Women "blank" pregnant woman on train, while men expected to rise to give seat (embarrassing double standards?)

[CurvyBirdy]

Today a heavily pregnant woman got on a full train.

3 women saw her (eyes went back down to the ground)
3 men saw her, all in unison immediately rose.

This is really embarrassing behaviour - AIMU

I generally see the opposite in terms of genders of the people willing to offer a seat.

Did you miss the part where I said I asked politely? I didn't expect people to magically know my circumstances, however when a heavily pregnant woman who is clearly not looking particularly well, is politely asking for a seat from anyone on the bus and not one person offers, I think that's quite a sad reflection on society.

There are so many things wrong with second part of your comment that I really don't know where to start.

It was mainly other women standing for me when I was pregnant

I remember being very heavily pregnant and standing on a bus, no one offered me a seat. I just thought it was really a shame that people are so uncaring as I know I couldn’t sit down whilst seeing someone so obviously more in need of it than myself. I know pregnancy isn’t an illness but if you’re huge it would be nice for one single person to offer. Luckily it was a one off to be on the bus but I got off it not thinking very much of humankind.

"embarrassing double standards?"

No. It's one specific instance that tells you precisely nothing about whether women or men are more likely to volunteer their seat, or if there is some kind of societal "double standard" about only expecting the poor old men to volunteer their seats.

Nearly all trains have priority seating. When I was pregnant and travelling by train, I would have gratefully accepted people volunteering to offer me their seat. It rarely happened though. So I just asked those in priority seats, who on superficial appearance seemed least likely to need to sit there, to move. Everyone I asked did, regardless of their sex.

Please @KevinTheKoala start. I would like to know where the entitlement comes from? You chose to get pregnant. Do you also want a gold medal?

Why should you get a seat just because your dad ejaculated inside your mum?

I would like to know where the entitlement comes from?

Why is it entitled? Why do they have priority seats with pregnant woman as one of the images?

Why should you get a seat just because your dad ejaculated inside your mum?

fair point!

That poster sounds like someone who would most definitely not offer their seat.

Probably because we should never assume someone is pregnant in case they're not! Women are more sensitive to this than men so might not have wanted to say the wrong thing and offend the woman.

Yes pregnant women should be offered a seat and I refuse to believe a whole bus full of youngish people ALL had hidden disabilities

In fact I have a ‘hidden’ disability and still offer my seat to pregnant women

I am so pleased nobody offered that as an excuse for not giving me a seat when I was commuting to work while heavily pregnant. I don’t know what my reaction would have been to be honest. I probably would have just stared at them in amazement.

This is a rare occurrence in London. It always been women that offer their seats. Two occasions when I was standing I have asked a man to give up their seat for a pregnant woman and they have refused. When men do offer a seat it’s typically younger “workie” type of men (the ones who have been on construction sites for example). The suits don’t seem to care.

I broke my finger and was wearing a bandage on my hand and a woman offered her seat to me (didn’t need it though). It’s terrible!

I always offer my seat, but I think the ignoring of pregnant/elderly/disabled folk on public transport is generally appalling.
And don't get me started on kids (those who are too young to pay/kids price) sitting while adults stand...

This is isn't about offering seats or not offering seats is it?
It's the "embarrassing double standards" point. Look! These women are worse than men!
Maybe you could monitor male behaviour generally, and not extrapolate standards of behaviour from one observed incident.

I remember when I was pregnant but not overly showing, another pregnant woman got on the train and looked pointedly at me as though I should give up my seat. She ignored all the men.
But it was my first day back on the commute having had terrible morning sickness and dizziness. I asked a man to give her his seat and he did. But she spent the rest of the journey glaring at me.
Which is a longwinded way of saying, you have no idea why those women didn't offer you a seat and I'm struggling that your response was to immediately post on MN about how awful women are ... Also very surprised that three men jumped up to offer a seat. Didn't ever see that happen. When I was heavily pregnant, I always had to ask someone to give me a seat if I felt I was going to faint, etc.
But I did enjoy the image you painted of the men rising from their seats in unison like a synchronised dance routine.

@ElCoh

Thats actually really mean and its very dangerous to stand on a moving bus especially if pregnant. Think of the devastating trauma if the pregnant passenger banged their bump on anything at force?

Its about safety as much as comfort.

You sound lovely.

Well I don’t think its a fair point 😀

my mum and dad made my brother in the same way they made me

my brother has never required a person to give him their seat and unless pregnant i never have either (didnt use public transport while pregnant)

pregnancy obviously isn’t an illness but it can be very uncomfortable at times and for some women incredibly hard

Yep. Or mums who let their toddler take up a seat while the elderly stand. Sit them on your lap fgs!!

Hey Bin! That's my baby girl's name!

This is not my experience at all. It always seems to be other women who get up, if anyone does.

I guess you meet the people you meet on the day. Those particular women may also have been pregnant, or have some disabilities. Any other men who didn’t stand might also have reasons.

Completely contrary to my experience.

since I have had a visible bump, men completely blank me and women always offer a seat. I get the tube daily

one man actually locked eyes with me and raced me to a seat when I was 32 weeks with a huge bump

This wasn't my experience when I was commuting on the tube while pregnant. I was normally offered a seat and it was about 50/50 men and women. I did notice that young people (under 30) were much more likely to immediately offer a seat.

So if someone with crutches got on the bus and asked for your seat would you ask how they hurt themselves and analyse their life choices before you decided whether or not they were worthy of sitting down?