To be deeply offended

[medicmummm]

Is it me, or is it so much easier to offend people now a day.

There are more protected characteristics (rightly so) but I almost feel like I'm always stepping on egg shells and concerned about upset someone.

Does anyone share this feeling?

You're not alone. But just because someone gets offended, it doesn't mean you're wrong! A lot of people miss that bit.

Upset them about what?

Anything

Especially gender identities... I just know so little about it

I don’t really find this, to be honest I usually only hear comments like this in regards to blatantly racist, sexist or homophobic things and accompanied with “you can’t say anything these days!” or similar.

Most of the things that are unacceptable now and upset someone actually upset in the past too, it’s just people didn’t care about that.

What did the person say when you offended them?

What I've noticed is the terminology constantly changing, or even disagreement within the same group as to how they want to be referred to, it's really hard not get it wrong, and of course you are then called whatever name deemed suitable, no room for apologies.

I don't think its easier to offend people, I think the world is more aware and people who mumble on about "PC brigade" and "not being able to say anything" were probably bigoted to begin with and just don't like the repercussions now people are able to speak out.

I'm not bothered because I generally don't say anything offensive and if I inadvertently do I listen, learn and apologise.

Protected characteristics are protected because of the level of actual discrimination (not ‘offence’) on those grounds.

Totally different to the current apparent determination amongst our young people to identify as victims, often on behalf of someone else to whom they are an ‘ally’. Declaring yourself offended seems to be a way of validating the idea that there is lots to be offended about.

Meanwhile, on MN, racism crops up fairly regularly, ageism is endemic, and in the real world there are some pretty nasty people who do perpetrate hate crimes and discriminate. So let’s not contribute to a culture in which it is ok to dehumanise those people with bad jokes and stupid comments.

So… yes, and no.

Yes it is as often things are taken out of context and I'm not talking about race, sexism just general everyday things at times

this exactly. Racist/misogynistic/homophobic comments were highly offensive in the 70's, only those who were offended didn't feel they had a voice to speak out without making themselves the target of yet more abuse, because society saw them as 'lesser'.

I don't understand people who complain about "pc gone mad" and "you can't say anything" - why would you not wish to know if you were inadvertently upsetting someone so you can avoid doing it again?

I try to engage my brain before I speak most days and I’m quite glad for others to do the same.

misses point clearly

What is it you are saying that means you risk offending people? I hardly ever have anything to say where I have to stop and think "hmm.. is it ok for me to say that or will it upset them"

Being offended is a choice. Caring about people being offended is a choice too.

I tend to find that not caring too much combined with being generally well meaning does the trick the vast majority of the time.

@medicmummm yes I agree! People are very easily offended these days... maybe it's all the 'woke' community as Piers Morgan says..,

I actually find it quite easy to not offend people. You just have to not be racist/misogynistic/homophobic/ageist. Try giving it a go!

I’m pretty outspoken and have found it very easy not to offend people.

if you aren’t a twat generally you can talk a misunderstanding through.

Largely people who moan about how easy it is to offend want to say offensive things.

It depends what you mean, really.

If you mean "people could make comments about someone's weight/race/nationality/skin colour/sexuality etc years ago and now people are offended about it and actually saying so instead of just letting it slide", YAB very U. Thank god we've moved on from being able to casually make disparaging comments about who someone is.

If you mean that the shrinking of people's opinions into black and white 'takes' on the internet that leave no room for nuance and our reactionary news cycle/use of social media mean people have no chance to clarify before someone gets upset, sure.

Like other posters on the thread, I find it very easy not to offend people, so perhaps it comes down to how you're talking to people?

To those of you who think people are too easily offended today. Can you give an example of something you would like to say, but can't because you are concerned it would be classed as offensive?

I don't find this at all.
What do you want to say which is deemed offensive?

I seem to get through most days without having to worry about offending anyone so it’s odd IMO that you find yourself walking on egg shells daily.

are you a “I say it as I see it type”?

Don’t worry so much about upsetting people then. People are entitled to disagree with you and vice versa. Your feelings are your own responsibility and that applies to everyone else too.

This

This!

I haven't actually offended anyone its more of a concern I have. Im not an anxious person K just feel out of my depth with terminology and being ND doesn't really help. However, I can piss someone off and not really realise 😂

I agree. I think I would have to actively go out my way to offend someone.