Women "blank" pregnant woman on train, while men expected to rise to give seat (embarrassing double standards?)

[CurvyBirdy]

Today a heavily pregnant woman got on a full train.

3 women saw her (eyes went back down to the ground)
3 men saw her, all in unison immediately rose.

This is really embarrassing behaviour - AIMU

Well, that's just an example. The short answer is, we don't know what might be affecting them. I had major surgery a few years ago. Once I was up and about, I looked fine from the outside and was keen to build up my fitness, but I wouldn't have been able to stand for a long period on public transport.

As a reasonably fit (now) middle-aged woman I would offer my seat if I could be confident the standing woman was pregnant and not overweight.

In my experience, it's usually women who get up & offer seats & assistance to pregnant women, those with children, the disabled & the elderly.
The men ignore everything & just hide behind their Metro/Standard or stare out the window.

@Organictangerine Why should you get a seat just because your dad ejaculated inside your mum?

Thanks for saving me the trouble of replying, this is the most epic response! 😂😁

I thought it was a grave sin to assume someone is pregnant, in case they're just overweight.

I'd always offer my seat to someone who looks like they need it more than I do, or who asks.

When I was slightly pregnant and feeling queasy in the mornings, I gave my seat to a more obviously pregnant woman who looked uncomfortable, while numerous men in suits hid behind their newspapers.

I was offered a seat on the Tube once the whole time I was pregnant, and that was when I was going home to start my maternity leave at 36 weeks.

On the other hand in my 40s (and no, I don't have a big tummy) I have been randomly offered seats by younger people - perhaps I just looked a bit knackered! I take it kindly rather than being offended that they might think I'm old or fat!

i was on the underground with a walking stick. I noticed the people who got up for me were predominately black young men. I wouldn't normally notice but it was so striking on my last visit.

This is going back to the 1990s - the only people that offered me a seat on the tube were women.

Once I got on a tube full of seated men. Another standing woman shouted out ‘ which of you gentlemen is going to offer your seat to this woman’!

Personally I think people are so engrossed in their phones/iPads etc they often don’t notice.

People are not obligated to offer a seat. It would be kind, yes if they would in certain situations, if they are aware of them. I would never tap somebody on the shoulder, to ask for a seat tough.

I found the opposite when I was pregnant and commuting - women were much more likely to notice that I was pregnant and offer me their seat. I don’t know what people’s expectations of men are and what is or isn’t fair, but IME women much more observant and quick to offer. By far.

Agree - me too First trimester my back, legs, everything ached. Fatigue was devastating.

I think if a pregnant woman or in fact anybody unsteady on their feet or with a disability that needs a seat may need to take some responsibility and ask if anybody would be able to give up their seat.

If somebody is very obviously in need of a seat I will always give mine up immediately if I notice but sometimes it just isn't that obvious or people are worried about causing offence.

Sometimes people might be staring out of the window listening to something with their earphones in and just not realise.

I think it's partly that women can be more wary of getting it wrong, or offending someone. Imagine giving up your seat to a woman who wasn't pg! 😳I think men can be less overthinking than women sometimes.

Every single time I was offered seats during pregnancy it was by other women

Personally I think people are so engrossed in their phones/iPads etc they often don’t notice.

I often take a nap when on a bus

I get the bus daily with my 22 month old and she sits next to me, because I am tall and its just not physically possible for her to sit on much older folks shoot me looks (I am not even sat in a priority seat) but the majority of them are using the bus before their pass is valid anyway so I do not care tbh.

When I was pregnant, women would often offer me their seat. YABU

There's always an excuse when it's women behaving badly, isn't there? PPs tying themselves in knots to justify the behaviour, which would be torn apart if it was men doing it.
I especially like the fact that three women were not a robust enough sample, yet of course, if the tables were turned, three men would absolutely be enough to conclude that all men are bastards etc.
I find it utterly inexplicable and bizarre that people are so ridiculous in the name of feminism. Stuff like this does no-one any favours.

This is simply not true. 3 people in one reported instance isn't a proper sample for any kind of conclusion, for any purpose. It is nonsense that people would post that "all men are bastards" on the basis of an opposite example. I've seen many a thread where women who post about not being offered a seat (by men and women) are told to just deal with it, that pregnancy isn't an illness and pregnant women deserve no additional consideration from anyone, that people who don't give up their priority seat will all have hidden reasons for needing it, etc etc. No mention whatsoever of AMAB.

Wow @ElCoh what has happened to you to make you so aggressive and bitter?

Being pregnant itself doesn't make anyone deserving of a medal - but annoyingly it can come with a whole host of problems that make standing on a long journey difficult, painful and even dangerous. Of course others with physical difficulties or disabilities should also get priority seating, but being pregnant can be a massive physical assault on the body. Plus the fact that if the bus or train slams on its brakes, a pregnant woman would be less able to steady herself and this could harm herself or the baby more easily than a fully able bodied person.

When I was pregnant far more women gave me a seat than men. I was shocked by how rare it was to be offered a seat though. Very depressing. I also noticed that most of the women offering me a seat weren’t English (strong foreign accents). I think England has pretty horrible attitudes to pregnancy and pregnant women. Bit like @romdowa above who seems to think that a woman working full time on her feet until a few days before birth is something to boast about. I think it’s tragic.

If you are upset that your 3 women are not considered enough of a sample, do you accept other people’s anecdotal accounts of their experiences of small numbers of women? If not, why not?

Throughout my pregnancy I found women far more caring a d supportive than men.

Also with the greatest respect its not always that obvious whether someone is pregnant or just large, (Unfortunately l have made that mistake previously)
I did find it was men who offered me a seat on the bus, when l was heavily pregnant and could no longer walk to work.