"Would you mind stopping that now, please" Was I rude?

[dizzydizzydizzy]

Lying down with eyes shut on gigantic upcycled bench made of pallets and astroturf.

2 kids ages about 8 jumping off backrest of bench onto seat about 20-30cm from my feet. Their mother was sitting in the bench about another metre from that (the bench is 5m long). They did it about 10 times each and each time they landed by my feet they made the bench vibrate. I then asked them if they could possibly stop doing it.

Their mother told me I was very rude and said I should move to an empty deckchair.
I told her I needed to lie down. She then told her kids to keep jumping.

Was I being rude? Or was she?

I probably would have put up and shut up

This attitude is really sad. Also, she didn’t ‘tell them off’, she politely asked them to stop... This thread is really demoralising, reading the attitude towards OP because she had the temerity to gasp lie down on a public bench and politely ask 8 year olds (!), not 4 year olds, to please stop.

*to please stop using the bench as gym equipment

you sound like a you don’t have a fucking clue about long covid.

For which you sound count yourself lucky.

Try developing some empathy and losing some of the ignorance

Who are you to tell me what I know or don't know about long covid?

Fwiw, I work in a big city which was badly affected by covid and I do not see people collapsed on benches at lunchtime unless they are drunk or tripping homeless people.

@DoorWasAJar

”I think people defending this behaviour have brain damage, there’s no other explanation for being so wilfully obtuse and vile. Frontal lobe damage causes antisocial behaviour, there needs to be more awareness of this.”

Your first sentence is saying people have brain damage. You said it, not me.
I work with people who have acquired brain injuries, so I have much empathy for those who do have frontal lobe injuries and thus, have additional needs with impulse control and emotional lability. I do have an understanding of how people function, although I would not say I am an expert, of course, because every person is individual and unique:
That said, I agree there needs to be more awareness and understanding of life with an acquired brain injury and more funding and more support and more services.

Go lay at work
Its not a hotel
Its a deckchair

It wasn't a deckchair

Right ok. So if one day you did see someone lying down would you let your kids go jump around them?

What's odd is your posts. Nothing odd about someone having a fucking lie down on their lunch break.

You obviously have no idea. The fact you say you work and have to cope because your life is busy means that you don't understand because I wouldn't have a fucking choice.

I don't know why people have a problem with OP lying down. It's not like they were lying on the floor in the way or on a peice of play equipment.

We all move through life differently and a lot of people seem to have no compassion.

I know go to any park during the summer and there will be people lying down. We don't all have to be vertical all the time.

I can only imagine the people who think lying down or sleeping in public is the most atrocious social faux pas never venture outside in warm weather. I love a work lunchtime chill in the park for a few minutes, I've been known to fall asleep under a shady tree on a lazy summer weekend, and I very much enjoy lying / sleeping on the beach.

Judging from the number of other people doing it I'm hardly alone. And yet the horror persists from some people on here.

@Onwards22

*Most of us have long covid
*
That's a bizarre statement. I know a lot of people. Two of them have full-on, over ten weeks long Covid. Most people got it and got over it within a month or so. So most people don't have long covid....

And then to go on to be so dismissive of the OPs illness and need to lie down shows that you really don't have much idea about what long Covid is really like

@justfiveminutes

Yes, exactly this.

It makes a huge difference for many people to be able to be outside in the sun to help recovery from covid - other people have commented on it on other threads.

The OP shouldn't have to shut herself away in a broom cupboard with a bed at work for a rest...

Although I agree work should also make reasonable adjustments for her and provide somewhere for her. But equally she's entitled to enjoy the sun on her face and fresh air if she wants to

@dizzydizzydizzy

They were definitely doing it because you were there - probably for the interaction / reaction.

And you were definitely in your rights to ask them to stop it.

It reminds me of a birthday card I once had of three cartoon mice approaching a sleeping cat with a stick and the caption,
"Do it, do it, don't do it!"

I hope your long covid begins to improve soon, it can be really tough

@MissChanandlerBong80

"She says this bench is 5 metres long, so an adult lying down on it must have taken up nearly half of it. To me it’s very odd behaviour to to occupy nearly half of a shared public facility, then to tell someone else to stop using it in one of the manners intended for its use, when there’s available seating nearby where you’re unlikely to be disturbed. "

How many 2.5 metre tall people do you know??!! Even professional basketball players aren't that tall 🤣

But no go ahead - a really good exaggeration always proves your point, look at Amber Heard...

Many insightful points @CorsicaDreaming. Thank you.

Work has provided me a place to lay down, but it's little more than a broom cupboard. but I wanted some sunshine and fresh air. I can only get through a working day if I have several rests.

Good point about the kids might have been deliberately trying to annoy me. I hadn't thought of that.

I was actually taking up much less than half the bench because my head was by one arm rest and my knees were bent and my feet were by my bottom. I was probably using about 1.3 of the 5m.

Thank you to everyone else for your comments too. I have read them all.

Take care @dizzydizzydizzy - I hope things get easier soon 💐

Keeping a journal and noting down the little wins and good times can be helpful sometimes.

Another good point @CorsicaDreaming. Thank you!

@dizzydizzydizzy

The kids were landing about 1m from their mum and 20-30cm from me.

I'm not surprised at that at all. Ok to practically jump on a stranger but they don't dare bother mum.

I'm getting a bit older and have some health issues. I'm just not going to put up with bratty children and their bratty parents anymore. It doesn't seem to matter asking nicely as they are still so offended you said something.
I could act a bit off and let loose a bunch of swear words or shout so loudly to scare them all off. Might make them think twice about thinking they can annoy people with 0 consequences.

@madasawethen . I was sooo tempted to use some choice words but I was wearing my work uniform and didn't want her complaint to me boss about me.

Some posters seem unaware that there are some illnesses where energy can rapidly deplete and resting semi upright or flat can become necessary wherever the person is. I have ME. ME and a main form of long covid share amongst other symptoms the extreme limited energy that gets further depleted quickly. Fatigue is an inadequate description for this feature.

In the earlier years when I could get out a bit, bedridden now, I did on occasion get wiped out enough before managing to get home that sitting up became difficult and would have to rest in some strange places to gather just enough energy to get home.

Sorry to hear that. I have it too but not as severely as you. It sucks, doesn't it. 🙁

I can echo what you say here about needing to rest in strange places when out and about. Most days I run out of energy before I run out of day, which I'm guessing is fairly standard for ME sufferers. Unfortunately. I can absolutely see myself in the OP's situation, and I think the judgement from certain posters on this thread is just appalling.

I don't know why I find this thread so fascinating.

For me the clincher is the mom telling her kids to "keep on jumping". Whatever moral high ground she held before (and she didn't), once she told her kids to keep on annoying the person who asked them to respect her personal space, she lost it. I mean, who does that??

team OP, mom's the villain. (and I am the mom of 2 high-energy kids who have told them many, many times to watch where they're going or doing and told them off for accidentally violating someone's space, while apologizing to the person).

@Mollymoo67, sorry you have ME too and yes it certainly does!