"Would you mind stopping that now, please" Was I rude?

[dizzydizzydizzy]

Lying down with eyes shut on gigantic upcycled bench made of pallets and astroturf.

2 kids ages about 8 jumping off backrest of bench onto seat about 20-30cm from my feet. Their mother was sitting in the bench about another metre from that (the bench is 5m long). They did it about 10 times each and each time they landed by my feet they made the bench vibrate. I then asked them if they could possibly stop doing it.

Their mother told me I was very rude and said I should move to an empty deckchair.
I told her I needed to lie down. She then told her kids to keep jumping.

Was I being rude? Or was she?

I agree. People with long term health conditions deal with enough shit without being judged for trying their best to get through a day

It all depends on the tone you used when you said it. If it was a genuine request in a nice tone of voice, the mum should have responded in kind and asked the kids to move away from you. If you snapped and started ordering other people's kids around in an irritable tone, I'd have thought it was rude. Sounds like you were in somewhere like Granary Sq in Kings Cross or outside the NT in the south bank? If so these are two of the relatively few places that little kids can go in the city to blow off steam, and they're deliberately designed for people of all ages (including children) to convert to as many uses as possible, because so many people around there live in flats with no gardens. You can lie down if you like but you don't get to demand other people adapt their otherwise reasonable behaviour to suit your needs. You do get to ask nicely if they would, though.

TBH I think you were in the wrong for expecting to lie on a bench and close your eyes in a public place while everyone else made allowances, and they were unreasonable for encouraging the kids to continue on purpose.

However, I would say that you should have used a deck chair to recline in as they are for individual use and therefore you are in sole charge of what you do in it.

Using a portion of a bench you have to work with the others also using it. If you don’t want to do that then you need to move. See also people complaining that someone has a cigarette on a bench next to them or similar. Shared space = shared use

YWBU potentially to lie on a bench and take up more space than you needed and potentially deny someone else a space to sit down who may also have needed it.

tl/dr you were both unreasonable and don’t come out of it that we’ll

The fatigue from long covid is really awful. It is difficult to have energy to walk or do anything. I hope you feel better soon op.

Is this the same as "boys will be boys?'
The parent and kids were being rude and entitled. Op has said she was unwell and it wasn't a play area.

Do you know she could lie on the grass or are you just assuming she could get down there and then back up again?

Do you know she has a car? Maybe she works in a shop?

She’s teaching her kids to have no consideration for anyone else.
Irrelevant of deckchairs, who was there first, etc etc.

Not the kids fault but poor you.

@AllThingsServeTheBeam yeah I'm sure there's absolutely no alternative...

She said she had long covid, not that she's got back problems

Indeed.

Reminds me of going with friends to one of these 'interactive' exhibition type places pre Covid. Lots of excited kids (and adults!) 'interacting' with the exhibits in a proper way, but 2 or 3 (aged between maybe 6-10) literally climbing all over everything and blatantly ignoring notices saying 'do not climb/ stand on this item' etc.

My friend said to the parents - excuse me it says NO CLIMBING please tell your children to stop, they may hurt themselves. Parents pretended not to understand her and carried on chatting to each other and the grandparents and taking pictures of their feral offspring jumping/ climbing on and swinging from things.

Some people are just arseholes.

I wouldn't let my DS bother people or behave like that, but I probably would have been pretty perplexed by someone lying down on a public bench and dictating to others how they can behave when they weren't doing anything illegal or especially unpleasant.

This.
I can't really picture what it was you were lying on, but, tbf, it is pretty entitled to be taking up enough space on a bench to be lying and preventing other people using it, so I think YWBU to then try and dictate how other people use that space.
I guess it depends on the place - how many other benches there were or other places to play or flat space you could have brought your own picnic rug to lie on etc. but I do think it quite rude to dictate how little ones play when you are being pretty unreasonable yourself about sharing space, yes.

I have long covid but I also have RA and don't drive. So yeah. Stop your abelist assuming.

Op was there first making legitimate use of facilities. Along comes Mrs Feral and her feral dc to make inappropriate use of the bench and piss off someone already there.

There is nothing wrong lying down on a park bench. I enjoy lying looking at the sky in the fresh air listening to the sounds personally.

OP was there first. I actually think the children jumping on the bench were probably damaging the bench and also being incredibly rude invading the OP’s space and totally out of order not stopping when an adult asked them to. Dreadful children and mother.

My pet hate. A monosyllabic op. It always feels like pulling teeth.

She was rude. People are so precious about their kids being told to not behave inappropriately. If they don’t like it, they should control them. Teach them right from wrong.

when did we get to a point where kids can do what they like, sod everyone else. So many kids have no respect for their teachers, and this is why!!!

YANBU

I understand the need to rest, but to lie down in a public place?

OP needed a lie down for their long covid. Who are we to judge whether or not that was what they needed.

No they didn’t.

Most of us have long covid and I’ve never come across anyone who needs to lie down.

If they do they can do it somewhere else and not take up half the space when there are plenty of people who may want to sit down.

Why did they not go and lie on the seats in the staff room if they were so tired?

Maybe ask the parent first next time. I wouldn't take kindly to a stranger telling my child what to do, especially when I'm right there and they aren't particularly doing anything wrong.

I’d have asked DC to stop but tbf I would also wonder why you were laying down in a very public place which is presumably designed for children to play.
id also wonder why you didn’t move to an available deck chair given where you were lying sounds like more of a ‘fun’ place with the Astro turf etc.

Have you any idea how fucking ridiculous you sound? How about get yourself a grip?

I don't need a grip, I can function normally without being offended by normal comments. But do suffer on dear, I'm sure you struggle through every day 😂

Do you have any idea how many people are living with a disability? It is not a "woke category".

Who said I was offended? More assumptions. Fuck me. People just can't help themselves

If you were there first they were rude starting jumping

if they’d been playing first you would have been rude though.