young!

DC went at 9 months because I had to get back to work so we could afford minor things like a house, food heating etc. As it turned out she loved the carefully chosen nursery and had lots of fun and totally thrived with all the interaction with other children and care from skilled and caring early years practitioners.

She managed to progress to primary school ok and is now an absolutely amazing teenager sitting her GCSEs despite loosing one parent aged 8, the other parent keeping things going in a really demanding job with no family within 100 miles and the lockdown chaos.

I am not sure what you are trying to prove? In my experience (I work with disadvantaged children at risk) most children can and will thrive in a good setting. We fund places for for very young disadvantaged children who cannot yet access free places for this reason. When it comes to the free 15 hours, one issue seems to be children attending long days twice a week rather then the hours being spread out so there is too long a gap for them between sessions.

24 months = 2 years. Your child is 2 now, and no they aren't too young, it takes a period of adjustment for anyone to settle in to anything new. Ever come home from your second day at a new job hating it?

You’re not very bright are you?

Not out of touch thank you. Actually set up my own business freelancing when on maternity leave so no career worries.

My point was, that I, personally, would choose a nanny/child-minder/ nanny share over nursery for a child until they are of preschool age. Because that is my preference, unlike some posters who’s preference is a nursery setting.

Not saying my preference is ‘better’ than the other, just that it’s my preference.

Questionable thread title aside, I do think you should trust your instincts and not just dismiss this as 'having a wobble' necessarily. It could be that he is just settling in and will be fine OR it might not be the right setting for him. Give it another week or two and see. I pulled DD2 from her first nursery because I felt it wasn't right, she seemed so very distressed when I picked her up and was unsettled at home as well. She was also around 2 at the time. I couldn't put my finger on why exactly, it was gut instinct. I started her at another nursery and she was fine.

Totally agree but there's people on here that sent their babies to nursery at 6 weeks and proclaim it was the best thing ever for the baby. They actually believe an infant can socialise.

Don't be ridiculous. We didn't have the luxury of 39 weeks of paid mat leave when my DD was tiny or the right to a year off. 6 months max, most of that on £40pw. Still, I didn't neglect my DD or my career, so we're both benefitting now.

Two year olds can take a while to settle and they cry because they can't fully articulate their feelings yet. They need to get to know the staff and children and learn it is a safe place even when mum or dad is gone. It can take a little while and then suddenly everything falls into place and they run in happily.

Two isn't too young but it can be one of the age stages where they take a little longer to settle.

24 months lol your son is 2

My daughter started nursery at 2 and it was horrendous to start with - we couldn't go in with her for settling in sessions due to covid so we literally had to hand her over at the gate to virtual strangers who she'd met once outdoors. She screamed and screamed at handover for the first 2 weeks and we were feeling like you - had we made a terrible mistake. But the photos and videos we were sent showed her smiling and having fun by day two so we knew they were working to help her. Something clicked in week three and she started going in without tears, then by week four she was actively looking forward to going - talking about nursery at breakfast and pulling to get to the gates and get in.

It's horrible seeing your child upset and feeling that you "caused" the distress, but try to hang in there and give it a good few weeks - and try to talk about all the fun things he can do there.

It's not too young, many children start at a much younger age, it's just that two year olds struggle to settle in more than younger children as they are more aware and have spent more time at home with a parent. It's actually easier if they start before one.

Nope, not too young. Mine went from 9 months and I went from 3 months. It’s actually tougher the older they get to settle, but I’d expect it to take a couple months really for him to fully adjust to the routine.