Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a weekend off

114 replies

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 18:53

IABU in a way as this won’t happen but I’ve been actually fantasising about it.

I just want a weekend where I can eat food without DS trying to grab it or wanting to share, have a glass or two of wine and not be thinking that I will be up several times in the night and early next day. Sleep all night and lounge in bed next morning. Read. Watch films / box sets.

I have to keep reminding myself one day …

OP posts:
AngelinaFibres · 04/05/2022 19:27

PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 18:58

Don’t we all! I’m envious of single parents whose kids go to the dads on weekends or half the holidays.. what I would give for a weekend to myself!

Wow. You have no idea. No bloody idea.

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:27

Just going to say nicely this was meant to be a relatively lighthearted thread. I’ve been really depressed lately and was just looking for some harmless chat/understanding, not being berated for doing everything Wrong.

OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 04/05/2022 19:27

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:21

No, he hasn’t.

You know my circumstances and budget do you @fairylightsandwaxmelts ?

But why can't he can take DS out for the day and leave you in peace?

It doesn't cost money to take DS to the park with a picnic.

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:29

@PumpkinsandKittens single parents have an exceptionally hard job and you will never hear me say I have it as hard as or harder than them. OTOH I am permitted to find it hard myself.

OP posts:
fedupofdrama · 04/05/2022 19:29

I genuinely don’t see where you’ve been berated for ‘being wrong’

most people came in with helpful points such as dh can have your child… which you’ve not replied to…

you sound highly strung and need to speak to your dh about at least some ‘me time’ in a bath with a glass of wine and relaxing music once a week as a minimum then he does wake ups

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:30

It doesn't cost money to take DS to the park with a picnic

no one said it did

OP posts:
PumpkinsandKittens · 04/05/2022 19:30

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:29

@PumpkinsandKittens single parents have an exceptionally hard job and you will never hear me say I have it as hard as or harder than them. OTOH I am permitted to find it hard myself.

I never said that you said that? But you could have a break as you have a husband, you said you don’t want to leave the baby with him as it isn’t fair?

BobHadBitchTits · 04/05/2022 19:33

Who berated you?!

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 04/05/2022 19:34

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:30

It doesn't cost money to take DS to the park with a picnic

no one said it did

So why can't DH take him out alone for a few hours and give you a break?

You say it's not an option to have time to yourself, people are giving you advice and you're just snapping at everyone.

Why isn't it an option for DH to take him out one day, do the night-wakings and give you a lie-in occasionally? Lie-ins, night-wakings etc. should be split so you both get a break.

luxxlisbon · 04/05/2022 19:34

I don’t really understand why you are complaining that posters don’t know your budget or are apparently saying you are doing everything wrong by suggesting you actually can get a break if you want to.
You don’t need to splash out on anything but you have a partner and your toddler will be absolutely fine without you for a few hours.
Imo there isn’t anything lighthearted about motherhood martyrdom.
Its tough, it’s tiring, it can be relentless but if you are going to act like carving out any ‘me time’ is totally out of the question then you aren’t doing anything to help yourself.
Have a lie in on Saturday, then go out for a walk on your own, maybe sit in for a coffee and a pastry and take your time wondering home. Easy, cheap and will help your mood for the weekend.

LuckySantangelo35 · 04/05/2022 19:36

@Springsnow22

Why can’t his dad have him to give you a break?

a few people have asked this and you haven’t answered

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:40

It’s not really a break I posted about though. That’s why I said I wanted a weekend off. Not an hour or two. It’s a shame the thread has attracted ‘start an argument in an empty room’ posters.

OP posts:
fedupofdrama · 04/05/2022 19:45

Haha op your the one spoiling for a fight

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 04/05/2022 19:46

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:40

It’s not really a break I posted about though. That’s why I said I wanted a weekend off. Not an hour or two. It’s a shame the thread has attracted ‘start an argument in an empty room’ posters.

You're the one arguing with everyone, lol.

People are just trying to help you. It's not our fault we don't know all your specific circumstances 🤔

Vsirbdo · 04/05/2022 19:48

Once DD was 18 months I started having the odd night away for various things and it was lovely and so refreshing, would fully recommend it. DH did too so it didn’t feel unfair

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:48

fedupofdrama · 04/05/2022 19:45

Haha op your the one spoiling for a fight

Definitely not and I’m sorry if it comes across that way. I just find it very hard when posters are encouraged or steered towards being unpleasant about partners / husbands. Mine does a lot for our family (as he should!) but I know he wouldn’t cope with DS alone for a weekend.

OP posts:
Oblomov22 · 04/05/2022 19:48

Then arrange a weekend away. Dh was more than capable of looking after ds's. I'm sure yours is too.

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:48

@fairylightsandwaxmelts if you’re genuinely trying to help fair enough but I’m not really looking for help. I’m just having a bit of a low moment.

OP posts:
HairyBum · 04/05/2022 19:49

DH could easily give you a break

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:49

As I’ve said, DH wouldn’t be able to cope and besides finances really won’t run to that at the moment. I don’t want the thread to be an argument, it’s more that I’m finding parenting generally a bit overwhelming just now.

OP posts:
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 04/05/2022 19:49

Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:48

@fairylightsandwaxmelts if you’re genuinely trying to help fair enough but I’m not really looking for help. I’m just having a bit of a low moment.

That's fair enough, but it's not fair to jump at people who are giving you well-meaning advice to try and help you.

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:50

Maybe just leave it @fairylightsandwaxmelts ? I don’t think I ‘jumped’ especially.

OP posts:
LuckySantangelo35 · 04/05/2022 19:51

@Springsnow22

could not leave your son with his dad whilst you went away for a night to a spa or a hotel with a friend or on your own even?

Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:52

No - don’t really have the money and DH would struggle with DS overnight.

OP posts:
Original poster
Springsnow22 · 04/05/2022 19:52

Apologies if I misled but I was pretty clear in the OP that this won’t happen for a long time, I’m not really necessarily looking for advice on escaping literally. It’s more a sense of feeling so overwhelmed and never getting to relax or proper downtime.

OP posts: