AIBU to think that women’s rape crisis therapy should NOT be mixed-sex?

[IamSarah]

Women’s rape crisis therapy in Sussex is currently mixed-sex. The women's groups are open to anyone, male or female, who identify as a woman.

My women’s therapy group was attended by a male who presented outwardly as male.

I am making a legal challenge to the Sussex Rape Crisis centre claiming that women who have been raped or sexually abused should have the option of single-sex female only therapy IF they want it.

This would be in addition to the existing mixed-sex options.

If you are thinking YANBU then please visit my Twitter page which has more information on how you can help women like me secure female only therapy:

twitter.com/sarahsurviving

If you are thinking YABU please let me know how you would explain this to your daughter, mother or sister if she’d been raped?

Except the one the OP is taking about - which does have a male only group. And a trans group. And a mixed sex group. But no female only group.

I am agreeing with you - yes it should be a women's only group

Absolutely this.

YANBU and I have contributed to your case. Thank you for doing this, you are amazing

I'm glad you agree.

Did you not think it rather crass though to come onto a thread about female only groups, and say 'but what about the men?' The thread's about women. Start a separate thread if you want to talk about the dire lack of male groups.

I have done on other forums - and it was discussed there with varying replies.

I don't think its crass to talk around a subject? Otherwise all AIBU threads would just have replies which are either Yes or No - and since it is a discussion forum, we will lose the chance to discuss the topic in its wider sense.

The question would be - Why wasn't the male directed to the male only group? - but I suppose that should be posed on another thread.

The question would be - Why wasn't the male directed to the male only group? - but I suppose that should be posed on another thread.

Or you could look at OP's other posts or her crowdfunder. FWIW, the male claimed they were a TW and therefore wanted to join the women's group, even though there were male groups and groups for those identifying as trans.

Ah, so the question would be - is it acceptable for a male who identifies as a woman to join a female only group when there are trans groups available?

There is something wrong with any group that refers to 'gender assigned at birth' instead of the correct 'sex recorded at birth'.
If they have that wrong at the start then their whole philosophy is wrong.

Ah, so the question would be - is it acceptable for a male who identifies as a woman to join a female only group when there are trans groups available?

It's not even that.

The male who identifies as a woman can choose to attend either the mixed sex women's group or the dedicated trans group. Nobody is trying to take those two options away.

Women who need a single sex group have no provision in the whole of Sussex.

@IamSarah I think its absolutely disgusting that you are suing a CHARITY because they wont offer what you call single sex therapy.
They are a charity and can offer their services to who ever they want to.
You don't have to use that service, you are free to find another service.
There have been no discrimination law broken. You will lose this case if it goes to court and all the people who have donated money will be wasted. You will end up paying the other sides legal bills.

You don't have any chance to win.

How many people do you think will donate money if I said I was suing Womens Aid because they don't help men? Charities by law can provide what ever services they want to.

It makes me sick that you are targeting charities.

Personally I think it’s disgusting that you’re prioritising a man’s feelings above that of a woman who has been raped but there you go particularly when the man had 2 choices of group to go to but still insisted on forcing himself into the womens group

I work in the charity sector and charities have to obey the law. It is completely legal for a single sex rape support group to be provided fir women. Furthermore any charity that was really focused on its beneficiaries rather than its own feelings would recognise that but most especially a fucking service for survivors of rape

wailing “but they’re a charity!!” cuts no ice at all. They chose to behave appallingly to Sarah, they take the consequences of that.

@Boredoutmymind The charity was founded from a bequest specifically to support women and girls. Offering additional services is great, but trustees of charities have a legal obligation to make sure the charity achieves its purposes.
This is the governing statement that I think is for this charity:
"Governing document, RAPE CRISIS SURREY AND SUSSEX - 1170712, Register of Charities - The Charity Commission" register-of-charities.charitycommission.gov.uk/charity-search/-/charity-details/5082175/governing-document.
Charitable objects
1) TO RELIEVE THE NEEDS AND PRESERVE AND PROTECT THE PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH OF WOMEN AND GIRLS FROM AGE 13 YEARS WHO HAVE SUFFERED FROM ANY FORM OF SEXUAL ABUSE IN PARTICULAR BUT NOT EXCLUSIVELY BY PROVIDING COUNSELLING, INFORMATION, ADVICE AND SUPPORT. 2) TO EDUCATE THE PUBLIC ABOUT RAPE AND SEXUAL VIOLENCE THROUGH THE PROVISION OF TALKS, TRAINING AND BY SUCH OTHER MEANS AS THE TRUSTEES MAY DETERMINE.
The trustees are not achieving that objective if the relevant women say they are being prevented from accessing support due to men being put in the room. There is absolutely a legal case to challenge what the trustees are doing here.

Yikes, found the handmaiden 🤮

You don't have to use that service, you are free to find another service.

Where would you suggest in Sussex @Boredoutmymind ?

Do your parents know you were up at this time?

@IamSarah you are a powerful and inspirational woman

Apt username 🙄

It’s illegal to discriminate women, no matter who does it and that includes charities. What makes me sick is that there are people who are defending this misogyny.

Well said

@Boredoutmymind
If you could put your self righteous anger to one side and actually read what Sarah has written,you would understand there there is no other service in her area for her to go to.

You don't have to use that service, you are free to find another service.

If you had read the OP, you would know that in Sussex there is no other service.

Reading is your friend.

There are some seriously badly managed charities out there. #justsaying

a) the charity was set up for women and girls.
b) there were two other options for bepenised-ladies to go to but this particular penis owner wanted to listen in, only, to the group of biological womens accounts of rape.
c) there was no other help available to Sarah.
d) I and clearly many other women are beyond grateful to Sarah for being brave enough to stand up for this injustice, charity or not, they are there to provide a fair and equal service. Men 3- women 1 (with the addition of lady penis) is not what the Equalities Act 2010 would consider fair.

All power to you Sarah, off to plant some potatoes. Thanks for the reminder.

I’m shocked to see how this case is being totally misrepresented on Twitter. Although I shouldn’t be surprised. Certain activists know what they’re doing and some of their supporters will enjoy riding the wave of righteous indignation without bothering to read the facts of the case.

Should we be reassured that these people need to lie in order to make their argument? Anyway, I’ve just donated.

It is to be expected Cattenberg

People are insistent I am trying to prevent trans people accessing support which just isn't the case.