To ask dog owners to be extra vigilant around younger children?

[ponderingthisthing]

At the weekend, we were out in the meadows and having our family photos taken by a professional photographer.

A dog came near us and started jumping on the DC, who are 2 and 4. DH tried to fend it off until the owner came and dragged the dog away with some difficulty. By this time both children were extremely scared and upset and were screaming and crying. The owner may have muttered a quiet "sorry" before leaving quickly. No genuine apology or word to check if DC were OK, even though they were obviously extremely disturbed at that point with tears flooding down their faces. She just didn't seem to care.

For us though, it really put a damper on things and unsurprisingly the photography session did not go well. Both children felt unsafe following this (there were other dogs around, many not on lead) and clung to us.

It's not the first time that it's happened, DD was already afraid of dogs due to similar episodes in the past. We try to reassure her that dogs don't normally harm people and that she should just behave normally around them, but I wonder if we should also think more now about safety. Just yesterday, I came across a photo on social media of a little girl who was mauled in the face by a dog. Of course no physical harm came of this episode involving DC, thank goodness, and the dog was probably just over excited. However, the incident is making me feel somewhat uneasy about taking DC to places where dogs can run free.

AIBU to ask that dog owners be extra vigilant with small children around? And obviously, if the dogs are likely to jump up at people, to keep them on lead around small children in public places?

@Sunflowergirl1 many of these happen in the home and too many have dogs without understanding body language of dog etc or trained badly
Any dog has a potential to bite though as they are animals when all said and done but i will allow mine off in certain places as confident as i can be as he has good recall , only approaches when called etc and its at places where dogs are allowed and expected to be off lead
Of course some do happen randomly but also i have kids try and hit my dog before so some people also need to control their children

It’s just one of those things with a dog of that size, a bit like when you’ve got multiple little dogs and the risk is tripping over them!

He was a Great Dane/Dalmatian cross with a very slinky walk where he wiggled his arse a bit so he sort of turned round and slinked his arse right in the child’s stomach and he went down hard. The best bit was when said dog literally raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘first it bothers me, now it cries???’

your pooch sounds great - we have a husky near me who rocks a pair of sunglasses quite often!

But unfortunatley it's not that simple, for example we have to walk through a park to get to my eldest school, that park allows dogs off leads which is fine - if they can be recalled and controlled. The problem is when owners do not have much control over their dogs and are calling and calling but their dog is miles ahead and bounding straight into a very small toddler. I don't think its unreasonable to say that if your dog is not well trained then it should not be off the lead, if it is well trained then you are not one the owners people are talking about here.

Couldn't agree more.
Given the choice, 9 times out of 10 I'd pick a dog over a human, particularly someone else's screeching, irritating kid. We were at the nearby ford/river at the weekend paddling and picnicking with other locals and there were a few loose dogs playing in the water while passing by on their walks. Not one was annoying to anybody, didn't get in the way, go near anyones kids or picnics. Can't say as much for some of the kids down there though 🥴.
The OP is absolutely right in that they shouldn't be jumped on by a dog. No question about it. I've had dogs my entire life and can count on one hand the amount of times I've been jumped on while out walking or horse riding, and I see a lot of dogs. I must be lucky!

Your child will grow up terrified of dogs and you.

It is very damaging for a child to witness their parent perpetrating acts of violence. How will they know that it won't be them next time?

You really need to get help.

It is not fair to expect dogs to never be allowed off lead to run about. Running is what dogs do. People can’t be expected to keep their dogs on a lead when they’ve never shown any form of aggression or sign of behaving badly.

There are probably a lot more dogs that need this space to run about in than there are families who want to use it for a photo shoot.

I will be very happy to control my dogs around your children, OP. All I politely ask in return is that you control your children around my dogs.

It works both ways, a fact which too many parents appear not to understand.

YANBU at all OP. I have young children and an over excitable over friendly dog, and that's why my dog isn't allowed off the lead in public. Too many people just let their dogs do whatever they want. I saw a dog merrily pottering about (and weeing everywhere) inside the cordoned off cricket green in the middle of our local rec this morning, with the owner just sitting and watching.

Equally, I think there are people with young children who let them do whatever they want too - can't count how many have been allowed to approach my dog without asking - although my dog is extremely friendly, as mentioned he's very excitable and jumpy and can easily knock small children over and enthusiastically lick them all over their faces / leap about to try and get them to play which can be intimidating. We have very specific methods and he needs a firm hand - when he gets that, he's totally responsive and lovely, but is completely thrown and forgets his good behaviour altogether if I don't engage him before young kids approach!

It’s horrendous, and a regular issue for us. I have four DC aged 7 - 1 and while none of them started off nervous of dogs, they are all frightened of dogs now. Countless times, dozens and dozens and dozens, have dogs bounded owner to them, sometimes very large dogs too (although practically all dogs are large to a toddler). At least twice my third DC was knocked over by an enthusiastic dog. We’ve had dogs run over and sniff/lick/drool on/steal our picnic food, we’ve had one come over and pee all over our picnic blanket, coats, my husbands phone and book. My husband was bitten/nipped by a dog when waving it away from our eldest (didn’t break the skin but made him jump!). It’s bad enough the dog poo everywhere and that my neighbours dog barks continually, but those things don’t bother me like the frightening experiences my children have had because of horrible selfish irresponsible dog owners. So many times they’ve not been able to enjoy themselves as they are on edge due to dogs bounding around. I think the problem is there are just so many dogs in Britain now. I wish they’d introduce a tax. In my experience the dog owners who are a problem fall into two categories - unpleasant people who couldn’t give a stuff about others, and besotted ‘fur baby’ owners who genuinely think anyone would be delighted to come into contact with their beloved canines. I don’t know what the answer is but it’s a shame. National trust properties are our refuge as many of them near us don’t allow dogs but I’ve noticed this is changing nationally I know they are under huge pressure from outraged dog owners to let them in.

There’s a lovely park close to me which has a lake, cafe, play areas, picnic area, BMX track, activity trail and several large, well maintained grass areas which are either dog free or dogs on leads only.

There is also a fully fenced area where dogs are allowed to run off lead. The amount of people who set up picnics or ball games for their children in the dog space is ridiculous. They then proceed to shriek loudly every time a dog goes near them.

I spotted someone setting up in the dog space at the weekend and mentioned in a perfectly polite way she may want to go elsewhere because of the dogs. She called me an interfering bitch and she could picnic where the fuck she liked. I really hope a very large dog pissed on her sausage rolls.

The thing is, people are getting sick of it. I’ve taken to aggressively protecting our space in these situations and proactively shouting, aiming a (fake) kick a the dog, waving my arms etc. Usually deters them. Owners can see them approaching us a
mile off and they look the other way, even though the kids are visibly scared. But start shouting and making like your going to kick the dog away and they then start scurrying over suddenly. Most of them then grab the dog and rush off without a word looking scandalised/horrified/mortified. Some can get a bit abusive but nothing too bad so far. I never would have behaved like that years ago, would’ve been shocked at the thought, but I’ve found it’s the only way. Lady on the beach nearly started crying when I chased her dog with a spade but the thing had just bounded straight at my 2 year old for the third time. Not the dogs fault, silly old bag of an owner. Hopefully she’ll think
again next time. My husband took his flip flop off and chased a lab recently after redirecting it twice already in a good natured way, from our picnic. Owner called (bleated inadequately) a couple of times but as soon as the flip flop came off then they suddenly got a bit more pro active.

@SamphirethePogoingStickerist

Yep! Much as some people need to be more aware of their dog, body language etc we, as a society, seem to have forgotten how to live alongside pets.

I don't have any pets. Therefore I and my kids should have no need to "live alongside" them. If people with dogs would keep said fucking dogs away from us.

YANBU

I like dogs but I’m getting so sick of dog owners. In the last few years I’ve suddenly had so many dogs jumping on me and my son, eating food from the pram (including my baby’s hands) and things dragged out of the pram. The number of times owners have laughed or said “well he needs to get used to them at some point .” Does he??

Let me just re-write that for you

Children near dogs are just a big no no. Their owners who let them run loose need castrating then the kids should be dealt with.

Any child that harasses my dog will just be kicked away as hard as possible. Simple as.

HTH

I control my child and do NOT let him wander over to people who don’t like children. So please keep your dog away from me in case my child doesn’t like dogs (he does but it’s not the point - I know plenty of people
who don’t but aren’t allowed to say that).

Any dog that harasses my child will just be kicked away as hard as possible.

Can I do the same to any child that harasses, hurts or scares my dog?

@nalabae

People don’t “let” their dogs jump on you the dog does this because they don’t understand people may be scared.

But the owner does understand that (or they bloody well should!). If the dog is under control it won't jump. If it isn't under control it shouldn't be off lead. It really is astonishingly simple. Never see why to dog lovers seem to think it's complicated.

Ours are on the lead not because they would hurt someone (they would roll over for a belly scratch given half a chance) but because I don't trust other people with them! This thread of people chasing dogs with spades, kicks flip flops when the dog hasn't even threatened to attack disgust me.

I think people should teach their kids not to be scared of dogs and certain breeds should be banned to ease parents fears.

Should a dog who needs exercise sometimes miles a day be restricted to a lead in an open woodland so a scared toddler can run free I would say no.

Take the toddler to area that is dog free and leave the areas that are dog friendly to kids who aren't scared. Our DS would have played with the biggest dog on the planet yes sometimes he got knocked over (no more than he tripped himself) the poor dog would go check he was okay and then they were friends again.

@Grumpybutfunny just because a dog hasn’t threatened to attack does not mean its not a problem. I don’t want dogs urinating on my blanket, bounding up to my children who are just about nose level with it, licking our food. You may find this acceptable, I do not.

YANBU ... To be honest I'm starting to really dislike dogs and wouldn't mind if I didn't come across one again, but of course that's impossible 🙄 my mum has two and they're her babies and we live in an area where sooo many people have dogs. I hate when we are on the beach (with my 2yo) and a dog comes bouncing over all over our blanket and the owner doesn't give a 💩. Might get a "sorry" like you said but I don't say "oh that's okay" anymore as I'm really fed up of it. Not everyone wants a dog pouncing up to them, especially with their muddy paws and especially with young children! I totally agree with you and sorry that it ruined your photo shoot ☹️. A couple of months ago I was walking from the park with my daughter and was going to be meeting a friend at a café and a dog ran over to us and jumped up at me leaving my jeans all muddy 🙄 again barely an apology from the owner. 😠

its good to see all the nut jobs are out in force on this thread anyway , i find myself pondering the fact that i live in a large open plan city with tons of green spaces and parks , the city is abundent with dogs and they are seen being walked everywhere on redways , in the small towns and villages on outskirts of the city , and in all the parks as well , somehow despite all this i managed to get raise my daugher through toddler hood and the younger years to now and to this day shes never been jumped on , slathered on , had food snatched from her pram by these maraunding off lead dogs , how weird that , and as for the picnic mumsnet lot , do people really sit in a public park on grass with food all spread out for flies and wasps to land on and everybody and his brother walking past or around i didnt know , and as for the beach does the sand not get in all the food ?

its all very odd to me i must say . and if your going to sit having a picnic in a park or on a beach where its likely dogs may be its really common sense to know that dogs are attracted to food , even on a leash one can still pull its owner over to the site you are eating

Thos doesnt give the dog owner to let his dog jump all over the ops children though does it? What ridiculous reasoning

and i also wonder how many of these posters who are moaning about how terrified their kids are of dogs dislike dogs themselves and dont want them anywhere near them and then that transfers to their kids

i love dogs although i dont own one and from a young age as in only a toddler my daughter has seen me ask to stroke dogs , fuss them and shes wanted to do so herself . my love of animals has rubbed off on her and she knows me well enough to know if a large muddy spaniel came running up to me in a park and proceded to slather all over me id be giving it a good old fuss and babbling away with the owner .

unlike i suspect most of the posters on here who would be madly flapping at it ,shooing it away and then complaining their kids are terrified of dogs 🙄

There is nothing worse than people who can't control their dogs and dogs that jump all over you. It's not the dog, it's the lazy owners. I'd be fuming.