"Would you mind stopping that now, please" Was I rude?

[dizzydizzydizzy]

Lying down with eyes shut on gigantic upcycled bench made of pallets and astroturf.

2 kids ages about 8 jumping off backrest of bench onto seat about 20-30cm from my feet. Their mother was sitting in the bench about another metre from that (the bench is 5m long). They did it about 10 times each and each time they landed by my feet they made the bench vibrate. I then asked them if they could possibly stop doing it.

Their mother told me I was very rude and said I should move to an empty deckchair.
I told her I needed to lie down. She then told her kids to keep jumping.

Was I being rude? Or was she?

She was rude, but you were in a public space (I assume) and using public equipment so I'm not sure why your desire to use it in a specific (and tbh slightly odd) way trumped theirs (assuming there's no massive drip feed) - if there were free deckchairs then it would make sense to use one of them, I would have thought.

I wouldn't let my DS bother people or behave like that, but I probably would have been pretty perplexed by someone lying down on a public bench and dictating to others how they can behave when they weren't doing anything illegal or especially unpleasant.

You can't expect peace and quiet in a public place.

So people with long term health issues should never go out. I have experienced fatigue from illness and it's extremely isolating. Sometimes you just need to leave the house but your fatigue means you might need to sit or lie down at times to facilitate this. She's entitled to use the park as much as anyone and children can play elsewhere. She was there first and the children should have respected that.

@happypineapples

I wouldnt really expect anyone to lie down on a public bench tbh.

From the description it sounded more like play equipment than a bench. But if it was an actual bench the kids shouldn't have been jumping and the op shouldn't have been lying down

You can spot the parents who let their kids run riot while they sit and chat on this thread…

Depends entirely on where you were and what you were doing there to be fair. If it was say a pub garden I'd say YWNBU. If it was some sort of public installation like they have on the South Bank YWBU to expect everyone to accommodate your need to lie down and should have gone home for a rest. Context please!

Surely a deckchair where the OP (or anyone suffering from fatigue) would have provided a more appropriate, and less problematic in terms of dealing with other people, place for a rest than a public bench, though? They're usually pretty reclined.

You both were. It sounds like it's a public place. You don't lie down on public benches regardless of long covid.

Benches are for sitting/resting on not for climbing/jumping off. Kids should either understand this or have it explained to them. I don’t think outside shoes on a bench where people sit is appropriate. I do think having a lie down (were you completely laid out flat?) on a public bench a little unusual.

You weren't rude, but I wouldn't necessarily say the kids were either. Lying down in those circumstances seems a little odd.

If it was a 5 metre bench and they were my kids jumping near someone else's feet, I would have told them to stop doing it there and come and do it nearer to me (or not at all if they had muddy shoes).

I don't think you were unreasonable OP and do hope your Long Covid gets easier soon.

You were lying on a public bench which is weird in itself. Go somewhere private if you want to lay down. Kids are allowed to jump and play in the park.

Really? That seems very harsh.

She was on her lunch break too far from home, and needed a rest.

I wouldn't lie down on a bench in a public place, but she was rude about it.

Reminds me of the time my dc were on the beach throwing rocks into the water.
the beach was huge and empty. Totally empty!
A couple of ladies came along and set a mat out directly between my dc and the water 😬
yes….. within a few mins one had been hit her friend came charging over to us saying we needed to make our dc apologise I said ‘you had the WHOLE beach to pick a spot on and you chose there what were you expecting?’ (My dc have SEN it wouldn’t have occurred to them to stop)

You didn’t need to lie down.

They were in the wrong though.

They went to a bench that had someone on it and was climbing and jumping all around it.

I don’t think you sounded rude either.

Was it a pop up park in a city centre? City near us has one in the summer and climbing on the installations was encouraged.

She was on her lunch break too far from home, and needed a rest.

Then she can lie on the grass or recline the seat in her car or ask for a private space at work.

She was being ignorant but there is a certain class of person who thinks that everyone else, especially a woman, should be totally beguiled by their endering brats. They tend to get very nasty when anyone refuses to participate in their delusion.

She was being rude (and mean). Benches are not for climbing on. Those that think its acceptable wouldn't like their sofa being stood/jumped on by their kids friends with dirty shoes on. Same principle imo.

Where was this bench?

All the benches in my part of the world have things to stop homeless people having a snooze on them so the concept of lying down on one seems alien to me. I probably would have just sat on it personally but you have my sympathy with the long covid, it's a right pain.

She's hardly teaching them any compassion or consideration for others. People might feel faint or need to lie down for all sorts of medical reasons. It could be a homeless person who sleeps in the day to avoid attacks at night. Sometimes people need to be left in peace or asked if they need help. She's raising selfish, entitled children.

@Pixiedust1234

Its nothing like an indoor sofa

OP needed a lie down for their long covid. Who are we to judge whether or not that was what they needed. People do what they have to to cope with their health conditions, it's not a game to think of the most inconvenient thing.

You were an adult led down in a public space.

As a decent person I would have kept my children far away from you and perhaps even have asked if you were OK.

YANBU. Sorry to hear you've been unwell, I hope you feel better soon.