To think Mumsnet doesnt deserve its reputation

[pebimo6]

Used to post on the feminism board here a few years ago but moved on.

Was reading a thread just about Mumsnet and I think more specifically about aibu. Thought I'd check in again and can't really find any of the silly threads, all seems boringly normal

I really don't think it is transphobic to not believe gender trumps sex and to want to preserve female only spaces

I really don't think it is transphobic to not believe gender trumps sex and to want to preserve female only spaces

Me neither

And that's all the feminism board says - men cannot become women (it's biologically impossible) but let's respect everyone's identity without riding roughshod over Women's rights.

I agree with this but I am also acutely aware of the narrow definition within which femininity and womanhood is defined and I know I am the sort of person who might find herself outside the line once we start going down the road of strict rules and policing of who is and isn't a woman. For me it's a lot deeper than a man in a dress and a wig changing their name from John to Judy.

I agree with you too and the previous post. Mn is one of the few spaces that allow the conversation so it gets attacked regularly. I appreciate we can discuss it though.

re other stuff there’s a fairly wide range, lots of cost of living crisis stuff atm but now other things creeping back (skiing, Chanel etc)

👏🏼 When people have genuine concerns and want to protect womens rights / safe spaces, are called transphobic, it just makes the word lose its meaning. Those things are not transphobic.

That's a bloody good point

Mumsnet, and the people I met on here, is in large part the reason my 2 disabled kids have fantastic provision via EHCPs. I had no idea what their rights were, nor how to secure them. I do now, and I've done it. I will always owe it for that.

Agreed. It's the last six words which present the problem. This is what's identified by some of the (people or groups) obsessively monitoring this site, as 'transphobia'. For this reason MN has no option but to police the FWR boards extremely rigorously, imposing a distinct set of rules for those boards which are stricter than elsewhere on the site, and why some of the threads end up resembling Swiss cheese.

On the whole, MN are navigating choppy waters and have a difficult task, but at the very least they provide one of the few spaces on the internet in which it's possible to have such a discussion without the axe of the censors falling or the usual threats flying around. The policing is necessary if women are to have such a space at all, and there are some groups online (Twitter has at least one designated account) in which men get REALLY angry at the idea of women actually talking to one another about the issues that affect us.

Women, know your place.

Whenever I see “MN is…” it strikes me that people only see it from their own lense and biases.

Any thread by anyone with any amount of money is soundly rounded on and has people falling over themselves to point out how poor they are. But people say MNetters are all MC wealthy.

Fat or food threads are full of people telling us how we’ve all lost sight of normal weight.

Everyone’s kids are fat, lazy, stupid, but nobody has fat, lazy, stupid kids.

It’s full of “woke” and you “aren’t allowed” to make any comment about trans stuff but every other thread will have someone commenting about trans stuff.

This site has a large number of people who use it, and it is the site everyone sees it as.

That’s funny on Tattle about the candles 😆

MN can be really supportive at times

other times it’s just ridiculous though this is amusing (the number of posters that would punch someone/or find something rude that in real life most wouldn’t give a second thought about)

sometimes it gets nasty,
cliquey and there certainly is bullying

and it’s left wing but strangely closed minded at times

and yes very mc and many wanting to informing others that they are mc

but it’s often an enjoyable way to pass the time

and it’s always been this way just there are more posting now

What are all these mumsnetters who "aren't like the other mumsnetters" like?

This site is like a train wreck indeed... like a pp mentioned

What's its reputation? I've never heard of it.

I was just saying on Reddit that the women on here go mad if a "Zombie Thread" is resurrected. I have never seen so much upset about such a stupid thing on any other forum.

Nor normal behaviour.

Thats lovely to see.

I am always in awe of how women are willing to help guide a stranger through the red tape to get a good outcome for that stranger.

@zafferana I ventured onto it once after hearing about it on here. It's called Tattle Life, and they basically exist to slag off KP and Instagrammers like Mrs H. I'm talking thread after thread after thread, analysing their every move. And they're not too kind about their children either, if memory serves

That's one thing I like about MN - it doesn't allow children of celebs to be targeted and if you report posts doing this then they are deleted.

It's a parallel universe!

It's a very odd place. And the majority of people don't behave like people on here do.

I’m on both tattle and mn. Tattle is way bitchier.

but sick to the back teeth of reading things about transphobia on here. Every second thread seems to end up in some discussion about it. In the real world although I know of a couple of trans people it’s not something I, or most people I know, give any headspace to. But I do agree that women’s rights to safety need to be better protected

At least Mumsnet don’t allow the utter shit on Tattle including sharing influencer addresses, trolling people who have openly admitted to being suicidal and tearing women down for anything from parenting to their teeth.

Quite.

Tattle doesn't allow sharing influencers addresses. Why lie?

The thing I do like about mumsnet is actually it has a very broad variety of people commenting- yes there are lots of middle class mums, but also some lovely ladies with or without children who are clearly struggling in all kinds of different ways- be it money or mentally. In one minute you can get 'should I send my son to Eton' to how can I make £15 last a week. There are a fair few people who clearly have no empathy with anyone who hasn't got family money , savings and 5 acres and a fair few the other way who make nasty jealous comments at anyone daring to say they are looking for a 2 week holiday in Greece or mentioning the price of ready meals in Waitrose etc. on the whole though a great many women are supportive and helpful-- I've found some great tips on here and suggestions and many threads that gave me a lot of food for thought about various things.