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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a weekend off

114 replies

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 18:53

IABU in a way as this won’t happen but I’ve been actually fantasising about it.

I just want a weekend where I can eat food without DS trying to grab it or wanting to share, have a glass or two of wine and not be thinking that I will be up several times in the night and early next day. Sleep all night and lounge in bed next morning. Read. Watch films / box sets.

I have to keep reminding myself one day …

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 04/05/2022 18:55

As someone whose eldest is now 36, the baby years go really fast, even though they seem to drag at the time.

namechange30455 · 04/05/2022 18:57

How old is your DS?

Are you a single parent?

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 18:57

I’m not a single parent but I don’t think it would be fair to leave DH with him. He is 16 months.

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 18:58

Don’t we all! I’m envious of single parents whose kids go to the dads on weekends or half the holidays.. what I would give for a weekend to myself!

Malariahilaria · 04/05/2022 18:58

I was not a fan of the baby toddler years. A wise mumsnetter said 'take loads more videos than you think you need to and not just birthdays and Christmas but having breakfast and normal stuff' because you'll be so mired in the exhausted drudgery you'll forget the cute fun times.

It is boring and exhausting but once the youngest gets to a certain age you will get a break and you can plan weekends away solo to just read a book. I need to book one in actually!

LubaLuca · 04/05/2022 18:59

YANBU. I think every now and then it makes us all feel a bit sad that we can't please ourselves like we used to before we had children. I once just walked out of the house and went to the cinema with lots of snacks just because I had a sudden and overwhelming feeling of being trapped.

DashboardConfessional · 04/05/2022 19:02

I hear you. DS is 3. I've done 2 nights away visiting a friend, and a couple of work overnights, but I really really want to be by myself in a spa with a book!

I couldn't really go anywhere for the first 18 months as I was breastfeeding at 4am until then.

marymaryquitecontrary820 · 04/05/2022 19:02

I think any mum that says she doesn't fantasise about this lying.

But as they get older it gets much easier. Try and get out for a few hours and leave DH in charge, he will be fine.

anywhichwaytoo · 04/05/2022 19:04

YANBU. The early years are so tough and I remember desperately just wanting a break. I had 2 under 2 and it was hardcore. Then one day the youngest went to preschool and I got a few hours to myself every morning.

Hang in there.

Ispini · 04/05/2022 19:08

I think you need to start carving time out for yourself. I was a SAHM to two kids until they were 2 and 4. I used to get up early on a Saturday morning and drive off to my local city by 8.30. Got breakfast and faffed about for the whole day. Sometimes cinema, clothes browsing, TK Maxx just looking around. It was never a big spending spree but it gave me a break and genuinely set me up for the week. My DH was always on board with it and it really made him appreciate what I got up to every day. We always tried to get out for a walk at least as a family on a Sunday. It’s important to have a break, it’s vital.

worraliberty · 04/05/2022 19:08

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 18:57

I’m not a single parent but I don’t think it would be fair to leave DH with him. He is 16 months.

You can have a night off though surely, and a lie-in the next morning?

Ispini · 04/05/2022 19:10

Sorry meant to say of course it’s fair for your DP to be with him, he’s not a newborn and they need to forge a separate relationship with each other.

pinkyredrose · 04/05/2022 19:11

I’m not a single parent but I don’t think it would be fair to leave DH with him

Why on earth not? Does your husband think it's fair to leave your son with you?

coodawoodashooda · 04/05/2022 19:12

PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 18:58

Don’t we all! I’m envious of single parents whose kids go to the dads on weekends or half the holidays.. what I would give for a weekend to myself!

Yeah. It's such a laugh. 0

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 04/05/2022 19:14

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 18:57

I’m not a single parent but I don’t think it would be fair to leave DH with him. He is 16 months.

What exactly would be unfair about leaving your son with his own father?

YABU, as you could do it and are just choosing not to.

Leeds2 · 04/05/2022 19:19

I am not really sure why you can't leave DS with his dad overnight. But, if you are reluctant to do so, you can surely get some "me" time during the day? Have DH get up early with DS at the weekend, and have a lie in yourself. Do not cave in on your resolve to stay in bed by yourself, no matter what! Go out by yourself, to do something you like, when your DH is at home. If spas are your thing, go with a friend or by yourself. Go to the theatre/cinema. Go out for lunch. Go watch a football match. Whatever is your thing, go and do it! Enjoy your five or so hours away from the house and, hopefully, go back feeling at least a little bit refreshed.

jackstini · 04/05/2022 19:19

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 18:57

I’m not a single parent but I don’t think it would be fair to leave DH with him. He is 16 months.

Has DH ever had a weekend off and left ds with you?

If so then Yabu, you can absolutely do the same

Could you just do 1 night at a friend's? Wine, takeaway and lie in...

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:21

No, he hasn’t.

You know my circumstances and budget do you @fairylightsandwaxmelts ?

OP posts:
Ops1 · 04/05/2022 19:22

YANBU but tbh I’d had all that before dc was 16m

message your friends/cousins/mum/sisters anyone and say right when we having lunch/food/ drinks/ an overnight somewhere! Book it in

separate to that tell dh to pull his weight!!!! Dh and I did every other night on duty so I knew that it was my night off I can have a wine whatever or just a night when I don’t get out of bed!

Crunchymum · 04/05/2022 19:23

PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 18:58

Don’t we all! I’m envious of single parents whose kids go to the dads on weekends or half the holidays.. what I would give for a weekend to myself!

What an ignorant comment 🙄

Ops1 · 04/05/2022 19:23

Didn’t really make it clear there was a budget issue in your op

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:24

IABU in a way as this won’t happen

first line.

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 19:25

Crunchymum · 04/05/2022 19:23

What an ignorant comment 🙄

Show quote history

😂 I AM a single parent, I assumed the op was when I read it, but later see she has a partner so I’m not sure why she can’t have a break if she does, I’m not going to pretend I’m not jealous of those whose kids dads have them on the weekend? I would love a weekend off, I’m a lone parent so never any time to myself, let’s not pretend all single patents never get a break many get weekends off/half holidays/ 50/50

Pebble55 · 04/05/2022 19:26

Why can't DH take him? I look after our 6 month old while my missus goes off bouldering or out for Saturday brunch with her 'no-kids' friends. Giving your partner relief from childcare outside of working hours is part of being a father IMO. Others may think differently but I personally would rather we didn't go back to the days where children were 'women's business only' and Daddy came home drunk after work every evening.

PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 19:27

When I was reading this I assumed it was from someone where no other parent was involved; which isn’t the case but let’s not pretend that’s the case for all single mums and like I said yes I do feel jealous of those who get free weekends! What I would give for a regular weekend to myself