AIBU to think that women’s rape crisis therapy should NOT be mixed-sex?

[IamSarah]

Women’s rape crisis therapy in Sussex is currently mixed-sex. The women's groups are open to anyone, male or female, who identify as a woman.

My women’s therapy group was attended by a male who presented outwardly as male.

I am making a legal challenge to the Sussex Rape Crisis centre claiming that women who have been raped or sexually abused should have the option of single-sex female only therapy IF they want it.

This would be in addition to the existing mixed-sex options.

If you are thinking YANBU then please visit my Twitter page which has more information on how you can help women like me secure female only therapy:

twitter.com/sarahsurviving

If you are thinking YABU please let me know how you would explain this to your daughter, mother or sister if she’d been raped?

YANBU, if people wish to attend mixed sex therapy then that is their choice but singles sex options should be available for women and men.

I've been following on you on this since you first flagged the issue. You are very brave and I really hope you win the legal challenge (and I have donated).

Of course you're not unreasonable. If people feel they want mixed sex therapy groups to cope with rape, bully for them. The default should be single sex. Transmen who have been raped are welcome in single sex groups of course.

It's ridiculous that anyone thinks it's acceptable. Their claim that transwomen "add value" to the women's groups is just bizarre - surely most women in the group, having been raped by penis, would rather not have the "added value" of a one in the room.

Totally agree and it makes me feel very angry that a space that was designed to support vulnerable women most of whom have been seriously harmed by men have had their one safe place stolen.

YANBU of course, but how many women would choose to go to the mixed sex centre if there was a single sex centre? It would be empty of women.

But we have to remember that men get raped too.

Yes men get raped too by men and I'm sure they want to discuss their experiences with similar people (men) doesn't mean women have to step aside for them

YANBU. Good luck.

of course you are right, and thank you for fighting for survivors

Good luck OP, I'm so sick of this pandering to certain groups at the detriment of women, particularly vulnerable women.

When is this madness going to end?

Thank you for the support.

I can't share the details of the crowd funder on here but if you are able to spare a few pounds and / or help me spread the word on your social media the details are on my Twitter page:

twitter.com/sarahsurviving

YANBU, OP.

Right behind you.

YANBU. I'd love to see what arguments TRAs can come up with against single sex rape crisis centres.

YANBU. More pandering bollocks.

Vulnerable women should be entitled to single sex spaces without question.

I’m not sure where I stand on this. Where would the support be for men who have been raped? I seriously doubt anyone would go to such a group for kicks. They need help too.

YANBU, and mixed sex services should be described as mixed sex.

DontPickTheFlowers Trauma therapy sessions should be single sex, that doesnt mean they are only provided for one sex. Just that there are separate sessions. I'm not sure how this is confusing.

DontPickTheFlowers

In Sarah's example there is a men's group, there's a mixed sex group - and a women's group that accepts men that say they are women. No single sex women's group. How is that fair? A man has the choice of all 3 groups.

I guess my response to but how many women would choose to go to the mixed sex centre if there was a single sex centre? is "so what?". Unless the point of women is to validate the feelings of the males identifying as female then it really shouldn't matter whether the mixed sex group consists only of men who identify as women, men who identify as men and men who don't identify as anything or if there are also women in the group.

Yes, men get raped too. Men who get raped need support. They should have the option of attending single sex (male) or mixed sex therapy. They should not be allowed attend female single sex therapy.

In the same way, women who get raped should have the option to attend single sex (female) or mixed sex therapy. They should not be allowed attend male single sex therapy.

OP - best of luck. I really hope sense is seen. It always seems to be the most vulnerable who are thrown under the bus to satisfy male desires.

@DontPickTheFlowers
My understanding from reading what Sarah has written is that there are groups for men, groups for trans so it looks like they are getting the support needed. The issue is the women's group has now been opened to anyone who identies as a woman, making it a mixed sex environment. I don't mean to be disrespectful but I feel you are being naive if you don't think that some sexual degenerative won't use this loophole as an opportunity to get his rocks off listening to the experiences of traumatised women.

So your solution is automatically to prioritise men and who cares about the women?

First, there are male support groups.

Second, even if there were no male support groups, why should female rape victims have to receive support alongside males when they are not comfortable with it?

Do you think women are second class citizens who don’t deserve their own provisions?

I’m not sure where I stand on this. Where would the support be for men who have been raped? I seriously doubt anyone would go to such a group for kicks. They need help too

There are male only support groups.

Oh believe me there have been some creative ones

Oh and you are so wrong to say "I seriously doubt anyone would go to such a group for kicks".

Thank you Sarah for challenging this. Have contributed a little to your crowd funder.