To ask dog owners to be extra vigilant around younger children?

[ponderingthisthing]

At the weekend, we were out in the meadows and having our family photos taken by a professional photographer.

A dog came near us and started jumping on the DC, who are 2 and 4. DH tried to fend it off until the owner came and dragged the dog away with some difficulty. By this time both children were extremely scared and upset and were screaming and crying. The owner may have muttered a quiet "sorry" before leaving quickly. No genuine apology or word to check if DC were OK, even though they were obviously extremely disturbed at that point with tears flooding down their faces. She just didn't seem to care.

For us though, it really put a damper on things and unsurprisingly the photography session did not go well. Both children felt unsafe following this (there were other dogs around, many not on lead) and clung to us.

It's not the first time that it's happened, DD was already afraid of dogs due to similar episodes in the past. We try to reassure her that dogs don't normally harm people and that she should just behave normally around them, but I wonder if we should also think more now about safety. Just yesterday, I came across a photo on social media of a little girl who was mauled in the face by a dog. Of course no physical harm came of this episode involving DC, thank goodness, and the dog was probably just over excited. However, the incident is making me feel somewhat uneasy about taking DC to places where dogs can run free.

AIBU to ask that dog owners be extra vigilant with small children around? And obviously, if the dogs are likely to jump up at people, to keep them on lead around small children in public places?

No wonder so many kids suffer with anxiety and general mental health issues when their parents teach them to be terrified of everything

Agreed! Some shocking posts here of parents actively trying to give their kids a problem.

Another day another dog thread.

You purposefully went to an area where dogs will be off their leads then don’t like it when dogs are off their leads.

i agree dogs jumping up kids can be quite scary for them and in an ideal world dogs wouldn’t jump up anyone unless invited but they do because that’s what they do when excited and kids are exciting to dogs. It’s a fact that dogs are part of life in our society. It is part of our society and culture to let them off leads in fields and parks where we are permitted to. Not everyone likes it but not everyone likes everything, I hate bikes and would happily ban cyclists but I can’t because I understand it’s just part of our culture and cyclists are permitted to cycle where the law allows it.

Rather than keeping your children away from dogs you’d be better to find a friend or relative with a dog who is used to small children and let them be slowly introduced so that your kids can get used to them, because dogs aren’t going anywhere and being scared of them is detrimental.

I agree with those who have pointed out that respect is necessary on both sides.

DC should be taught to respect a dog's boundaries without encouraging them to fear dogs.

Equally, dogs should be taught not to jump up. And dogs who have not yet learnt not to jump up - or who prove themselves incapable of learning the lesson, for whatever reason, should never be off the lead in public.

The problem is that many parents don't parent properly and many dog owners do not train their dogs properly.

I like dogs and have owned labs in the past - but ours was trained not to jump and in the 'unpredictable' phase was kept on the lead.

Now, if any dog jumps up at me then I will raise my knee sharply and push it away, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to make it absolutely bloody plain that I don't like it and I'm not accepting this kind of 'friendliness'. Any owner who allows their dog to jump up at people is a shit dog owner and should be deeply ashamed of themselves.

I dont think there should be a blanket ban on dogs off leads. If I was walking my small dog who called be easily recalled (the first was a jack russel and second a fox terrier) at 7am before work or at 7pm at night on a fairly deserted beach (aside from the only other dog walkers) I would let my dog off the lead, and the odd time if there was a kid I would call it back.

On a Saturday on a sunny day with lots of young families? No way. Even though neither were jumpers, and only like a sniff I understand that some kids are scared / dislike dogs. Its called being considerate, but I think dog owners are entilted to let their dogs off leads if they are out at less busy times on public places.

@lovesT

sure but if your toddler goes over to a dog it doesn’t know, even on a lead, and pets it without asking, she is also at risk and it’s your fault.

We have a large, boisterous, super friendly lab cross pup. However he is loopy meeting people and all his training goes out of the window . When we are out he is on a lead unless I know there is no-one about contained area, or we are at the dog park.
He wouldn't be aggressive but I have great concerns he'd knock over a child /elderly person causing serious damage or creating fear.

Since we got him we've had a few kids stroking him but they have ALWAYS asked first, allowing me to control the situation.

Btw I love him to bits, wouldn't be without him, he is part of our family but he is most certainly NOT our 'fur baby'!
Hate that term

You think it's bizzare to keep her arms down when near a dog? Then you shouldn't own one. You clearly know nothing about dog behaviour and safety around them.

@Imaginary I have a dog years and am yet to see children freeze with their arms down when they see a dog. I’d be worried something is wrong with the child tbh.

I was bitten by a dog on a lead last year. The bloody thing attacked me from behind for no reason at all. The owner just said "sorry" and quickly went away.

Keep your filthy animals away from me and my children.

THere's nothing wrong with the child.

It's not fear (as in an irrational fear) - it's quite rational disgust. I tell her to stand still and keep her arms down if a strange dog approaches her uninvited because by definition if it is approaching her it is either not under control or owned by an idiot and therefore likely badly trained, and therefore may be dangerous. I'd rather let their owner catch up to them/recall them before she engages with them so I can assess how likely it is to be well behaved based on how the owner behaves.

However I'd really prefer her not to pet strange dogs in any case because they're filthy dirty creatures that sniff each others arses, that do stick their faces into all sorts of disgusting things, and dribble. My MIL's dog's specialty is finding dead rabbits in the ditches of country lanes (she lives rurally) and carrying them around, it's fucking repulsive. But all dogs are dirty. I've seen them eat their own and other dog's shit. Bizarrely I don't want my daughter being licked by a dog, same as I won't want her being licked by a human only x 1000000.

No child should be approaching my on lead dogs and touching it without my consent either ...happens way too much

OP I agree with you , too many idiots have out of control dogs

Dogs are excellent judges of character 😀

For me the issues with this approach are twofold:

1. I am not scared of dogs, but I am allergic and the fact I don't want them jumping on me is unrelated to their friendliness or otherwise.
2. My son is scared of dogs because of numerous encounters with out-of-control pets and I have to deal with the consequences of that. As such, all I really want from anyone that contributes to my itchy hands and laboured breathing and his ongoing nervousness around dogs is to get their dog away from us and apologise for allowing it to approach us. I honestly assume that nobody would be so stupid as to yell 'Careful - he'll probably bite you' so after a few dozen such encounters, it does sound a lot like an excuse, although I do appreciate your intentions.

I do sometimes feel bad, because every dog owner that we encounter gets a little bit of the ire that has been built up slowly over hundreds of similar encounters. Individually, they may feel that I/we have over-reacted, but if they knew how often we are accosted by poorly trained dogs (usually in places where dogs are explicitly not supposed to be or areas that are specifically shared use) they might understand why I am less inclined to be accommodating and tend more towards 'Please just get your dog away from us' these days.

I'm starting to think we should start calling 999 every time. It is illegal to have an out of control dog, one of the writers is 'makes someone worried that it might injure them'. An untrained dog running up to you, not leaving you alone, not following commands like 'sit' qualifies.

I used to think it was against the law to have a dog off the lead in public unless land owners permission. It wouldn't be a bad idea really....

Or a handful of woods available where dogs are allowed... so actual children can enjoy spending that time in nature in safety.

It might be worth starting a petition. Realistically more people are fed up with wild dog 'pets' racing around the woods than arrogant owners who think their dog is just so friendly....

Good luck with that. Having tried to call the police for a number of actual crimes recently, I can rest assured they will do exactly nothing.

I am in complete agreement with this statement! Off-lead dogs should not be permitted in public places, such as parks, or in private places to which the public has legal access, such as common land, National Trust land and on public footpaths and bridleways.

There is a growing trend towards dog-fields nowadays - designated, safely fenced, large areas where dogs can be free to run around off the lead. I think that such places should be encouraged, maybe even subsidised, to help deter people from taking dogs to nature reserves, commons, parks and the like and letting them roam free off the lead.

Apologies for using a confusing style of writing - it was meant for dog owners in general.

I used to have for several years a large white German Shepard, very protective of me, thus I took interest in checking the law for myself after hearing a lot of contradicting opinions.

I always kept my dog under strict control, but other people didn't even try to control their kids, and I was finally forced to drive miles away to find quiet spots.

jesus christ on a jumped up chariot , i do feel so sorry for your kid

I'm a dog owner. I haven't experienced any problems with out of control dangerous, or aggressive children. I've experienced lots of irresponsible dog owners of the "my dog is friendly" brigade.

My dog has recall. He has been trained to ignore other dogs and people when on and off lead. So many times we have been bounded at by off lead dogs, owner out of sight, or earshot. When owner appears its always the same "he's just being friendly"
No he's not he's being a nuisance.

My dog is reactive to dogs who have no manners, do not greet properly, jump up at him, or yap. I know this, so I take precautions, lead back on and walk away. Moron owners see you putting your dog on the lead and yet still allow their offlead dog to bound over. These idiots should be banned from having dogs. And it's these idiots who are allowing their "friendly" dogs to jump at people and other dogs.

My dog waits for me to say it's OK to say hello to people, or to approach other dogs. And he loves children, but always he waits for me to say if it's OK.

Children and dogs separately and together need supervision, in all public places. But not once have I had any issues with "out of control" kids.

My dog has fabulous recall. Turns on a proverbial sixpence. It was hard work to train him to do that. I think a lot of owners aren't prepared to do that. And until they do they shouldn't be letting their dogs roam free in parks and public spaces. That said if a park was super busy I would have him on a lead because there are a tremendous amount of nervous parents and children around. I see them cowering and exuding uncomfortable body language. I do not think all of these families have had horrendous experiences though. I think they are generally nervous people. Which is a shame for the children.
So to account for those people I lead up my fluffy Golden Retriever.
But I also spot children who are desperate to interact with him - see them all the time - children who whisper to mum 'can i stroke the dog?'. And that's lovely because I take dog over, make him sit, and the child strokes him while he gives them his paw. It's lovely!
We all need to share our spaces sensibly. Obviously

@Giraffesandbottoms I said she's very good and doesn't do that 🙄 only speaking for my own toddler here. She is used to dogs as my mum has 2 and we see them a lot but she wouldn't run up to any dog whilst we are out. Just yesterday one walked past us in the high street and she said "stroke him?' she didn't run up to it and it's not something she has done. We have however had multiple dogs run up to us which I hate.

@hellrabbitishere

So just to be clear, you'd be happy for someone who'd just got finished rimming a dog to kiss your toddler? I wouldn't. And that's what dogs do.

And please don't pity my Dad's - as I say their loving granny has 2, her 3 aunts all have at least one, she gets her share of doggy time. And I put up with that because she does like them and I know their owners and trust them to be alert to any danger, and I can take her indoors/to another room if I am not happy with how things are going. What I'm not happy with are strange dogs off leads approaching her uninvited, often at speed. A because they're gross, B because they are definitely uncontrolled and possibly dangerous. In what way is that unreasonable?

PS - all the family dogs are walked on the lead or on the owners' land. For the safety and comfort of others. Because their owners are not dicks.