To be upset husband has booked a ‘novelty’ restaurant?

[trapperjohna]

It’s my 50th next Saturday. DH told me he’d book a nice restaurant and I was really looking forward to it as we rarely ever eat out. I was expecting to go somewhere nice in central Liverpool, he knows I love the waterfront so I was thinking he’d book somewhere around there.

Today he’s revealed he’s booked a place in Sheffield (which is annoying enough in itself, 90 minute drive for a meal and it won’t be relaxing at all) which is a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it. He’s booked it for the teens as well. I asked why on Earth he’d booked that and he said because he was curious about it and thought it’d be fun.

But it’s not me at all. I’m very self-conscious and even though it’ll all be a joke the thought of the staff verbally abusing me makes me anxious. I’ll end up taking something to heart and getting upset.

DH is annoyed I’ve asked him to cancel it and says I’m a spoil sport, but it’s my birthday dinner.

YANBU at all and your husband has absolutely no right to be annoyed with you for not liking his terrible idea.
It might, just might be a place to go to with a group of good friends who want a raucous night out, or for a stag or hen party, but certainly not for a birthday meal in a nice restaurant with good food and a relaxed, grown-up atmosphere.
I'd be more than annoyed, I would be furious and wouldn't go. You want to celebrate your birthday your way and not be on edge all night surrounded by rude staff and noisy strangers. It sounds hellish.

Apparently DSS17 mentioned it to him initially after seeing it on social media so I think it’s the pair of them that want to go. DD19 is coming as well but isn’t particularly bothered.

If it was one of their birthday’s and they’d wanted to go I probably would’ve put up with it and gone for them. But it’s my birthday and I wanted something I’d like. Also with it being my birthday I’m thinking the staff may interact with me/bother me the most.

OP think of some options that you would like to do. See if any of your friends fancy doing something and tell DP you don’t want to spoil their fun so he can take the kids while you go to theatre/drinks/favourite restaurant/spa (to be honest anything sounds better than that).

@RebelNotHon

Ha chicken bingo wings and a potty Karen for me thanks! Sounds like a Laff if they serve drinks!?
If not it’s a hard no, if so, what are they called?

I hope you've told him very clearly that there is no way you are going to that horrible place.

Yeah your DH is a plank. I would refuse and I would book the restaurant you would prefer.

karens diner- it is all over socials and it looks crap.

I'd have cried if DH booked me that for my 50th (and I'm not a crier), not helped by the fact that I am a Karen and hate anything that perpetuates the whole Karen thing.

If you’re at all self conscious I wouldn’t bother. Apparently a customer asked them to not make comments about her weight and they still did.

fun if you like that kind of thing but personally I wouldn’t enjoy it

It saddens me to read so many threads by women who don’t stand up to their idiot husbands (domestic violence aside). Where are all the strong, empowered women we read about? My ex was a difficult man but my god I stood my ground and didn’t take any of his nonsense. Stand your ground, tell him no to his silly choice and he can like it or lump it.

@Tamzo85 your previous posts on this thread are deliberately goady, so I'm choosing not to engage with you.
And your second sentence makes no sense.

@MoiraQueen

Oh man, imagine if they found that out! And on your birthday!

@Rosycheeks21

Sounds like a teenage boys dream job to wait tables at this place

Oh that sounds awful, absolutely no way I'd go there, especially not for a special birthday. DH can shove his spoilsport where the sun don't shine!

@RebelNotHon

Huh? I just meant it could be fun if they served drinks because it seems so stupid - one would have to be glassy eyed to enjoy it.

You seemed to have the menu so I wonder what the cocktail were called? Have no idea why you’ve taken that bad.

"a novelty restaurant where the staff are intentionally rude to you and it’s all part of it"
That sounds rubbish OP and I would hate it too. Who thinks of these stupid ideas?

As a mother I'm sure you're used to people being rude to you at meal times for free, I know I am!!

What a stupid stupid idea.

It sounds my idea of a nightmare OP. Tell him you’re not going, and if he still wants to, he can go by himself!!

This is a concept restaurant and the concept is all about being rude and unpleasant to middle-aged women, so-called "Karens".
You couldn't pay me to go there.

Yanbu, OP. It's your birthday, you should get to go somewhere you'd look forward to. Karen's might be something he'd like, so he can try it on his birthday.

It looks awful. I can’t imagine the type of person who would enjoy this.

Sittingonabench
"OP think of some options that you would like to do. See if any of your friends fancy doing something and tell DP you don’t want to spoil their fun so he can take the kids while you go to theatre/drinks/favourite restaurant/spa (to be honest anything sounds better than that)."

Good advice op. Your husband, DSS and DD sound very selfish. My husband and daughter always book the types of things I like when it's my Birthday. It may not be their favourite but they get what they want when it's their Birthday. It's all about being considerate to each other. Surely they all should know that this is not your thing?

Op, you keep repeating why it's your idea of hell (fair enough in my opinion)
so just Tell Dp you are not going and as it's your 50th, to rebook something you would actually enjoy.
Get annoyed. Tell him how thoughtless he has been.

My 50th happened during Covid. I spent it freezing my tits off in the garden so I could see family.

I'd still rather have had that than some unfunny, misogynistic burger bar.

OP, you're still talking as if you have to accept this crap and go to your DH's choice of restaurant. You absolutely don't. Just tell him to cancel and book something more to your taste.

SiobhanSharpe
This is a concept restaurant and the concept is all about being rude and unpleasant to middle-aged women, so-called "Karens".
You couldn't pay me to go there.

I am actually so slow that I didn't pick up on the Karen bit. I hate the concept even more now.