To think being a SAHM/housewife is not the same as someone claiming benefits?

[Jajana]

Was chatting to my sister and was talking about how my MIL is a housewife (sorry not sure if that’s the correct term). She said that being a SAHM/housewife is no different to someone claiming benefits and would rather claim benefits than rely on someone for an income!

Bearing in mind, FIL runs a very successful business and all of the money MIL receives is from private funds - not through the state.

Am i being reasonable to think being a SAHM/housewife isn’t the same as claiming benefits?

It seems then that only those claiming benefits have the unfortunate title of 'unemployed'. What title is given to those who don't want to work for whatever reason? As you said it used to be homemaker or housewife but I don't think people call it this anymore.

It seems people understand that it's rude to define people by the lack of something they do not desire in some situations, look at the way we are careful to use the term child free rather than child less in the fitting context but cannot see how it may be rude to define sahps who do not wish to work as simply jobless. It comes across as a real chip on the shoulder.

Besides a great many people on benefits are on in-work benefits. Benefits isn't a simply short hand for jobless.

If you're a SAHM you're unemployed. I don't know why people can't accept that. "Homemaker" is just bullshit to make people feel better. I was a SAHM for 4 years, it is unemployed.

I'm talking about those whose children are no longer dependent. My friend has 3 young children and doesn't work so I would describe her as a SAHM but surely when her kids reach independence she wouldn't be a SAHM if she doesn't go back to work?

It's not really your job to go around sticking labels on people though, is it?

I don't think "unemployed" is a suitable term for SAHP. It implies a wish to be in work that isn't there (in most cases).

She might call herself a sahm, or a home maker, or she might become a student, or a lady of leisure or anything the hell she wants. Only if she has an unmet need or desire for paid work is she jobless.

I agree that she can call herself whatever she likes, but most people would be a bit about someone describing themselves as a SAHM if they don't have any kids at home!!

No of course not I'm just interested really. It seems that those actively seeking work, with the label of 'unemployed' are getting a bum deal as the word does have negative connotations. Also I don't have a chip on my shoulder, I work because I want to and my husband would support me if I chose not to.

So my 18 yo DS (at college) is unemployed? My 80 yo old FIL is unemployed? My rather rich cousin, now living off some very astute investments and business decisions is unemployed? (Although he still pays more tax on his “unearned income” than I earn).

If my DH had simply paid £1000 pm direct to me instead of just giving me full access to the joint account would that have made me employed?

Maybe job seeker would be better? I guess that affords people the courtesy of describing what they actually do with their time, rather than what they don't do?

It seems then that only those claiming benefits have the unfortunate title of 'unemployed'. What title is given to those who don't want to work for whatever reason? As you said it used to be homemaker or housewife but I don't think people call it this anymore.

If asked what I do for a living I would say I don't work. On a form the only commonly understood title I have used is housewife/homemaker (still there as an option). It's a fudge though because I don't really do that much in the house. Housework is shared.

At the moment health and fitness takes up a large proportion of my time, I run 10k a day and go walk plus do strength and flexibility training. It is a priority to me and was needed after my cancer treatment. I was also overweight and had bouts of sciatica. I'm not overweight anymore and my back rarely even aches now. However, I don't want to stop anytime soon and my husband is incredibly supportive. He loves me training so much - he's sporty and loves running himself so it's something we can share now. Maybe I should say amateur athlete!😂

I think the term 'unemployed' for SAHM is used to devalue the role and actually if you want to stay at home (whether you have children or not) and you are able to finance it - then why not. I met with a friend last night who has decided to quit her role and not go back to work. Her previous role became more and full on and she ended up quite ill. She is now recovered and is focusing on her health (like the previous poster) and has decided not to return to work but to support her husband in his business. I ended up as a SAHM by chance really - my part-time role was never part-time - and actually it has been really rewarding. i have got to get involved in my children's schools in a way that I didn't have time for before and I have met people who would be completely different to the people I meet at work. I think if you get off the 'hamster wheel' of corporate life then it really changes your priorities and how you live your life. Totally fine of course if you enjoy that environment - it should be about choice.

But I am not seeking a job.
So I’m not a job seeker.

And like others have said, unemployed means you are seeking employment.

I’ve had to fill in many official forms recently. Housewife has always been an option.

Christ, housewife is on my marriage certificate, not unemployed!

Yes, I'm with you. I've said that in every single one of my posts. Of course you aren't a job seeker if you don't want a job, that was rather my point.

I do think housekeeper is a fairly accurate description, although much miligned - along with just about every other activity usually or historically the preserve of women.

Sorry, I’m knackered.

No worries.

Absolutely hilarious to read all the self-professed busy busy working mums wrangling over labelling SAHMs. "No you can't be this. I declare you to be that." Bizarre. It's seems they're more obsessed with it than the SAHM - yet, "oooh no, we're not bothered really."

Btw - I've been a SAHam for a long time and you can call me what you like.

Whatever makes you feel better about yourselves.

signed

the SAHM (but only after school hours) who is otherwise 'unemployed' but may also be a 'homemaker.'

If you're a SAHM you're unemployed. I don't know why people can't accept that.

Accept what?!

That they are 'unemployed' and should apply for unemployment benefit?

Absolutely hilarious to read all the self-professed busy busy working mums wrangling over labelling SAHMs.

They should call themselves "Family CEO" or "Chief Home Officer"

A sahp is just that, a retired person is a retired person. A person in education is in education. A carer is a carer. Why is it seen as lacking to be something other than employed. These people are not the opposite of employed, job seekers are the opposite of employed.