Now that you've had children do you wish you'd had them younger?

[teainbedplease]

The general trend seems to be to have kids in your 30s, but now that you've had kids do you wish you'd started your family earlier?

I had mine at 33 and 35 years old.

Met DH, settled down and had DC in my 30s. This was exactly as I planned it and what I thought was the smart way. I thought people who settled down for life in their 20s were missing out on all the fun and wanted to establish a career before even considering DC. Looking back, in my 20s I did a lot of the things that were supposed to be fun but didn't actually enjoy my time much. Once I had DC I found that, despite all industry talk about wanting to be family friendly, my career didn't really work with family life- unless you have a stay at home partner and don't mind never seeing your children.

With hindsight, if I had my DC earlier I would have been better placed to choose a career that worked with DC. I would also have felt young enough to change careers/focus on promotion once the DC left home. As it is, my DC are leaving soon and I would like to do something for myself but had menopausal brain fog and lack the energy I would have had 10 years ago.

An interesting post. I had mine at 28 and 30. It was tough having them close together but the bonus is I'm not stretching out the long toddler years. It was perfect as I was able to enjoy my 20s yet still be young enough to parent my little angels. I would not like to have kids in my late 30s as I'm now starting to get some glorious free time tbh ! my friend has had a (surprise) 3rd- her older kids are 7 and 11 she's gonna spend her life picking up kids from primary school - I'll be jetting off on termtime all inclusive bargain holidays 😂😂

Didn't meet my DH till I was 33 then couldn't afford to have any of our own as I was made redundant and DH had 2 of his own from his previous marriage. Then we had fertility problems when we were ready. So adopted DS and DD when I was 45 and DH 50. I'm a much calmer person now and much more able to cope given they both had additional needs. so in some ways would have been nice to have them earlier but we wouldn't have the children we do.

Yes and no. Financially couldn't have afforded it younger (im the main earner plus have twins 💴 💴 ) but I'd like 4 children and that would mean having final one if I can at 40 which is pushing my personal limits

No way. I loved my twenties being child free, had a blast. I was 31, 33 and 37.

Yes, but we tried for 5 years. If it had been as I'd hoped I'd be five years further along now. Yes those 5 years really make a difference. I have 4 between 15-22 and I'm tired.

No, I had mine at 25, 27 and 29. My life is mine to do as I please now. DC3 is 23, has his Masters and starts his first real job (using his education) on Monday. I'm 53 and I had them at the perfect time for me. Menopause + school age children ..... it'd be awful for them and me.

I had mine at nearly 30 and 33. I definitely wish we had them sooner, but fertility issues got in the way. Nothing to do with my age though, I'm just watching MIL being in her late 60s with DC and she won't/can't look after them because she struggles with how intense kids are (especially two at the time). I don't want to do that to my kids, I really want to help them out and be a hands on grandmother. I worry that I will be too old for them!!

@erikbloodaxe mine are 8& 10 I can't wait for those days 😂I absolutely LOVE my kids but life before them seems like a distant memory were you just fended for yourself and did what you wanted. I adore the ages mine are at tho but I wouldn't start over again lol

I was 31. To the wrong man so its hard work at times. However at 50 I should be 'free' and hopefully still young and well enough to do my own thing !

I had mine at 21. I would rather I had been 24ish. Those few years make a difference. However, I’m glad I’m a young mum. It didn’t impact my career as I had him straight after uni, took a year off work and then started building my career. It was very hard financially, but luckily dp and I got on our feet before the real expenses start (babies are only as expensive as you want them to be- we went to free baby clubs, walked everywhere, bought everything, including clothes, second hand…although that was hard to afford). My mum cut her hours to part-time (she was nearing 60 and planning this anyway) and was young enough to look after him while I worked. In fact, the family support has been amazing. However, I think mid 20s-30s is probably the most well rounded age to start having children and depends on everyone’s personal circumstances (based off this thread). I’ll probably be a lot older before I have another so I’ll get some comparison in the future!

Could have been a year or 2 earlier, but otherwise no (34 and 36).
Carefree 20s were amazing and it really would not be the same experience if you have children early and would be free to travel and such in your 50s. I had the best time and wouldn't swap those experiences for anything.
Plus I was senior enough at work that I didn't need to worry about discrimination and now can just do pretty much what I want and set my own schedule. This was most certainly not the case when just starting the career. I know plenty of people somehow managed but must be super hard.
Of course depends on who you socialise with as well. DCs friends' parents are all about the same age as us.

I had my first at 27, it was a perfect age for me. I couldn't cope with little ones now in my 40s.

No. I had mine late. I don't mourn my freedom as I had plenty of it an had plenty of fun. Plus my careers at point where I picked it right back up post mat leave with no issue and can afford child care.

I had mine at 29, 30 and 33 which was perfect for me. I had the degree, the good job, the husband and the house and it seemed the next logical step to get on with having children, especially as the job came with excellent maternity benefits. No regrets.

I would have loved to have had mine earlier, purely so I could have enjoyed knowing her longer and for her to have me in her adulthood as long as possible. It makes me sad I won't get to see her turn 50 most likely, 45 if I'm lucky. Which also means I won't be around for any grandchildren that long. I was fortunate enough to have great grandparents around for years, and still have grandparents because my older generations had children in their early 20s.

No had mine at 27 and 28 which was perfect for me

wish id done a little earlier about 34 as i would deffo had another.
i was 37 when i fell pregnant and 38 when i gave birth.
but ive more money now and a lot more chill about every day things ?
i am very tired a lot and wonder how ill do it at 50 lol and have a 11/12 year old!?

I had mine at 19 and 22 so no. But I also don't wish I'd had them older.

Yes I do, had mine at almost 36 and 39. Wish I'd of had them 5-6 years earlier. I loved my care free 20s but I do worry if they have kids at my age I'll be too old to look after them 😭

No….because then I wouldn’t have had this one! 😊

Plus 16 years of IVF gave me no choice……

Yes I wish I'd had them around ten years earlier but didn't meet DH until we were in our 30s PCOS and irregular cycles meant I knew we'd have a battle on our hands.
We ended up with a 6 year gap. And I count us so lucky to even have a gap.

First at 29 and it worked perfectly in terms of life stages. Maybe a year earlier if anything.

I had all 4 of my kids in my 20s and glad I did. I wouldn't want to be pregnant now or starting over with a newborn at the age I am now (34).

I had mine at 41. I’m very happy with things as they are. I’d achieved all I wanted for me first which is making me very content to put DD first in everything.