Seriously Regret name change

[Nostrings457]

When I married I took H’s surname and our children then had that name. After 10 years our marriage has ended. He has behaved appallingly and not made anywhere near enough effort with the DC. I am filing for divorce. I don’t want to keep his name - but for professional reasons don’t really want to change but also want to have the same name as DC.

I feel so bitter and annoyed at myself for taking his name (but At the time wouldn’t have had it any other way).

I’m in the depths of heartbreak at the moment but this is really getting to me. Does anyone have any advice or experience?

@FogLight its not that ‘professional reasons’ would cause a problem. It’s because I am a private person and I don’t want the hundreds of people I am known to at work to be aware that I am divorced. It’s none of their business. Lesson learnt and I will ensure my DDs know the potential consequences of name change. Hopefully these ridiculous traditions will be outdated by then

Honestly OP, I would change it back, if you loved your maiden name.

Nobody at work will care that you are getting divorced.

My advice would be to wait a bit, say six months, and see how you feel about it then.

FWIW, I did not take my husband's name, but a lot of the time I use it socially anyway. So you may be able to keep it in some contexts but not others.

I was Mrs A when I got married (pre PhD). I am now Dr A B on my passport, I use Dr B when it suits me (most of the time) and Mrs A when is suits me (mostly when dealing with the kids whose surname is A... very, very occasionally Dr A if it will be advantageous i.e. applying for EHCPs or any other arena where people are more likely to take you seriously if they believe you to be educated) and Dr A B when strictly necessary (travel, legal documents etc). I do this seamlessly and never caused me any issues so far.