Wedding drama

[Hiimblahblah]

Myself and my DP are getting married aboard just after summer. My family have known we were planning a destination wedding for around a year now, and I had given them a heads up that they would need to start saving from when we first announced it. Several of them still have not booked flights, accommodation, or got their passports, which is upsetting as I know they've spent money on other expensive things in the meantime.

Our official marriage will take place in England, then we are flying out the next day for the abroad wedding. The only 2 people attending the English ceremony is my DPs DGF and DD as witnesses. The reason we're only having these 2 people is because my DPs DGF is paying for that part of the wedding, and we need 2 witnesses.

My DSis has asked if it would be possible to attend the ceremony in England due to her financial situation and the fact that she has her own wedding to pay for next year, but we really don't want our wedding to be the English one. We're not really treating it as anything special, we're just going out for a meal after and then going home to pack up.

AIBU to tell people they can't attend the wedding in England?

Note from MNHQ - please read OP's second post before responding.

There’s a similar one on another reverse today. I don’t know what’s happening.

The one in the OP @Westpoint? It’s not possible to edit so how else would it have got there?

A new mod who got messages reporting the threads as reverses, and thought this was the way to deal with them? It is odd, indeed.

Don’t you get an edit button as part of MN Premium? Although I think the new mod theory is more likely.

💯this. Imagine being annoyed at people spending their own money on themselves when you want them to save it for a hideously expensive foreign wedding YOU want.

I wondered if the other reverse is about this OP's own wedding! I've flagged to ask if the MNHQ memos are real.

So if you pay, you get to control the narrative?

l thought Weddings have to be public to make sure that there are no forced marriages. So you can't stop your sister from coming to the first wedding.

It really is.

If my sibling decided on a destination wedding, it would be in the knowledge that some wouldn't be able to go - me included.

Do you realise that there has been a global pandemic? It’s not easy to ‘start saving’ for an unnecessary abroad wedding you know!

Doesn't matter to me if this is a reverse, the B&G are wildly overestimating other people's fascination and prioritisation of their wedding. The MARRIAGE is what's important

I really really don't understand why you posted this as a reverse if I'm honest. You probably lost quite a lot of the sympathy you might have otherwise garnered and made it incredibly difficult for anyone to actually have a clue what is happening.

Your sister doesn't want you to go to the legal ceremony in England because that is not her actual wedding. It's just signing some legal documentation. Her actual wedding is abroad.

She obviously does not want a fuss making over signing paperwork and would probably have done that abroad if she could, but due to the law you are forced to do that in a certain way/ location.

I can understand because we had the same with our wedding, although it wasn't abroad we had a blessing/ humanist wedding which was much more aligned with what we wanted, and that was the one our family and friends came to.

We would have really hated people insisting on coming to the legal bit because the main wedding wasn't convenient for them, and we did say no to a few people who asked. To us, the legal ceremony was nothing but paperwork and we didn't want a fuss about it or people attending because we didn't want two weddings.

So, if you can afford to go abroad then I think you should make an effort. If you can't afford to go then apologise, but don't insist on coming to the legal bit or feel put out that she said no. It's just paperwork to her and not her wedding.

Note from MNHQ - please read OP's second post before responding.

@MNHQ Why are you still helping people to break your own talk guidelines?

This is no the first time I've seen MNHQ doing this. Just a reminder of the talk guidelines...

"No trolling, misleading or deliberately inflammatory behaviour"

Surely if someone ignores that and misleads everyone anyway with a stupid reverse, you should be giving them a warning - not help?

Note from MNHQ - please read OP's second post before responding
If reverses are against Talk Guidelines, why are @mnhq Letting this one stand, and also helping the op out by adding a comment into the op to read further before commenting????

Good point. I'd like to hear their response to this. Reverses are so annoying.

Exactly!!

@GeorgesMarvelousCalpol I've seen the add it to a thread title in the past, because the 'poor' OP wasn't getting the correct responses, due to people not realising it was a reverse 🙄

*I've seen MNHQ add it to the thread title

Thank you, You were typing whilst I was raging @worraliberty and put it much more clearly than I could 😄

I thought that they used to delete reverses, but it seems not.

It’s an invite not a summons….. you don’t have to go. Just a thought.

I think it’s totally unreasonable to expect family and friends to fork out for accommodation and air fares for a “destination” wedding and then be offended if they decline the invitation. It’s expensive enough to attend a wedding in the UK if you have to pay for travel, overnight accommodation, gift and maybe new clothes.

reverse reverse for new thread readers!

Am awaiting a thread that states 'aibu to expect my dw to work 8-6, drop the kids at wrap round care, and do all housework, while l live my DREAM of being a tik tok star, I mean it's my DREAM!' and then after all the hoo-ha, the oh it's a reverse, but hey its all good!