To ask dog owners to be extra vigilant around younger children?

[ponderingthisthing]

At the weekend, we were out in the meadows and having our family photos taken by a professional photographer.

A dog came near us and started jumping on the DC, who are 2 and 4. DH tried to fend it off until the owner came and dragged the dog away with some difficulty. By this time both children were extremely scared and upset and were screaming and crying. The owner may have muttered a quiet "sorry" before leaving quickly. No genuine apology or word to check if DC were OK, even though they were obviously extremely disturbed at that point with tears flooding down their faces. She just didn't seem to care.

For us though, it really put a damper on things and unsurprisingly the photography session did not go well. Both children felt unsafe following this (there were other dogs around, many not on lead) and clung to us.

It's not the first time that it's happened, DD was already afraid of dogs due to similar episodes in the past. We try to reassure her that dogs don't normally harm people and that she should just behave normally around them, but I wonder if we should also think more now about safety. Just yesterday, I came across a photo on social media of a little girl who was mauled in the face by a dog. Of course no physical harm came of this episode involving DC, thank goodness, and the dog was probably just over excited. However, the incident is making me feel somewhat uneasy about taking DC to places where dogs can run free.

AIBU to ask that dog owners be extra vigilant with small children around? And obviously, if the dogs are likely to jump up at people, to keep them on lead around small children in public places?

I think people should teach their kids not to be scared of dogs and certain breeds should be banned to ease parents fears

How do you suggest teaching a toddler to not be afraid of dogs though? My DD has always been phobic around dogs despite never having had a bad experience with them, the rest of our family liking dogs and a family member having 2 large dogs that she has been exposed to since she was tiny (and has never gone well, she's always shown a fear response and obviously that is distressing for both her and the dogs so we cant really prolong that). My eldest loves dogs and asks every passing dog walker if she can say hello to their dog, but every child is different and when they have a genuine phobia it's not as easy as just teaching them not to be afraid.

Totally agree

You need mental help.

I hope a dog bites you when you kick it.

If you kick my dog, you'll be the one sent flying.

I've never managed to come across these antisocial dogs like all the posters on here. I've never been jumped on, picnics wrecked etc.

My dog is on lead unless we go to enclosed fields as she is a boisterous twat dog whose recall goes to pot if she so decides. 95% reliable, 5% ignore..so leads and longline are used.
I do get people pulling DC to avoid, but fine, she is big, so probably looks like a shire horse would do to me. The ones that make me smile are the children who ask if she is friendly and can they stroke her and the parents look horrified 😁..she is very friendly and prefers humans to other dogs, she thinks everyone wants to be friends.

We get far more people wanting to say hello than avoid.

@hellrabbitishere

and i also wonder how many of these posters who are moaning about how terrified their kids are of dogs dislike dogs themselves and dont want them anywhere near them and then that transfers to their kids

Me, me! I don't like dogs! They're stupid, smelly, dribbly, unpredictable, unhygienic and ugly. Okay not all dogs will tick every box but pretty much all of them will tick at least two, with ALL of them ticking "unpredictable". I really, really dislike them.

I don't want them in my personal space, I don't want them sniffing at or licking me with the muzzle they've just been sniffing another dog's arsehole / licking their own dick / burrowing in the corpse of a nearby dead rabbit / eating their own sick with; I don't want their slobber or their mud on my clothes or possessions; I categorically do not want them touching my DC; and I see absolutely no reason why, if their owner has them suitably under control, this should ever be an issue. The problem is the owners don't have them under control, and earnestly believe that because THEY don't mind being covered in their dog's saliva anyone who does is being unduly precious.

That leaving completely aside the danger if they do attack or bite.

Sadly my DD still likes the bloody things, my open and unabashed hatred of them notwithstanding, but knows by now not to approach them and to stand still with her arms down if (well when) they approach her uninvited.

Wow! What a thread! Undoubtedly there are poor dog owners and good dog owners, we’ve all come across both. Likewise parents, though I don’t think that’s the case with the OP.

Also, some people lie dogs, some like children, some like both, some like neither. It’s a free country, we’re allowed to be different.

OP, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable and I’m sorry this spoilt your photo session. Very probably, the dog owner thought the best thing to do was remove the dog as quickly as possible rather than engage in lengthy apologies etc but we’ll never know. I might be being too generous.

I personally have a small dog who will jump up at people sometimes, I have tried and tried to stop this behaviour and she’s often on a lead because of it. So I don’t subscribe to the view that dogs rule! Equally, they aren’t robots, just as children aren’t, and I don’t have X-ray vision, so it’s difficult to ever be 100% sure the coast is clear. Personally I take the same view of dog owners as I do of parents, if they are willing to take responsibility and try to correct any bad behaviour, then I feel better than if they ignore it.

I hope your children are ok and grow more confident as they get bigger and older. A healthy fear is always good, of course, which is what I teach my child.

Are you ok?

What are you going to do if you start aggressively approaching a dog and it bites you? You are asking for a bite with this behaviour 🤦🏻‍♀️

No the dogs shouldn't be running up to you, but honestly this behaviour you think is amazing is actually putting you in more danger.

Dogs aren't stupid, if you start waving aggressively at it and threatening it with an object it could bite you!

Rethink your coping strategy here, please for your own safety.

IMO Dogs should be on a lead when outdoors at all times unless specifically in a dog only park.
Small children are excitable and move erratically thus are enticing to a prey animal like a dog.
Owners should remember that if the dog bites, it will be destroyed. And they will have only themselves to blame given the law states the owner is in control of the animal. You cannot have total control off lead.

I agree (and we have a dog), if you can't control if you put it on the lead when there are people nearby. My poor DD was sent flying 3 times when she was aged 3-4 and flattened and I just used to boot any dog which came near her after that.

DO NOT LET YOUR DOG JUMP AT SMALL CHILDREN

No I completely agree

Not personally a dog person at all, but at the crux of it, it's the owners shouting 'oh, she's friendly, just wants a stroke' that is the problem. Toddlers don't know the difference, that's why I teach mine that you don't approach or engage any animal you don't know. But no wonder they get confused

The amount of kids killed recently, then random passerby wants her to stroke unknown animal at face height to her, genuinely turns my stomach, hate it, I pick her up as soon as one approaches

And the poor dogs that get grabbed too by these very kids that are getting mixed messages and think it's okay. Wish there were more dog parks tbh, that would help

I totally agree with you. We live in London and our DS has been really frightened by dogs in parks. I love dogs and hope to get one when my little one is older. I grew up around dogs and our dogs were trained not to jump on people and had really good recall. We were also taught how to behaviour respectfully around dogs and it terrifies me to see how some people let their children approach strange dogs and touch/bother them. I feel there needs to be better education so dogs and children can coexist peacefully.

Can relate to this! Our big rescue dog runs a mile when she sees small children as her only experience of them is being mauled and prodded, so thankfully we dont have to worry about her running up to them (its more the problem of coaxing her back from her hiding place once the kids are gone!)

Just wondering if its more a problem with smaller breeds? E.g. the owners assume noone will be scared of them and they wont do any harm?

Im really conscious that my dog is big and so if she ever ran towards someone it would be scary so am perhaps more vigilant than some of my friends with small breeds who just assume everyone will be ok with it...

But like people have said there will be good and bad owners 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

You sound like a lovely mum strawberry pot

Yes in the past year I have had this happen much more frequently than I have ever noticed before , just the other week we were at the park and in the space of 20 mins a woman walked past with her dog on a long lead not paying attention and the dog jumped up with its paws on my 3 year old DD chest then 20 mins later 2 dogs came running up way in front of their owner , they started barking aggressively at DD she backed off and they then proceeded to literally chase her in circles round a rubbish bin until I grabbed her off the ground , first owner didn't even look to notice , second owner did look mortified and profusely apologised , none of the dogs were particularly big or scary looking but to a 3 year old they would seem pretty huge.

Difference is that your dog can kill/maim a child and a child cannot. You would also be criminally liable if they did.

If you are sympathising with the dog and its owner over the OPs children here, you are probably one of the lazy owners who hasn't bothered to train their dog to come when called.

I've seen it so many times, a half hearted call to the dog when it's getting in the middle of a picnic or licking a kids face. Then the owner walks on hoping the dog will follow. Basically they are embarrassed that their dogs are untrained and behaving badly. If anyone says something like come and get your dog, they get all defensive. (Like blaming the children)

And to all the fur baby parents saying I've never experienced unwanted attention from a dog, take a small child to a park and give them a snack, then you'll see what we're talking about.

A park is a very different proposition to a meadow.

Mine is very definitely on lead around parks and play areas. Harmless buffoon but typically enthusiastic spaniel who wants everyone to love him as much as he loves people and clearly that's not right.

I do let him off lead in the park near us at 6am. I say "park", it's a couple of acres with wood at one end and play equipment the other. Plenty of space for a game of fetch in the early morning away from the play stuff.

If I was the dog owner in OPs situation I'd have been mortified and apologised profusely whilst getting dog away as fast as possible.

@hellrabbitishere just in case you're referring to my comment, when I say about having a blanket on the beach which a dog comes and tramples all over we do not have food, just me and my daughter playing with the sand. Great that you've never had a problem with them, doesn't mean no one else has. I'm sorry but I just don't want an unknown dog coming over to me and my daughter, how do we know it's okay?! Even if it is friendly, I don't want it all over us (without any food to tempt it ...) 🐶

These dog threads are boring now. I used to laugh at the frenzy people would whip themselves into because a dog looked at them or their kids funny. It was quite entertaining but it’s froth by numbers now. Same responses from the same posters.

this absolutely does my head in. Some dog owners have no idea of the effect of a jumpy dog that has no boundaries on young children. It’s bonkers and so entitled

@Libertaire I'm sorry but it's not the same, especially when it comes to toddlers. When a massive dog comes running up to my toddler (who likes dogs but is too young to know they COULD hurt her) my toddler is more at risk than the dog. She can't run as fast so she is no danger to the dog and to be specific about my daughter she is good with dogs and asks to stroke them and is used to my mum's dogs but a dog could cause so much more harm to a young child than to your dog. Yes maybe older children need to learn to be gentle ect but still.

Dog owner of 2 x big crossbreeds. Both ridiculously soft and friendly. Both trusted by us 99%, because there is always 1% of us that knows they are still animals at the end of the day.

Always kept on the lead even though recall is excellent. Kept on leads when friends / children come round. Kept in separate rooms during play dates with our children etc.

What is equally important is to ensure that children are told to NEVER approach a dog without asking it’s owner.

One of my eldest sons friends (11!) despite being told so many times, climbed on my eldest dogs back a few weeks ago. Nothing happened…the dog just laid down and rolled over wagging his tail, but this was completely unacceptable in my eyes. Had a word with his mum, she said “no harm done!” Ffs. It’s not the point!

Responsibility and respect is always needed on all sides.

Sadly my DD still likes the bloody things, my open and unabashed hatred of them notwithstanding, but knows by now not to approach them and to stand still with her arms down if (well when) they approach her uninvited

wow, well done trying actively to give your daughter a fear of dogs she will have to live with forever due to your odd obsessive complex (err rabbit corpses??). The arms down thing is so weird. If she likes them why can’t she pet them if they’re friendly and the owners are ok with it? How bizarre to force her to keep her arms down. @OnceMoreWithoutFeeling

We actually have the opposite problem 🙈 I can't tell you how many parents have let their very young children (under 3) approach us from behind, a few times to the point the child had grabbed my dogs back leg or tail. The parents have been 20ft plus away. Sometimes my dog will be on the lead when this happens, sometimes off, but I really can't understand what goes through the parents minds. Luckily my dog adores young children, so on each occasion when she has heard them/felt them grab her, she's turned around and licked them rather than growling, but she happens to be nervous of children aged 8ish-early teens and would be more likely to bark if they did it.

People in general just need to respect others, keep your dogs away from strangers, keep your kids (or your own dog) away from strange dogs, unless mutually agreed to let them say hello.