To be upset husband has booked a ‘novelty’ restaurant?

[trapperjohna]

It’s my 50th next Saturday. DH told me he’d book a nice restaurant and I was really looking forward to it as we rarely ever eat out. I was expecting to go somewhere nice in central Liverpool, he knows I love the waterfront so I was thinking he’d book somewhere around there.

Today he’s revealed he’s booked a place in Sheffield (which is annoying enough in itself, 90 minute drive for a meal and it won’t be relaxing at all) which is a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it. He’s booked it for the teens as well. I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun.

But it’s not me at all. I’m very self-conscious and even though it’ll all be a joke the thought of the staff verbally abusing me makes me anxious. I’ll end up taking something to heart and getting upset.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner.

I've just looked at the website. It sounds like a truly awful burger place and it's got a large side-order of misogyny with all the 'Karen' nonsense.

I didn’t even make the connection with the Karen memes, god now I want to go even less because I’m in the age group that gets targeted by them memes.

Does he not know you at all? How on earth could he think you would enjoy that?

I like 'banter' and insulting humour, but I'd still be SERIOUSLY annoyed if my partner booked that for my birthday, especially a milestone one! The menu looks boring, more like somewhere you may drop in for lunch impromptu, not somewhere you choose after browsing places to take someone for their birthday. Put your foot down OP. He can go there with his mates, your teens (if they'd like it) another time if he wants to go. Your 50th should be a relaxing, special restaurant experience. The drive wouldn't impress me either, but I suppose worth it for somewhere you'd really be happy to go. This isn't that!

I presume it's the Karen one, which is bloody offensive and misogynistic anyway.

Are you sure it's not a bluff?

Could he have planned a surprise party or something and he's trying to distract you? Have you seen a booking confirmation?

F*ck that, expect a load of 50th jokes about being old etc

I genuinely do not see the enjoyment on this American induced BS.

I have a sense of humour, just paying to be insulted by a stranger is not on my funny list.

Tell him to get f*cked

No thank you.

All you need to say.

Don't go. If he thought it's fun, can go by himself then.

I’d book a nice restaurant for yourself and some friends for the same time. Go out, do what you want and enjoy yourself. Tell twat husband his ideas are appalling and you are hoping he has a nice time there.

I’d be wondering how well he knows you or how thoughtful he is when he books this sort of place for your special birthday.

And it's a No from me.

YANBU I think I'd have cried if my DH had taken me here for my 50th. Thankfully he didn't, he took me to a nice place where I picked up covid instead.

Oh god I'd hate that too. Imagine him calling you a spoilsport as well when you said you'd rather not go to that particular restaurant for YOUR birthday! fair enough it was for his own, i'd tell you to suck it up, why would he want you to go somewhere you won't enjoy? What an ass

Is this actually real @trapperjohna?

Put your foot down. It’s your birthday, not his. He’s the one that’s messed up by booking something so off. Remember that and don’t be guilted.

Oh op that's rubbish and I'd be totally the same as you, this restaurant would be my idea of hell and I'd like to think my dh would know that.

Definitely do not go and get him to try harder and book something better.

I know you shouldn't have to op but could you kill him with kindness.tgank him for booking but really calmly explain how it's making you feel.coyld you all book somewhere else as you don't want to feel like this and be a mood Hoover on your birthday.i say this only because you mention your anxious so I doubt you feel able to be factually angry with him and pull him up on this shit idea.which you'd be well within your right to Do!
Don't let this make u feel worse about yourself.
Wear some thing really comfy,that makes you feel good.clothes are meant to fit you remeber so buy something fab.
And feel good about yourself your not fat and disgusting your exactly where you are and that beautiful.

@Patienceisntvirtuous

I think he was so genuinely excited by the restaurant he was willing to make a long drive for it😂

It sounds hideous and not remotely funny and having looked it up I would be saying no just on the basis that it’s basically a burger place and if I was going out for a birthday meal I wouldn’t be wanting burger and fries .

Quite!

Just say no thanks OP and don't go. No need to get anxious just tell him it's not your thing. He can take the kids another time.

He's being a tit.

Don't go. Tell him you won't go. Book something you'll enjoy. It's your 50th, for goodness sake! The golden rule is that she who has the birthday chooses the venue. That goes double for landmark birthdays.

There is absolutely no way I’d go. I really hate the whole Karen trope as it’s total misogynist bullshit. Your DH must be mad. It’s your 50th, why on earth would he take you to essentially a diner where people are deliberately rude to you. I’d tell him to go on his own and go somewhere decent.

@PoseyFlump.

Yep, genuinely. Though I can see why you’d assume it’s a joke thread or some kind of ad. That’s why I didn’t mention the name of the place in the OP, but mentioning Sheffield gave it away.

This place is all over social media at the moment, it’s how my stepson found it.

What a shit thing to do for your wife's 50th birthday. He thought it would be fun. Didn't matter what you want. Arsehole behaviour.

Don't go and don't let him make you feel bad about that choice. It's your birthday.

Is this a reverse from the team at Karen’s? Only if it is it’s not working!!