Women "blank" pregnant woman on train, while men expected to rise to give seat (embarrassing double standards?)

[CurvyBirdy]

Today a heavily pregnant woman got on a full train.

3 women saw her (eyes went back down to the ground)
3 men saw her, all in unison immediately rose.

This is really embarrassing behaviour - AIMU

My experience when pregnant was the reverse. I remember one occasion when the only person to offer me a seat was a woman down the far end of the carriage, whilst all the men studiously buried themselves in their newspapers and phones. We took pleasure in knocking each of their newspapers/arms as we swopped over.

Well the entitlement to a seat comes from TFL who decided that pregnant women should have priority. However, not many people expect a seat just for being pregnant. Pregnancy can actually cause a multitude of other illnesses and problems that can't always be predicted. Yes, we may choose to have a child - we do not choose to have the illnesses that might come with it. Unless you are advocating for humanity to just die out then women are going to get pregnant, it's just how life works. Birth rates are actually falling, the increase in population is because health are means we are living longer and not dying in infancy - not because too many women are having too many babies.

Because children don't have disabilities which make standing on a moving bus difficult! I was born with one of my invisible disabilities that makes standing on a moving bus difficult

So they should sit on the parents knee?

If the men were really so quick to stand up, the women may well sensibly have concluded that it was pointless for them to do the same.

Being pregnant made me dizzy and faint in trimester 1 and 3, and nauseous. I doubt al three have a physical disability.

It could be they're not sure the woman is pregnant. Some people are just rude. I had a woman shove past me to get my seat, I had a station attendant tell me to move when my blood sugar dropped, vision darkened and I had to crouch down at 32w.

Maybe the women were also pregnant. Maybe they were disabled. Maybe they’re just dickheads?

Who were sitting in the priority seats? Those people should always offer first whether male or female. I usually wait for one of them to offer. If they don’t then I do. I also never sit in the priority seats in the first place.

When men do offer a seat it’s typically younger “workie” type of men (the ones who have been on construction sites for example). The suits don’t seem to care

I think there is truth in this, but I would say white men in suits don’t seem to care. Black men in suits or similar generally very considerate on public transport in my experience (travelled a lot while pregnant).

Hey Bin! That's my baby girl's name!

you let a man ejaculate in you?! and called your daughter bin 😆

I found both women and men happy to stand with when I was commuting when pregnant. If no one offered I would ask and was never refused! I tend to zone out on my commute so wouldn't necessarily notice a pregnant woman get on the train but would give up my seat if asked.

Presumably not if they are also entitled to the priority seats

I got on a bus at 6 months pregnant with twins. So very visibly and massively pregnant MASSIVE.

An elderly man walking with two sticks got on the stop after me. No seats. The only bugger that got up was me.

Also embarrassing behaviour don't you think?

(Just so you all know, I did loudly opine on why the only person to give a disabled infirm man a seat was the visibly heavily pregnant one. Who knows though, maybe every single other person on that bus had a hidden disability)

There have been loads of posts on MN where people have assumed a woman is pregnant when she isn't, so maybe these women were mumsnetters and were afraid of offending the pregnant woman in case she wasn't.

I found it was mostly women who offered their seats to me on the tube. It was mostly in early pregnancy when I wasn't showing that I needed a seat, so I tended to have to ask. Later on, I was usually fine.

Speaking completely anecdotally here but I didn't find that it was to do with willingess to offer a seat but because women tended to look around and notice other people more. A lot of men on the tube were often fairly oblivious to their surroundings, plugged into headphones or reading something, so they just didn't notice. When men noticed me standing, most tended to offer their seat too.

Maybe it's geographical as everyone on here seems to have different experiences.

Maybe they thought men should offer their seat first. Maybe they thought whoever was sat in the priority seats should offer first.

I don't think selfish behaviour is exclusive to women.

It was drilled into us as DC if someone else was in need of a seat you moved, any adult especially someone vunerable it is automatic throughout the family.

I have seen men, women, teenagers ignore the elderly and pregnant when they need a seat, rudeness comes from all sides.

Was pregnant lady good looking? If 3 men offered?

Yes but I didn't demand seats on trains!

What is it with the race to jump up and shout "BUT THEY COULD HAVE INVISIBLE DISABILITES" about every single person who chooses to act poorly ie not giving up seats, parking inappropriately in disabled spaces etc.

Let's just absolve everyone of shitty behaviour because everyone could have an invisible disability, shall we 🙄

When I was pregnant it was always women who offered me a seat

This is all very presumptuous.

My right leg is still recovering post accident which left me unable to walk. To anyone who doesn’t know me I just look like an average fit able young woman but, although I can generally walk short distances without issue, I can’t stand still for long periods of time or my toes go numb and I get awful cramps down my leg.

Got enough now @CurvyBirdy?

Erm because it's true? I'd prefer not to be judged a twat because I don't give my seat up. I'd prefer the person to think 'maybe they have a reason not to stand'

When I was heavily pregnant and commuting during a heatwave I found that men often offered me a sea before women 9/10 times. I actually found it surprising that women weren’t more helpful given that statistically most of them would have gone through pregnancy themselves.

Did she work as a hairdresser on a moving vehicle? Apples and oranges.