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In 2019 my new neighbours (who are renting) moved in. First met them outside - their sofa wouldn't fit through their front door and I suggested they access through my garden instead. A few days later I had them over for tea and biscuits and we always had a chat when we bumped into one another.
A month or so later, my father came to visit for a fortnight and took on a major DIY project. Bit of a pain as we had to replace the stairs for the second time in a month (the company had previously sent me a faulty staircase, but we only noticed halfway through fitting). At 7 in the evening the neighbour came to complain about the noise and I apologised and we agreed to knock it on the head. He then went on to complain about the noise the previous week and I said I had no idea it had been bothering him and wished he'd said something at the time so that I could have done something about it. He then had a go at me, (I'm supposed to magically know what he and his wife will hear and be irritated by apparently) and said he wanted piece and quiet when he got home at 6 and if this happened again he'd be complaining to the council. I wrote this off as 'venting' and considered that the end to the matter, but remembered what he said about 6pm and thought that was reasonable enough.
In fairness, replacing the previous owner's attempt at a staircase (which was frankly dangerous) probably was a bit noisy, but in my defence, the neighbours' landlord had told me that the house had been soundproofed (it was only after this incident that he admitted he hadn't done the stairs actually), and since that the previous nice neighbours had played drums and I could barely hear them, I genuinely was surprised that the new neighbours could hear the work taking place. The neighbour's landlord himself had had an ongoing building site for about 18 months when he first bought the place - not always at entirely sociable hours - but we forgive him as, ultimately the work did need doing and he's generally a thoroughly decent guy.
For the neighbours, however, there is obviously a one-strike-and-you're-out policy. About a week later, the lady next door shouted loudly at her husband that she 'wished the neighbour (i.e. me) would SHUT UP!!!' as I was doing some finishing off work at 10 to 6 in order to be done by 6 as requested. I thought this sort of passive-aggressiveness was fairly immature and best ignored. While they will just about acknowledge me if I say good morning to them they then immediately turn the other way and pretend to be too busy to talk. My mother visited me, said good afternoon to them and they looked straight through her also. I generally ignore them as a rule as that's how they seem to like things and if they want to keep to themselves so be it.
Problem is this. I was away for two years during which time only my housemate was in the house. I got stuck abroad from December 2019 until this year due to depressing circumstances I won't bore you with. Before leaving, I went to the neighbours' door, told them I'd be away, why, and how to contact me should they need to for any reason. They looked a bit embarassed, but I pretended it was a normal conversation and said goodbye, leaving my contact details.
SO THAT WAS THE BACKGROUND
On my return from being abroad (but with the house always occupied by my housemate), I discovered that the boundary fence which I own was in poor condition. The neighbours still aren't talking to me apparently, so I wrote them a friendly letter asking for access to maintain the fence, while accepting that if they didn't want me in their garden, I'd have to find another way of marking the boundary (to be honest, a couple of posts and a single wire would suit me as I don't really like high fences in very small gardens, but I may as well maintain the fence for their/ their landlord's benefit plus the fact that they could simply erect a still taller fence on their side should I remove my own). I said they always seemed very busy and when might we have a chat?
They passed the letter on to their landlord who contacted me. He agreed I could have access to do the work. Today myself and my housemate took the fence down so it could be worked on and new posts fitted. We discovered the neighbours have painted their side of my fence with a modern synthetic paint without asking either of us for permission, but not painted their other fence which is presumably their landlord's property. The original finish was a genuine limewash, the timber (expensive) untreated pine boards and so 100% compostable (could have been used in the garden for lots of good things), whereas the new paint has meant the timber fence is landfill material when it eventually needs removal, which is pretty annoying with the current price of timber being what it is. Contacted the landlord who said he would come and sand it off, but I compromised and suggested he take on the painting of his side if his tenants want it to look nice as my limewash won't stick to it anyway.
Looking more carefully, they have also painted the front boundary fence with a synthetic paint rather than the much better linseed oil based paint it was originally painted with. Which was totally unnecessary and won't protect the timber as well as the original linseed oil finish even though I have to accept it looks brighter and whiter, but that's not the point.
I suppose I'm cheesed off that the neighbours want it both ways. I feel either they should talk to me (even though I was abroad, I would have given them suitable paint or limewash), or they should keep themselves to themselves without being, I feel, intrusive. And I'd like them to at least give me 10 minutes warning to shut the windows when they light their barbecue and the wind is coming my way, while we're on the subject.
Okay, so AIBU, and what do I do now? I don't really care that much about what has been done, but I don't want this kind of thing happening again.