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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Mumsnet doesnt deserve its reputation

113 replies

pebimo6 · 02/05/2022 09:29

Used to post on the feminism board here a few years ago but moved on.

Was reading a thread just about Mumsnet and I think more specifically about aibu. Thought I'd check in again and can't really find any of the silly threads, all seems boringly normal

To think Mumsnet doesnt deserve its reputation
To think Mumsnet doesnt deserve its reputation
To think Mumsnet doesnt deserve its reputation
OP posts:
DishyFishy · 02/05/2022 09:40

Well the tone deaf thread about seeing the hike in energy prices as an opportunity to do more to save the planet, was fairly recent.
I suspect Mumsnet is predominantly middle class so that may be true but I'm not sure it can be criticised for that.

yourestandingonmyneck · 02/05/2022 09:45

I think it's a bit of a weird place, to be honest.

I think there a few wise posters (often on the feminism boards) but by and large I find a lot of shrill shrieking of the same old tired stuff.

You can tell from an opening post how it's going to go and what the responses are going to be. And by and large I find it's not how people behave in real life.

CuriousCatfish · 02/05/2022 09:47

Tattle deserves its reputation though.

worraliberty · 02/05/2022 09:52

You can tell from an opening post how it's going to go and what the responses are going to be. And by and large I find it's not how people behave in real life.

Sometimes you can actually tell by the title.

Rikitikitardis · 02/05/2022 09:55

Nad, it is weird here but that’s why it’s interesting!

SolasAnla · 02/05/2022 09:57

Why complain about a forum one had decided not to participate in?

Is it to virtue signal?

Look at me! I am not like the people women over there!

🙃

Fishwishy · 02/05/2022 10:03

It's quite odd but interesting at the same time. Quite woke and pc in many cases untill it comes to trans rights then the complete opposite. Militantly feminist to the extent of engaging with open misandry. Yet with a waft of middle class perl clutching about it. Thankfully outside of here there the women I meet are much more balanced and open minded in their opinions.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 02/05/2022 10:04

I had to hide all the feminism stuff because it was making my blood boil. There's some hideous transphobia on there imo.

NippyWoowoo · 02/05/2022 10:09

I actually agree with everything said 🙈 I am also addicted to this site, I cannot explain it. It's like looking at a train wreck.

I also think that this thread will not last very long...the one mentioning a MN thread oh another 'renowned' forum got zapped.

No doubt Die Hard Mumsnetters furiously reporting

NippyWoowoo · 02/05/2022 10:10

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 02/05/2022 10:04

I had to hide all the feminism stuff because it was making my blood boil. There's some hideous transphobia on there imo.

And then someone always comes along saying, wide-eyed, 'WHERE is there transphobia? You should get that reported, it's not allowed, I NEVER see it here!'

PacificState · 02/05/2022 10:11

I honestly think any forum that was predominantly female would attract essentially misogynist commentary. 'Shrieking', 'pearl clutching' etc are really gendered terms, insults that only ever get thrown at women (what would you call a man doing these things? There isn't a word for it is there? Why not, do you think?)

There's lots of behaviour on MN that makes me roll my eyes (jumping in with two feet to be drive-by unpleasant is my pet peeve), but it's just human behaviour. I could say the same thing about any internet platform. Much worse in many cases - you don't get violent sexualised abuse on here as you do on Twitter, for instance.

I've got no patience with journalists - and they're almost always young women! - writing off Mumsnet as a hive of bitches. I can only assume they think they can gain approval by trying to separate themselves from dried-up older women. They will learn, sadly, that they can't, because misogyny comes for all women.

Antarcticant · 02/05/2022 10:12

Hmm, well I have a house-husband, an average salary and am working class so that Tattle post is bollocks.

Thehawki · 02/05/2022 10:15

NippyWoowoo · 02/05/2022 10:09

I actually agree with everything said 🙈 I am also addicted to this site, I cannot explain it. It's like looking at a train wreck.

I also think that this thread will not last very long...the one mentioning a MN thread oh another 'renowned' forum got zapped.

No doubt Die Hard Mumsnetters furiously reporting

I love that I’m not the only one thinking it’s like looking at a train wreck 🤣 I think some threads can go a little bit witch hunty for no reason. I quite often disagree with the majority here and I never bother commenting when I do because people get SO angry and bothered about what is just a difference of opinion. I guess that makes it a little bit of an echo chamber, but that’s the same with all forums really.

stilldumdedumming · 02/05/2022 10:16

@PacificState I agree with all you've said!

Plus from a different angle, there is incredible access to support here. If you are going through something or even have some thing you need help or support with, there will be someone here with some experience. It's amazing for that, but nobody really reports on that.

NippyWoowoo · 02/05/2022 10:17

That being said, TattleLife is awful

Ereshkigalangcleg · 02/05/2022 10:17

Plus from a different angle, there is incredible access to support here. If you are going through something or even have some thing you need help or support with, there will be someone here with some experience. It's amazing for that, but nobody really reports on that.

Yes, this. Women support other women, frequently. Most of the criticism is founded in misogyny.

JenniferBarkley · 02/05/2022 10:17

NippyWoowoo · 02/05/2022 10:10

And then someone always comes along saying, wide-eyed, 'WHERE is there transphobia? You should get that reported, it's not allowed, I NEVER see it here!'

Show quote history

And I think they think that's clever.

KeepYaHeadUp · 02/05/2022 10:20

Reading those screenshots made me literally facepalm. "Everyone is middle class but then also everyone talking about their poverty..." almost as though it mightn't be EVERYONE being one or the other and it's really just a combination of very well off, not very well off and people really struggling financially.

Tattlelife passing any sort of judgment on the behaviour of people on other websites is rich - I was a member a while ago and still go on there occasionally. I'm not easily offended but it's fucking nasty!

JanisMoplin · 02/05/2022 10:22

I think AIBU is often very weird but I have found fantastic help and wonderful people in other sections. I need to be on other social media a lot for my job, and believe me the larger MN site has the most intelligent and sensible women out there.

Perhaps it is overy middle class at times. But even the middle class have MH problems, or relationship problems, or parenting problems.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 02/05/2022 10:23

I love your typo Janis Grin

Changechangychange · 02/05/2022 10:27

Honestly I like that fact that a really broad range of people post here. Most I don’t agree with, but I like that fact there’s no groupthink on here (outside of the JKR Twitter wars stuff, which is easily swerved).

it does mean that 50% of the posts claim they are richer than Rishi Sunak and 50% claim they live in the workhouse, but I assume those are two different groups of posters, not one person fibbing. Could also be fibbing of course, there are a lot of made up threads. Don’t really care as long as they are fun.

Tattle on the other hand always seems really bitter and mean spirited. Not a big fan of the “let’s all sneer at Mumsnet” Reddit either - I like the rest of Reddit, but that particular sub again just seems very bitter.

JanisMoplin · 02/05/2022 10:28

Ha ha yes!

Anyway I am now fully WFH after the pandemic, plus so many of my friends have drifted away or are too busy in midlife, so I find MN an absolute godsend. Also really helping me with anxiety in peri-menopause.

I agree the cost of living and saving energy thread was ill-advised. I rolled my eyes a bit at that.

Changechangychange · 02/05/2022 10:29

And yes the miscarriage, SEN and DV/coercive control support on here is amazing. Worth reading for that alone, and then you also get the parking threads!

medicmummm · 02/05/2022 10:31

I think sometimes people on here can be plain mean.

I got told to F**k off?! Not something u have been told to do in real life nor would i say to others.

There seems to be a huge divide of swimming pool owners (most appear ot be fake wannabes as class don't talk cash) to those on the bread line worrying about social services reacting to how the act?!

Not really the middle class place it was made out to be.

Feckingfeck · 02/05/2022 10:33

Changechangychange · 02/05/2022 10:29

And yes the miscarriage, SEN and DV/coercive control support on here is amazing. Worth reading for that alone, and then you also get the parking threads!

👍🏻

Im only here for the parking threads 😂and humor of course.

But you need thick skin if you are willing to give an opinion!